Checking In........

I am so relaxed up here in the country that I am finding it hard to write a post every day......... (OK truth!!  I can't think of anything to write..... I am not connected to the news as much - only getting headlines - stupid people don't surround me - well almost! all of that equals nothing much to write about)

Homeschooling is muddling along - more about that tomorrow....... Our numbers here in our province seem to be sliding downwards - though we have had a couple of blips ... for the most part they are going down.  However I read in the news how it is suspected that the US - specifically some of the states - may be fudging their numbers ........ which makes me wonder if we're not fudging our numbers too.......

Then just to make matters worse (so to speak) our weather took a turn for the better - we seem to have skipped spring and gone straight to summer with temps in the high 90's......... that brought the covidiots out in large numbers on the weekend - congregating in parks by the bus load :(  They seem to think because 'young people' don't get as sick they don't have to worry (le sigh)  Now begins the waiting game to see if our numbers spike again in 14 days.  

A neighbour up here gifted us all with personal face masks!  Mine has japanese writing on it.... the masks for the lil one have dogs and cats... Sir Steve's still hasn't made an appearance but she (the seamstress) said it would be mostly black (mmmmm it's almost as though she knows what/who we are - grinning) .  Now the lil one has custom fitted masks - she and I can run into town and pick up a few things at the grocery store ...... it will make for a nice change in our routine.

Now your turn......... what's going on in your corner of the world??? 
Roll Call................

Check In Time

Just a quick weekly check in........... how's everyone doing??

Here we're doing ok I guess..... I'm up to my eye teeth with homeschooling... organising/packing to move to the country (tomorrow!!)  till September....and just the every day stuff ya know?? 

Almost every day I have to pinch myself cause it all feels so normal -- and it's far from normal!!  Our government is now suggesting the use of non-medical masks when going out into crowds (or what amounts to crowds these days) ....... with our move to the country I won't be able to avail myself of the early opening for seniors at the local stores....... sigh....  anyone else HATE face masks?? The biggest problem is how they fog up my glasses when I go into stores....... I become instantly blind...... (and yes I have the nose piece fitted tightly over my nose and yes I have my glasses down over the top of it... and it still fogs up!!) 

For the first time since this all started I was able to get my prescriptions filled with no problems... even my Ventolin was in stock!!  YAY!!  BUT we still can't get more than 30 days of meds at a time - which is a pain cause my druggist has always given me 3 months supply when we move to the country but not this year.  (not a major problem really when you look at the bigger picture)  

The biggest blip is a personal one......... my hair.......... it is so long and shapeless that every time I look in the mirror I cringe.. and feel so ugly - which is affecting my sex drive and my over all mental state.
This is my hair cut............... 

I used to have it cut every 3 weeks to keep the shape.... it's been 2 months!!  Can you even imagine what it looks like??!!!  Trust me -- U G L Y! 

BUT I continually remind myself how lucky we are....... Sir Steve is still working... we have a roof over our heads and food on the table...... and a great summer place to move to............. I almost feel guilty complaining about minor things like foggy glasses....... 

How are you all doing???

Boring

Honestly - there just isn't a whole lot going on around here... not physically or mentally. Can we say "dead"??

I was musing this week on a couple who left the lifestyle for a time and she mentioned to me in passing that it shocked her how many of their "friends" (in the lifestyle) didn't even call them once they were "gone". She realized that they honestly didn't have any thing in common - other than whipping and flogging and the latest BDSM gossip. I found that sad.

Well I have been "gone from the lifestyle" going on 3 weeks now. (the damn gall bladder - remember??) And truthfully haven't heard diddly squat from any of my so-called "friends" in the lifestyle. Oh wait .. I lie. One did drop by last week for coffee.. and spent most of the time we were together talking about how broke he was... and dropped a hint?? (I am not sure if it was a hint - or just a passing thought) that if someone would loan him $1,000 life would look a whole lot better.
I couldn't help but think a $1000 would make just about anyone's life a little bit easier these days.

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On another note....... yesterday my principal walked passed me in the hallway and said "I don't think you are working your 7 hours a day. Send me your hours please" I was speechless. And then I was stressed. And then .. well then I got pissed off. I work 7 hours a day and then some!! So I sent her an email with my hours clearly documented. At the end of the email I wrote that I would NEVER cheat the system!!! Later on she commented that she hadn't meant me to take it that way.

Well how was I supposed to take a comment like that??!!! Don't you dare tell me I am overly sensitive.. or over reacting! This morning my hours were 7 - 10 am. I found it interesting that at 9:35 my intercom rang - it was the main office. However I was on the phone with a parent and didn't bother acknowledging the office. I figured I would get back to them. After 2 more intercom calls, the secretary wandered down to my office and told me to pick up 101 (a call on hold) I nodded and said "when I get off this phone call". I got the distinct impression they are checking on me.......... and I am getting more pissed. I think from now on I will document every time I work 5 or 10 minutes longer than I am supposed to.. I will document every time I pop in to the dollar store to pick up some little thing for the program.......... grrrrrrrrrrrrr..... I hate being doubted.

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I really appreciated kaila's comment on my blog the other day. In part she said:
"It's not that you don't want to serve or be the slave you know you can be, but you are unable. ............. The fact that Warren has been there for you speaks volumes about his character. I don't know either he or you enough to make an overall judgement nor should I, but it is obvious he "gets" the idea of the responsibilities that go along with ownership."

and I know I have heard it before.. but for some reason it hit home this time. So on Sunday afternoon when the doorbell rang and there stood Warren - I felt like the luckiest person alive. The hardest thing about being sick and waiting .. is the waiting alone. I don't know about you folks.. but my imagination just runs wild .. especially at 3 in the morning.. and google (god bless it's little search engine) just sends me off wildly checking and double checking symptoms and diseases.. Having Warren stop by for a couple of hours of chit chat helped ease some of the loneliness and worry and stress.

My doctor arrives back in town tomorrow. I am hoping against hope that in the next couple of days I can touch base with her and maybe line up a surgeon. I am also hoping that she - being the miracle worker that I believe she is - might just get this whole process moving a long a little faster.

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Oh yeah .. when Warren arrived on Sunday he brought with him another birthday gift for me. A split blade fantasy knife. It is sitting and waiting until I am mentally and physically ready to play again. The split blade knife makes the most interesting patterns.

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We had snow over the weekend.. which of course got me thinking Christmas.. which of course just depressed me. I have no idea at all about what to get for family and friends this year.. and I can't help but wonder if I will even be around for the celebrations........... I keep thinking I should get out and get the shopping done NOW......... just in case. But I have little to no energy left by the end of the day .. or the end of the week.

Maybe if worse comes to worse my kids and grandkids would move in for a day and decorate and turn my house into a Christmas fantasy land. maybe?

And that's about it for the news around here in the Great White North. Not much of an adventure going on.......... no BDSM...... not much of anything.

But this too shall pass............. eventually.

Almost two weeks

It has been almost two weeks (Monday will be two weeks) since that awful horrible dreadful heart rending uncollaring.

And i am still here...... still limping my way through each day... but making progress! It is funny how progress is measured ............ at least around here..... yesterday i went to the meeting at the Board with the powers who be........ AND i managed to put my case across well enough to win the debate!! (YAY me) i can still fight the good fight and win .........

Then i took my poor lil black focus to the car wash and told them to give it a good spring cleaning... the works !! And while they were stripping it down and washing and polishing and waxing i took myself to a new restaurant in the same mall ...... and had breakfast !! i have never EVER taken myself out to breakfast - alone.

Then i went to a big box store and picked up some bulk stuff i needed - i even managed to find sleepers for the newest edition for Easter - cute things one with blue stripes and a car .. the other with green stripes and a giraffe.

Then i was more than ready to make a mad dash home to the safety of my lil condo. But i did it!! i faced the big bad world head on and survived (grinning)

And to drakor ........ who has challenged me to find the creative side of me once again.. to pull out the camera and the crafts and start creating once again....... i spent a good part of the afternoon finding oriental pictures.....downloading them.. cropping and fixing them.. printing them.. and putting them in a collage frame that my old staff gave me when i left.

When W left he took with him all his pictures that had graced the walls here.... and one big hole was left in my reading room...... that's where this new oriental collage went......... (we won't talk about how many damn holes i actually put in the wall trying to get the silly frame to hang straight......... but hey !! the holes don't show and the picture is up)

SEE !!

And last night i even managed to stay in the living room till after 9 watching TV instead of locking up.. putting on the alarm .. and scurrying upstairs to the office and hiding myself away !!

Today i have a "hot" date with a really good looking guy.......... my 9 year old grandson. We are gonna go out shopping so he can spend his birthday money....... and then have lunch in a restaurant (which does not mean Wendy's or MacDonald's) that took some explaining................

So i am limping forward......... i still have a couple of really big things to deal with...... but i am not ready to "go there" yet... it has been enough that i am taking back the small areas of my life for now....... the big stuff comes next.

And honestly i couldn't do it without all my good "friends" on the net who have been dropping by and encouraging me... the shoe is off and the foot isn't hurting nearly as much :) i am even planning a big trip (well big for me!!) this summer if i don't become too much of a pain in the ass !!

Progress is measured in small steps forward.

peekin' in

ok .... so i haven't been around for a while...... and i have had some inquiring emails to see if i am still around.......

so today i thought i would post a quickie and let you all know i am alive and breathing.......

so i went looking for a pic to illustrate "peekin in" and found the above picture which made me grin... i love some of the polar bear pictures that are floating around on the net... in fact i have a really sweet one of a mama bear carrying baby bear on her back across the frozen tundra from last Christmas - hanging above my desk in my office. (ok - so how was that for a run on sentence??)

Anyway back to the point.......... peekin in to let you all know i am alive

It has been a month or two of busy-ness.....

let's see .. new baby grandson has been "off colour" since Christmas - which was worrisome for all involved (he does seem to have turned a corner and no one is any closer to really knowing what was wrong)

then there was the announcement of the closure of my school (and for those of you who don't know our system - hell even some of us don't know our system - i can't bump anyone..... despite having the 4th longest years of service)

then on the same lines there have been all sorts of rumours of what the Board is going to do with me...... and i am trying very hard not to listen to the rumours.. or to give them any credance - until i hear officially........ which means i don't think about it much during the day - but do think about them when i wake at 3 in the morning.........

and of course there are the every day normal routines that have to be gotten through.. from gangs in the school yard.. to a young student who just lost her leg to
bone cancer.... paper work, registrations for next year ... my own health issues - and some much needed time to refocus and realign.......

and for the one commenter who suggested i continue writing Behind the Screen.. not as easy as it seems.. i have to feel it in my heart.. see it in my minds eyes.... (which is a polite way to put " i really need to feel horny and sexy and used and abused" and i don't) so don't look for any installments for a while ok??

So ......... i am alive and getting well.,... and who knows i may be up and writing regularly again soon........

For today i have the grandkids and my kids coming over for birthday celebrations........ so i am off to blow up balloons and ice cakes and wrap presents...