Submissive heart

All I know in my heart is submission - to please and be pleasing.

I don't always achieve that lofty goal and when I don't it feels as though my world is crashing in around me.

When I am chastised for some failure/mistake my heart breaks - my internal dialogue says "you are not good enough - you didn't try hard enough - work on it work on it work on it"

And I do work on it and work on it and work on it - till my body drops from exhaustion and my brain spins

My submissive heart drives me to perfection - a perfection I will never achieve - because in a blink of an eye - a word a phrase a small action will shatter the drive for perfection into a million pieces.

And I lie broken