Monday, May 24, 2010
Do you remember the ad....... "This is your brain on drugs"???? Well the picture above is my brain on endorphins. Yup.. that pretty much sums it up... all bright colours and shapes .. and nothing much concrete.
Sunday morning as I slipped between the cool sheets on my way to sleep... my ass sent electric charges to my brain.
When I finally give up on sleep restoring my tired body.... I presented my ass to the mirror.... and looked....... admiring the welts and bruises and touching gently this spot and that spot...... feeling the heat, letting the dull ache caress my mind.
I have vague memories of hands holding me.. of leather biting.. of tension and release, memories of paddles spanking, hands kneading, nails digging, wooden implements thudding, bright lights and dancing music, ice melting running down my legs puddling on the floor, my own wetness spreading saturating, musky scents, intense eyes staring, laughter and giggles and swearing and stamping feet.
Focus is not a word in my vocabulary. Words do not form easily. It is all bright colours and sensations and warm fuzzies.
Finally a need to hear their voices...... to know my world is right side up... and they are there... helping me to process the colours and the sounds and the fragmented memories. Slowly it all takes shape ...... and makes sense.........
The colour of the day is black and blue..... and the number is 5