Saturday, April 04, 2015
All I know in my heart is submission - to please and be pleasing.
I don't always achieve that lofty goal and when I don't it feels as though my world is crashing in around me.
When I am chastised for some failure/mistake my heart breaks - my internal dialogue says "you are not good enough - you didn't try hard enough - work on it work on it work on it"
And I do work on it and work on it and work on it - till my body drops from exhaustion and my brain spins
My submissive heart drives me to perfection - a perfection I will never achieve - because in a blink of an eye - a word a phrase a small action will shatter the drive for perfection into a million pieces.
And I lie broken