Monday, May 18, 2015

Stupid Me

It has been pointed out to me - more than once - that I tend to see the world through rose coloured glasses.  Shrug.  Maybe I do.  BUT you'd think wouldn't you that when one tries to do everything right - follow the rules - that they will come out ok - wouldn't you??

Well I worked for 20+ years and put money into what I thought was a private pension plan.  Then when I started to look into retiring I was told that because I worked for the government - that when I turned 65 my government pension would be subtracted from my private pension - which it turns out - the government did NOT consider all that private.  What that means in a nutshell is that come October my pension will be reduced by $200 a month!!!  It made me sick to my stomach then....... more so now.

Then - polishing the rose coloured glasses - my dream had been to move to Kingston when I retired.  My father had done all sorts of research and decided Kingston was the best city to retire to........... it has good hospitals (which one needs when one is "getting on")  it has theater ... it is half way between Montreal and Ottawa and Toronto ......... the taxes are cheaper ........... oh he made it sound like a retirement heaven.

W picked up on MY dream and decided we would move to Kingston (back when we were D/s).  Oh we talked about it in our vanilla voices........ even made promises to each other........... we sorted everything out....... I had my rose coloured glasses firmly planted to my face.... and it all seemed perfect!  I would get to move to my city of choice with the man of my dreams.  

Did I think twice about it?? NO...
Did I do any of my own research in case the promises... the D/s didn't work out ?? NO...

 NOW - I decide to take the rose coloured glasses off and look at what is facing me.... 

IF  - and it is just an IF right now - I have to find an apartment by myself I can't afford it.  Well I could find an apartment if I went to the student ghetto.....but finding a nice apartment in a middle class area - is going to be almost impossible.  
The rents are exorbitant.  To try and make ends meet I will have to give up the gym..... give up munches and dinners out - give up cable (well I might be able to afford basic cable) - maybe have to give up my car (have you seen the price of maintenance/licensing/gas these days??) AND even then I am not sure I will be able to make ends meet.  Am I looking at finding a part time job when all I wanted to do after 30+ years of working was enjoy retirement??

I only have myself to blame!  Dumb and dumber... that's me.  All the "should have's" sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear........ should have put more money away - should have looked into rents/costs on MY pension - not my father's - should have not sold / gotten rid of all my stuff when I downsized to move here to W's house - should never have put those damn rose coloured glasses on in the first place!!!

It's really frightening how damn stupid I have been !!!!



Michele d said...

I am so sorry that you are going through this and must confess I've been worried about the economic ramifications of your breakup with W. When "in love," we enamored females often neglect to protect ourselves financially, to our detriment when things go wrong. So the house is all W's? (I thought you'd bought the house together, and I know that you put plenty of your own money into furnishing and decorating it.) I just hope that he will step up and do the right thing--that is, help you out financially so that you can move out without ending up in poverty.

Anonymous said...

what a pity party.

Anonymous said...

I don't think you have been or are stupid. Its a mistake that 50% of retirees have made. I see the US is not the only government that screws its citizens. I never anticipated the high cost of medical when
I was working towards retiring. Then the government decides to change the rules and we get screwed again.
We all would love to live in a perfect world/society but it won't happen. Keep plugging away and I believe things will work out in your favor.
Sir Mike (US)

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that things don't go as planned. But don't give up. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade :).

It is too late to fix what was done in the past. You just need to focus on the present and future. I'm not sure how much you get from your pension for a month. But it definitely can work.

I live in a very good neighbourhood in Montreal and my monthly expense is between C $1200 and C $ 1400 a month. My apartment is a nice 3 1/2 one bedroom and I live alone. The monthly expense includes cell phone bill (4 gb data), Internet bill (150 gb), car insurance monthly (I have full coverage on 2013 SUV), gas, grocery (I never run out of food at home).

The only thing is that I don't have TV or basic cable. I never paid for TV cable in my life before too because I don't like watching TV much. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here. But I'm sure you can work it out.

Florida Dom said...

Sorry to hear about your situation but don't beat up on yourself. What is done is done and good luck in moving forward. I hope things work out for you.


Anonymous said...

I'm not sure even what to say. I get it. My own future is a little murky in the same way, but for different reasons. I'm likely on the freedom 105 plan...just sayin

And we look good in rose coloured glasses :)

Oh I did want to say this....Anonymous pity party person, can have their own bitter Betty party.

mini me

Hermione said...

Hi morningstar,

My pension is exactly the same. When I turn 65, it will be reduced because CPP will begin. But don't forget, OAP also begins automatically at 65, so that will offset the loss, I think.

I opted to take CPP when I retired (before age 65) so I've really been getting more each month than I would have had I waited till 65 for it. So the drop in my private pension won't be significant.

I was wondering about living arrangements, and if you were both still in the same house. I hope it can continue for you.


morningstar said...


I thought it was only the Quebec government that grabbed back pension money!! Nice to know it's not the only province that screws over pensioners :( I will get OAS only from the Federal goverment - and that is $200 less than my provincial pension - sooooo - there lies my $200 short fall. :(

It shouldn't be like this - for pensioners!! We work for 30 years (give or take) and then we land up in this mess... it just doesn't seem fair some how...

Anonymous said...

morningstar: I hope that you will get back what you put into the house, if you do have to move eventually. One would think that the other person would be honourable in that - as you both planned to be living together for the long term. It would be good to have a frank discussion about your expectation of being reimbursed at a time when tensions might not be too high.
As for the pension: Due to circumstance in my life, I have learned to live on much less than I thought I could - and been very creative in finding entertainment that can fit into my small budget. Somehow it all comes together in the end! Just keep the faith and keep on going lovely lady!

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE NOT believed, there's a difference. Sure, you may not have planned for all contingencies, but you weren't planning on your life changing so dramatically. So you got ahead of yourself, took a leap of faith based on something you believed was a sure thing. It didn't work out the way it should have so now, with the lack of a plan B, it's time to reinvent your life. You're a smart, competent, resilient woman, who spent years teaching the next generation how to survive. I have faith that you will make it over this speed bump and turn left instead of right...(i'm pretty sure you've been lost before and found your way..this time is no different). You have support, use us as a GPS, a sounding board, hell, as a place for free coffee :) I've had a plan B my whole never worked out real well so i said screw it and jumped without looking this time. So you're not alone...never alone.



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