transitions.......

psssst come close.. do i have a blog for you... all about transitions !!!!

Usually my Sir is pretty much like Raheretic (swan's Master) .. He just expects me to be there when He arrives....... there is no little ritual that He uses to get me there.. i am just expected to be there!

On Friday when i drove into the parking lot of our little condo.. i was half surprised to see Sir's car already tucked into it's space. i mumbled a little bit under my breath that i had the time it takes to empty my car and walk to the door - to pull myself through the transition and be there !!! i entered the house and stood looking (dumbly i might add) at two black bags sitting by the front door. i lifted my eyes to see our friend and Dom - Clouddarklight - sitting in the wing back chair in the living room - there truthfully aren't any words to describe the tableau that played out in front of me.. or inside me!!! My heart was pounding and i wasn't the least bit sure of what was going on... was i going to be sent to the kitchen to make coffee?? was i going to be gestured to come and sit at Sir's feet???

i was told in no uncertain terms to go upstairs and strip and bring the tack bra back down. Everything seemed to move so fast.... the tack bra was strapped on.. and pulled tight.. i picked up Cloud's black bags and carried them down the stairs to the playroom.......... Sir and Cloud were busy discussing where i would be hung........ (the chains won out) and without a "by your leave" i was strung up and the quirt was removed from its place of honour on the wall and was being used on my ass..... i gasped ... my mind was racing to catch up.. just 15 minutes ago i was getting out of the car - dressed like the teacher i am.. carrying my purse and briefcase and all the outward signs of a woman in control....... and here i was naked (except for the tack bra) hanging from chains in the ceiling being stroked and hit with a quirt.....

Just a small side comment here........... having a tack bra on... good and tight.. and then having one's arms stretched to the limits clipped to chains .. tends to bring ticky tacky pin prick ouches to the underside of one's breasts (more so than just normally wearing it) .. but i wasn't worried.. i had been here before.. no matter how much it hurts.. no matter how much it feels like my breasts are being slowly mauled and turned into raw hamburger meat.. there is never a mark to show for it..kaya promised.. never a mark!! .. i was calm .. i wasn't worried !!

Sir and Cloud took turns for a bit working over my ass with the quirt... then Cloud selected one of my least favourite tawses and started to work on my ass... Sir was using the quirt on my pussy and bra covered breasts... There was a fair amount of bantering going on between the two men... my mind was trying very hard to keep up with it all.. the talking/bantering.. the pain on my pussy.. on my breasts.. on my ass...

Then Sir suggested that it was probably a good time for Cloud to bring out the new toys He had made......... i have been the "toy test dummy" before for Cloud's toys... and i knew for certain that the only thing that WAS certain was that the next few minutes were gonna be lessons in surprises .. and pain........ and different sensations...

The first toy Cloud used felt .. in the final analysis.. razor sharp......... biting cutting slicing into my skin........ it got a rating of 9 out of 10 (cause i never ever give a 10 out of 10!!) This toy had me dancing my subbie jig of pain........

Cloud handed off that toy to Sir and reached for the next one.... While Sir was flicking away at my clit jewelry and breasts (still wrapped safe and sound inside the tack bra) Cloud went to work on my ass with the second toy...... i remember murmuring it felt pretty much like a flogger - much like my "stings like a thousand bees" flogger only with a little less bite.........

The Cloud reached for the final toy........... final being literal and figurative.......... that one nearly finished me off.. it felt much like a whip.......... with a hell of a wrap around..... more than once the tongue would lash around my hip and catch the edge of my pussy...

Sir was working on my breasts.. but every once in a while He would wander around behind me and i would feel the tempo pick up.. feel the sting that only Sir can give me.. and then Sir would wander back around and go to work on my breasts again........ at one point.. and for the life of me i have NO idea what toy it was .. but the toy caught the bra and flicked one of the tacks buried inside.. i let out a yelp that could have been heard at the North Pole i am sure !!! Sir moved over and undid the bra and let it slide up ........... He gleefully pointed out that my breast was bleeding... i glanced down to see .. yes .. i had been impaled on one of the tacks... more than one.. but one was bleeding...... all the while Cloud was busy working away on my ass and tops of my thighs..

It wasn't long after that that Sir and Cloud took me down ... and Cloud left to join His wife for dinner.. and i was left curled up at Sir's feet with fairies whispering in my ear..... welts forming on my ass... and pin point holes left in my breasts from kaya's tack bra........... KAYA!!!!!!!!

calling all strong women.........

i was reading a blog that asked the question..

how does a submissive go from this.............
to this...............

and as much as i came up with a fast glib answer - the question has had me thinking this week..............

because ....... you see......... one of the toughest things i have to do in a week is change my mind set from "boss" to "submissive". Sometimes when i get home on a friday afternoon i am tired and exasperated and find it very difficult to bite my tongue and curb my needs / temper when i walk through the door. It is like the submissive me is hiding and just doesn't want to come out.......... i want an easy transition..... i want it to happen in the car driving home.. i want to be naked on my knees when i enter the house (which is NOT possible so don't go there!!)

i can't be the only submissive who lives in the "real" world - the vanilla world - and has to make the transition........... what helps you ?? Is it something YOU do?? or something your Dominant does .. that helps you make the transition.........

Friday is two days away.......... can i say HELP?!!!

long time

It feels like such a long time since i had anything juicy.. anything BDSM .. to write about here..........

It doesn't just FEEL like a long time .. it has been a long time!! i thought i had lost the urge.. the desire.. the need......... i was inches away from panicking... what happens to old subbies??? Is there an old subbie home for them to limp away to ???

It has been a month of fighting a virus (that trust me folks i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy) .. a month of adjusting to new meds that have left my muscles sore and strained and achy.. (or was that the virus?? ) It has been a month of being sleepy by 9 p.m. It has been a month of little or no focus.. desire.. or laughter.. In short.. it has been the month from hell.

But... just to remind me who was really in charge of this old body.. on Friday night i was awakened from a long winter's nap .. to feel Sir pushing me roughly over onto my stomach.. feeling his hand work its way into me.. feeling it caressing me.. deep inside.. finding that special little spot that woke me instantly......... the grogginess .. the whinning .. the oh my god He can't be serious!! all vanished with the touch of His hand....... i remember clutching at the pillow.. lifting my hips to meet His thrusts.. begging for release.. and of course.. release being granted........ i remember snuggling up to my Sir's back... enjoying the warmth and security and the absolute joy that He still found a way to use me.. that He still wanted to use me............

And then on Saturday .. for fun.. Sir fastened clothes pins to my soft pink bits.. i screeched and whined and moaned... the pain was wonderful.... it soothed me .. in a ridiculous sort of way.......... i lay at Sir's feet and was thoroughly enjoying it.. when He decided in His evil way .. that He absolutely HAD to have a cup of coffee...... COFFEE??? that meant finding a way to work myself up to my feet without doing too much damage to said pink bits... i shuffled rather than walked.. legs spread apart to avoid pulling too much on the damn clothes pins.. feeling my face blush as Sir laughed at my antics and snapped picture after picture of me shuffling along.. clothes pins dangling.....

And then the time came to remove them.. and Sir asked me.. "all at once ..or one at a time?" ONE AT A TIME of course !!! my god.. what was He thinking .. all at once.. geeeeeeeez !!! And so He tugged at the first one.. and i felt Him sort of shaking it.. pulling it.. and i opened my mouth.. and in such a good subbie way asked "what the hell ARE You doing??" And He laughed and said "This one is stuck on .. good and stuck!!" And with that gave a might heave.. (ok ok it felt like a mighty heave!!) and off it popped... Fortunately none of the others were quite so stuck on......... Once freed from the evil bite.. my hands flew down to check.. to make sure everything was still where it should be...... and it was.. of course !!!

And today.. Monday.. sitting in my office staring at the computer screen i had this tremendous urge to feel a flogger again.. or a cane.. or a whip......... and i realized i may have turned the corner.. the virus may actually have lost its strangle hold on me.. and life may once again move forward..........

11th month 11th day 11th hour

i have just spent the last hour sitting at Sir's feet watching the Remembrance Day Memorial Service from our Nation's Capital on TV. It is something i have never done before.

The program began with eulogies from some of the funerals of men who have died in Afghanistan - it was almost too much to watch as two young boys wiped tears from their eyes at their father's funeral.

And then the cameras moved to show the vets sitting at the War Memorial, under umbrellas and wrapped up in plastic rain coats as the rain beat down on them. It was almost too difficult to watch the emotion in their eyes, these old warriors, who come each year to lay a wreath in remembrance.

A number of years ago i - in my naive way - thought that one day soon Remembrance Day would be a thing of the past... the old warriors are dying off... Did you know there are only 3 veterans still alive from the First World War?? Their average age is 106. The average age for veterans from the Second World War is 80something. The average age for veterans from the Korean War is 74. But now there is a new "war".. and the average age of the soldiers from the Afghanistan 'peace keeping mission' is 30 something.

Remembrance Day is not soon going to be a thing of the past..... and i can't help but think .. more's the pity.

i long for the day when on the 11th day of the 11th month at the 11th hour we will all celebrate peace......

HUH??

Yesterday i went and checked on the Holidailies site.. for those of you who have just joined me here on The Journey...... last December i entered the Holidailes and posted every day from Dec 1 - Jan 3 or something like that.... and i was thinking it was time to check and see if it was time to sign up again..... for some stupid reason i rather enjoyed the discipline of writing every day........i love Christmas .. love the lights the sounds the smells the music... i even changed my blog to reflect the Christmas season and my devotion to Holidailies.........



Now i have to add here - for those of you who weren't around last Christmas - that my Sir is a GRINCH... a total complete Grinch!!! One is more likely to hear Him muttering "bah humbug" than Merry Christmas.......... and yet .. it always amazes me who hides the most gifts under the tree.. who wants to drag ME around Christmas shopping for just the RIGHT gift for some one special !!

Now i should have seen this coming........ last weekend we were out shopping and Sir bought the new grandbaby a Christmas present !!! and it is only November !!! i should have seen this coming... but i didn't....

(editorial note here......... i have been having trouble dealing with a virus - i am into my 3rd week with it.. AND the Doc gave me new meds to control my blood pressure which are working just fine thank you very much - and making me feel really yucky!! so Christmas is not exactly a holiday i am looking forward to )

Last night Sir suggested that i find the Christmas lights for the house...... (suggested really means "order") and i kinda whined and muttered cause i HATE putting up the lights... even though Sir has bought a new fangled gadget to help get those lights up there......i just don't have the stamina or energy or desire to do much more than think about Christmas lights...

Then this morning i got an email from Sir.. sent to my daughters as well... inviting us all to a Tree Decorating event (in December thank god) !!! now i know i said my pressure is much better.. but let me tell you !!! i nearly had a heart attack when i read that... could it be?? is it possible ?? that MY Grinch's heart grew 3 sizes this year????

So....... i am guessing by the end of this weekend....... my house just may resemble this....
and like it or not.. Christmas will be celebrated with all the bells and whistles of years gone by..........