Generic - no name

Well I haven't used that pic for a longgggggggggg time............ 

BUT

this morning I was thinking (yeah I know not a smart thing for me to do - especially at this hour........ before the sun is even up)

W and I went to a munch yesterday afternoon - great munch (most aren't) with old friends to catch up with - and some newbies to scare.  Yeah Yeah I know - we're not supposed to scare the newbies - but it's soooooooo much fun!!! And multitudes of topics being discussed and sub- topics.


I think the sub-topics are rattling the loudest inside my addled brain...............what to wear/ what not to wear/ how to identify dom/sub/top/bottom 


It was mentioned that I have a strong character - which makes me come across as being Dominant.......... shrug.. heard that one before.. only W knows just how not strong I am......... 


A was there - a boy toy (quite literally "boy") that I played with a few years back...... and drakor was rambling around in my head (cause he was gonna try and show up and cause he has hinted he would like me to come play nurse while he recuperates from some surgery ) W was talking (teasing??) about how I like to hit - and can do it.. and have done it.......... And I was thinking how I might suggest to A if he makes it out to a play party that I wouldn't mind beating his ass........... but bit my tongue - at the time I wasn't really sure why............ 


But later on during the munch I got chatting with Sir S and joked about getting some hits in on HIS ass for a change........ which prompted some good natured teasing about having Him over some spanking bench.......... when i got all serious like and said "But that wouldn't happen publicly would it?? Cause it would alter how people 'see' you"  And he agreed.


So this morning I was running all that around in the head....... and realized that the only time I have topped (to any degree) it has been in private.  I think at first it was because I was worried that my "style" would be critiqued and I was new and didn't want to make mistakes publicly - but this morning I realized it is much more than that.............. 


People already see my dominant side (strong character and all that) and I guess I just don't want to encourage that propaganda.  I can ....... am able to...... spank someone's ass...... and I think I can do a fairly good job of it........... but god!!  I am so much happier on the receiving end.......... and just selfish enough to want all spanking time devoted to my ass........not someone else's.


So to all those who come and wonder if I would spank ............... it ain't gonna happen I am afraid......... I am much happier on the receiving end......... hot blooded sub that's me.... 


(though maybe somewhere deep inside - I am a generic Top)