Monday, January 15, 2007


The other day i was reading one of the submissive blogs and found that she had asked a whole mess of questions... i rather enjoyed answering them for her - briefly - and also asked if i could use her questions as a jumping off point for some of my blog entries - to which she agreed - thank you mian

So without further ado......... Today's question is: Can one be a slave and not be physically 24/7...not live together etc..... Can one be owned and not be a slave? Not be 24/7?

For the purpose of this 'discussion' i am going to clump slave and submissive together.. mainly because i struggle with the two terms... and Sir and i do not agree on the differences.......(if you are interested .. i believe a slave is higher than a submissive on the ladder of BDSM - Sir does not agree. i would love to be able to call myself slave.. but i have not yet - in my opinion - reached the level of commitment / obedience / whatever that i see in slaves.... (again Sir does not agree with me )

To answer the first part of the question.. i would say yes!! one can be a slave and not live 24/7 with their Master....... however i would think that there would have to be some sort of connection between them during the times they are apart. Daily email journals.. or daily chats on line..perhaps even tasks to be completed daily so that the slave feels she is being used .. and useful. As i have said before...... Sir and i do not (because of life commitments) live together Monday - Thursday. This in no way makes me any less of a submissive than someone who lives 24/7 - at least not in my opinion. There are a lot of times that it is harder to follow the routines / protocols whatever you wish to call them..... when one's Master is not living with them. It takes a lot of inner strength to continue to toe the line when Sir is not here to make sure i do.. or reprimand me when i forget.. which is why i have so many knee jerk reactions - BUT i am working on it!!

Now the second part of the question.. can one be owned and not be a slave - not be 24/7. This one forces me to state a definition of slave and submissive. And i do believe that 'mian' sees the two much the same way i do.

A slave to me is totally and completely owned. Any work they do (outside the home) is done only with the Master's blessing.. if He says no work they don't work. If they do work - any and all monies earned are turned over to the Master. The slave buys nothing for themself.. The slave makes no decisions for themselves - not even to the food they eat. All responsibilities for every day life are taken care of by the Master. The slave is only there to please the Master.. to fulfill His wishes/desires. If this person was owned.. and fulfilled those requirements and more then i would say they would be slave........ even if they weren't living 24/7 with their Master.

i would add a little more to the question.. can one be a submissive / slave and not be owned?? and my answer would be yes. At least for me....... i am submissive by nature and nurture (again something i have said many times before) ... There have been times in my life where i wasn't owned... but i was still very much submissive in my heart. During those times i was frequently stressed and unhappy.. and very unfocused, but i was still submissive. i live for the anchor of the collar.. of knowing who it is i am to please before anyone else.

And thus ends today's discussion.
(edited later in the evening.......... Sir says i sound like a preacher ending my blog this way... i will end all further discussions on BDSM by saying something along the lines of "getting off my soap box " which beats Sir's suggestion of "Go my children and play safe"...)


today was day 6 and i did 20 minutes of non pretzel yoga..... before i went off to do it.. i was thinking how much i enjoyed having 2 days off from exercising this weekend. AND .. (i know i am gonna live to regret this........ BUT !!!) i was thinking how...IF Sir wanted to punish me for some infraction.. an added day of exercise on the weekends would work wonders....


Buffalo said...

Truly interesting.

Anonymous said...

First, let me say that i thoroughly enjoy your blog. It's wonderfully done and a treat and pleasure that i eagerly consume! Thank you. I too work with challenged kids, primarily Aspergers Syndrome.

Anyhooo ... with respect to the difference between a slave and a submissive. The difference between a slave and submissive? A submissive must RE-submit with each act. A slave submits ONCE.

So my opinion on the other question? i'm not sure i believe a slave can live apart from her Master, but i do believe a submissive can. The reason is tied to the difference between a slave and a submissive.


littleone said...

susan's post above was emailed to me... but i thought that what she had to say was of importance for anyone who reads here.. so i did a little cut and paste job.


i am submissive and i do not re-submit each time Sir is here with me.. and i do not have a safe word (another thing people tend to use to differentiate between slave and sub)
nor do i have re-negotiate each time we have session......

And i am curious why you think that a slave cannot remain submitted /committed to her Master if they don't live together?? why do you think anyone .. sub or slave.. would have to 're-submit' each time they are together?? don't you believe that the bond would be strong enough to withstand a separation??

just curious.. and i am sorry you had such trouble posting to The Journey.. i do believe blogger is having issues...

Anonymous said...

isnt blogger always having issues? lol Thank you so much for this post. i love hearing other opinions..other points of view. TYTYTYTY...


PS i'm with you hun...."Go my children and play safe...." PFFFT...LOL not so much!!!!

Anonymous said...


i'll try to reply here, and if i'm unsuccessful, i'll mail to you again, since you said it was alright.

Wellll ... to be honest, lol, i was taught that a slave submits once, total control a gift to her Master, and that a submissive submits each time, as her submission is more transitory. i personally feel slave is a pinacle(sp) to be attained through time and trust. To date, i have yet to find another human being i trust with that completeness. Not so much in the physical use of myself, but in the guiding and nurturing and protecting of spirit and soul.

While a lot of folks begin relationships on line, eye to eye is so ... well surely you know! The lift of that eyebrow, the narrowing of the eyes, upward turn of the mouth, i could go on, but i think you understand? To me, submissive would be easy to sustain long distance, but slave, no. So much of what is said is expressed through the communion of souls.

Well, surely i've rambled enough! Thanks again for sharing yourself, and also for posting my comments, here i go to see if this one will post, lol.


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