Reviewing

And it is ......... time to rethink my work ethic - my work style - my management style.  

I tend to believe (behind my rose coloured glasses) that people are good - and kind and caring.  I tend to believe we all want the best for our neighbours - our co-workers - our friends and family.

I tend to believe (behind my rose coloured glasses) that people will do no harm to one another.

It is a very BIG thing for me to discover that I am wrong - oh so very wrong.

The reader's digest version of my last month is - I have assigned some temporary work (on two different occasions) to two different people - one who is going through a hard time and needed a little extra cash. ......... and one who has worked really hard and I felt deserved a little concrete recognition......

I have given a couple of people time off 'cause I thought it was "the nice thing" to do.  

On the other hand - I have pushed my staff for excellence - (well if they shoot for the moon and don't make it - they will land in the stars - or something like that)...... actually what I have done is plan a wonderful program  (in my humble opinion) for the children based on visiting different countries and learning about their customs, food, clothing etc.  I hand out the projects (no thought or planning on the staff's part) and just ask them to follow the guidelines.

 Turns out they don't like having to actually DO something with the children - they are happy being well paid (like $21 an hour well paid) baby-sitters.  Turns out they don't much care about anyone who works with them - except themselves - and don't take good turns and pass them along.  Turns out they are simply vultures waiting for the right moment to spring and crucify their co-workers and me and then pick our bones clean.

Last Friday I found out that my staff actually are wishing that I get sick like last year, land up back in hospital, and on long term sick leave.

That one crushed me.


And so for the last few days I have been meeting with first my principal (who has been supportive and outraged ) then the head of Human Resources - and yesterday with the head of the Union.


All the "suits" support me and my radical idea that the staff are not glorified baby sitters..... BUT........... they also pointed out to me that I must follow the Union contract.  (Have I told you all how much I HATE the Union - well not the Union but their stupid contract)


So I have spent the last few hours (who needs sleep right??) re-evaluating the situation...... reviewing and revamping.


In the long run (the very long run ) they are screwed - 'cause if I follow the contract to the letter - they will benefit now........... but in the long run not so much....... cause I am gonna follow the letter of the law - so yes they can have their extra minutes here and there fairly distributed.......... but they won't be leaving early for some party with my blessing......... they won't take time off for doctor's appointments without supplying me with doctor's notes....... I won't go out of my way to give them over-time (which they all need so they can be paid over Christmas) 


I cannot allow myself to feel sorry for the few that will lose out...........I really do have to take the rose coloured glasses off - and work to rule (so to speak) ........ As my principal says "karma can be a bitch - and they will get their karma"......... it just might take a while.

And then on my personal side - my family side of life....... I have taken off the rose coloured glasses and put my foot down (Mom style) and said figuratively "I will not be treated that way" which has ruffled a few feathers and upset the apple cart....... who knows when this tempest will blow over ....... and when I will see my grandkids again....... but it is what it is.......... 

And I have ruffled (it would seem) a few feathers in blogville - by being me - by asking honest questions that ruffled (I am guessing by the response I got) more feathers - and I was taken aback - cause the question was asked honestly with absolutely no intent to do harm or hurt.  I just wanted to know the answer............. 


And I have gone invisible in our BDSM community - because I just have no patience with all the drama - and drama queens.  And I miss it a little bit - the community not the drama............. 

BUT on the plus side - there is always a plus side if one just looks - W is standing beside me - holding me close - supporting me - caring for me - hanging on to my shirt tales when I felt like I would just float away ........... He has been my rock and my strength...... 

And that dear readers - is why I have been in a blue funk - for the last little while...... and I am hoping that this review - this re-evaluation will bring me full circle .........