Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Different hats....(edited)

To protect the safety of the inhabitants of this lil corner of the world they have decided to clean the snow and ice off our roofs........

i was relieved and delighted..... there have been a couple of buildings that have imploded this past week here in the Great White North....... some of our schools have been evacuated because of the weight of the snow on the roofs.......

So knowing my roof would be cleared of the weight of all that snow and ice was a relief........ they should have done it while i was at work. This has been the worst 2 hours of my life. The cleaners sound as though they are gonna fall through the roof into my house. The snow and ice bounces (who knew it would bounce??!!) and hits the glass doors and windows. i have been holding my breath and pacing. Soooo what better way to get my mind off the growing pile of snow and ice outside my doors than to sit down and take one of the questions and write............

Question #1 (and they are in no specific order)

What % of your life is spent living in the BDSM world and what % of your life is spent living basically the same life as those not into BDSM?



First of all i have to say i HATE math..... i hate percentages and have absolutely no clue what percentage of my life is spent doing anything..... i just do it.. i wear a lot of 'hats'........ But i believe the submissive hat is always firmly planted on my head.... the other hats just kinda slide over the top........

I spend over 40 hours a week working as in earning a salary. i cook and clean and do laundry and shop and budget and pay the bills in my 'free' time. i am a mother and a granny with all the responsibilities that come with those hats.

BUT during all the vanilla times there are little things that keep me bound to Sir.. keep me focused. According to Sir's wishes i never wear underpants to work.... which of course means i also never wear a dress (cheeky grin)......when i am home - even alone - i never wear anything more than a sweat shirt (in the winter) and a tshirt in the summer..... when i want to buy something (over and above the groceries and necessities) i text message Sir and ask for permission.... (most of the time - i do sometimes get caught up in a sale and forget the text message) .... when i come home from work i always text message Sir and tell Him i am home..... if i am on holidays and wish to go out.. i text message Sir and tell Him where i wish to go and why.... and wait for permission to do so.......

Friday to Sunday are the intense BDSM times - the whips and floggers and needles and toys times...... But you do the math.... you work out the percentages.... in my mind.. in my life i am submissive 24/7 .......... all the rest is just stuff i do to fit in to the other world.........

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Added early the next morning.........

i was thinking about this post - this answer to the question - and i realized i left out so many other ways Sir controls my life even when we are not together.. the nightly conversations at 8pm... the morning journals........... and i realized that my submissive side really can not be separated from my vanilla life.... what i do to stay connected to Sir.. what i do that is BDSM related is so ingrained in me now i don't even "see" it......... And so you will have to forgive me for not finding all the little things that happen during the vanilla times that make vanilla a small percentage and make BDSM bigger.........

And all of that is not to say that i don't have an opinion.. that i don't voice that opinion.. that i don't get cross sometimes at Sir.. at situations.. because i do... i am not a doormat and i am most definitely NOT an eloquent graceful slave...... i am human with all the foibles that come with it.......

i have seen others (specifically drakor) smile behind his hand when i stand up to Sir.. and i can see the wheels turning in their heads as they think "she is not submissive - or not a good submissive" BUT this is not a game.. it is not something Sir and i play at once or twice a week........... it is our life...... the way we do things... i do not kneel or grovel at His feet all the time...... that is for intense weekends - or play parties - doing this full time 24/7 means finding ways to connect when Sir is not here.. finding our own way with what works for us....... we live BDSM we do not play at it.

ok - honestly i now think i am done with this question !!! (i hope i am now done with this question) Of course if there are more questions stemming from this post i will answer those too..........

2 comments:

Buffalo said...

Interesting. More questions to follow.

drakor66 said...

LOL well I do not judge yours or anyone else in the lifestyle as to what degree any one is , I only judge myself . As for my smile behind my hand just waiting for the kapow!!!!!!!


A question for you. Have you given up a hard limit that you are happy you did? Why did you give it up?