being there

It is dark in the room, the music envelops my mind and body with its rhythm and beat, my clothes are opened and my body laid bare. I am waiting. My heart beats a frantic quick tattoo inside my chest. My palms sweat. My breathing is soft and quiet. I am here. I am ready.

And it begins.

I am so ready for the beginning......... for the strike that will start me on a journey no one else can take for me. A journey very few can understand - or even imagine.

There is pain - sharp intense burning pain. For the first little while I stamp my foot, I curse and swear. But I don't stop it... I don't even ask for it to slow down. My mind is screaming for more, faster, harder, more more more.. get me there.. get me there NOW!

And I feel it coming - I see it coming. Like a huge tsunami rushing towards my body, lifting me higher and higher ......... pushing me forward faster and faster, I can figuratively and literally feel my body lift off the ground and soar ...... higher higher.. take me higher - please take me higher, show me what I have never seen before....... take me there...........

Now there is no separation ......... only one ....... one with the pounding music, one with the pain...... one with you who has given me this precious gift. I am there and I want to stay there for as long as possible.

There is where I am free. There is where I float and swirl and dance and play. There is where I have - forever I think - longed to be. And YOU have taken me there. YOU have given me a gift so precious there are no words......... only joy...... only bliss....... only peace.