It's not easy being green

i have had some time this week to contemplate my navel.......no wait.. that wasn't my navel .. my navel would have been easy to contemplate.. no i have been contemplating my role as 'boss lady'...........

First i am the 'boss lady' at school trying to keep all the plates in the air ...... twirling happily.. but ya know there is always one or two that tumble and break...........and then i am left to patch them up with some glue and tape and get them back up there twirling........




and then i am "mom" the lady who is supposed to have all the answers to life's mysteries.. like bullies and grandkids.. and wedding dresses.. and future in laws.. and present siblings.. and hurt feelings.. and.. and.. and...



and then i have been nurse....... (god that i could look as good at being a nurse as the above picture depicts - instead i look ragged and worn and almost desperate). Sir is on the mend..... drakor hopefully is on the mend........ and between the nursing and the worrying .. i managed to pick up a nasty awful miserable bug..... and got to nurse myself.........



and then alpha sub.... (i really do hate being thought of as Dominant..... but lo and behold i am aren't i?? at work .. with family.. even with Sir sometimes.. having to take charge confidently and go where no man has gone before..ok ok that was an exaggeration.. just feels lonely at the top sometimes) and any sub who has never dommed another.. doesn't have a clue what hard work it is.. ohhhhh we can imagine...... but it isn't until we attempt to do it that we discover the work that is involved!! the challenges.. the pitfalls..but thankfully along with that go hand in hand the joys and pride in owning a slave..

i am thinking as i write this post that seems to be going nowhere and making no point at all.. which is ok.. cause that is where my brain is today... going round and round checking all those plates in the air.. even the slightly mended ones.. making sure everything is up and spinning ...that my needs are taking such a back seat to everyone else's needs that i am feeling just a tad green ......... and it isn't easy being green!!

i can only hope that this weekend...... after Sir finishes up with all His vanilla life .. that He will have some energy to come to me and tighten the leash and put me in the one position that calms me and focuses me........... and reminds me that i am not always the boss lady !! nor am i always green.