i have been thinking just recently about how many submissives have no idea about the service side of BDSM... it was just kind of a thought floating around in the back of my mind......
Then i read swan's post and thought to myself.... yes yes yes.. she is so right.. there is duty and honour and obedience in this lifestyle. And once again i thought about writing something on service.......
Yesterday, i read kitten's post on her service to her Master and thought ok that's it.. time to write my opinion on the service side of BDSM.
My absolute favourite place - when i was in training - was kneeling at Sir's feet listening to His words....... learning from Him....... learning what pleased Him.. what He expected. AND i worked hard to teach myself as much as possible by researching on line.. talking to other submissives.... and watching. i will admit i was proactive, i did not expect Sir to fill me up .. like an empty cup. i wanted to come to Him with questions and thoughts and listen to His opinions..... learn and learn some more.
Over my life in the community i have learned a lot of different things.. most recently.... i have learned the difference between tops,bottoms, Dominants, submissives/slaves.. i have learned there are people who are only interested in spanking and being spanked.. i have learned about Domestic Discipline. Like a child i tended to think that the world was all about "my" form of BDSM...
"My" form of BDSM - well i should say truthfully Sir's form of BDSM is one that involves service. Service comes in many shapes and sizes and forms.
The most common definition - the one that pops into people's mind when they hear the term "service" is sex.... you know.. "the service me girl" command. kitten said it well i thought.. when she said that would be an easy service task....... there are more difficult ones.
Service includes so many different facets........ personally i am trained / know
to serve High Tea,
to perform an Oriental Tea Ceremony
to serve a Formal High Protocol BDSM dinner.
to serve with my deportment (dress and mannerisms)
to serve with my voice
those are the things that make up our life together... Sir's and mine.
When i am in full service mode.. full protocol and ritual mode........... i find myself digging deep within myself.. going to a quiet place.. where all my concentration is on the service or the serving... on being pleasing.. on being the best i can be .. a reflection of Sir.. because i am HIS property.
It centers me to be in full blown service mode.... i walk quietly behind Him.. His glass is never empty.. He speaks to me more through hand signals than with words.. we are both very tuned into each other. It is as though the rest of the world is wispy and dreamy and the only main character - the only person not ghosted so to speak - is Sir.
Those are the times that i am at my most graceful, my most obedient, my most submissive. Those times remind me most of my inner geisha.
Those are the times - when they are finished - that i am the most spent, the most sated, the most pleased.
Even day to day service which is not as high protocol or ritualistic still fills me. If it is nothing more than opening the door and allowing Sir to go through first....... waiting for permission to enter a room... kneeling at His feet and waiting for permission to speak my mind or to question....... making sure each meal prepared for Him is something He enjoys, is set before Him in a timely fashion.... is a pleasure to look at - as well as to taste. Washing His clothes and ironing them, cleaning the condo .. changing the bed linens.. everything takes on a new meaning when it is done in service to someone else.
And if you notice........not once in the above did i mention spankings, or floggings, or sessions, or sex. They too are service .. if Sir wishes it to happen........ and sometimes even when He doesn't feel up to it totally, i will receive what i need .. for as much as i service Him .. He knows my needs as well - sometimes better - than i do.
i am finding it more and more difficult to see the new submissives coming onto the scene with no idea.......none whatsoever .... of what service means. It makes my blood boil when they whine and carry on because they are asked to learn more about service. Their attitude is YOU want me to learn then YOU teach me.. YOU do the work!! and when YOU are finished - remember i am here because i want a spanking !!!
Their attitude is all about me me me !! They are defining the "me generation". i am finding there is no duty to their submissiveness .. there is no obedience to their submissiveness.. there is no honour to their submissiveness. It is a selfish gimme gimme submissiveness...... and it has no place in my world.
Some words of advice to newbies......... teach yourself.. research.. come to a relationship with some idea .. some IDEA.. of what it means to be submissive......... don't march in with demands and won't do's and will do's and must have's and expect me to respect you........ because it ain't gonna happen.
As much as you will not be experiencing the level of pain that i experience... nor will you experience the same level of service......... but at least KNOW what service is !!! i earned my stripes the hard way......... so should you......
Slave registration Number 843055