Response To Taxi Driver...(long)

Taxi Driver asked:
Could you talk about being made to cum in the middle of a beating.

Something i learned a long time ago was that i could be made to cum just from the crop being used rhythmically against my clit.. with just the right heaviness..not too heavy .. not too light.. the most embarassing moment of my subbie life with Sir was one night at a friend's - with lots of light BDSM activity going on.. Sir wanted to demonstrate my ability to cum with only the crop .. He had me (i was naked at the time) lie on the floor on my back with my pink private bits facing Him and bend my knees up so that i was open and exposed to Him. Then with the other Dom sitting beside Him watching everything (it still makes me blush to think about it) Sir proceeded to crop my pink private bits.. and yes i came... and yes i was terribly embarassed. Another time Sir and i were playing downstairs with another couple.. The Dom said afterwards to me that i made the most "interesting" sounds when i was being beaten... i could feel the blushes coming again.. i KNEW what He was referring to.. it had been a very sensous night of beatings.. and i was very close to cumming - in fact Sir allowed me to cum a couple of times just from the floggings....

All of that is to say that i am a masochist and it turns me on to be beaten.. BUT the session has to be sensous.. it has to be about me.... When Sir does the usual session - fast and hard and with every intention of putting me out there with my fairies i do NOT cum just from the floggers or the crop or the whip........ it takes more.. It takes Sir's fingers sliding between my legs.. sliding into me.. finding that spot.. that special spot and rubbing it... Sometimes it gets very confusing.. i am enjoying the pain.. and almost "there" and He stops to play with me and sometimes i pout.. i am rarely allowed to cum with the first fingers playing.. usually - most times - Sir will do it 2 or 3 times.. bring me just to climax then pull out fast and rough and hard.. teaching me that He controls the orgasms not me!! Usually Sir has managed to stroke my wetness enough to have it running down my legs - filling the room with my musky scent. That in itself is enough to drive me deeper into myself. And Sir loves to wipe His wet hands across my ass so that it is soaking wet before He picks up the flogger again....... do you have any idea how much more it hurts to be hit on wet skin??!!

My orgasm is usually the last thing that happens.. usually! Sometimes Sir will give me a couple more minutes of floggings / whippings before He takes me down.. but usually that signals the end.. Orgasm is another BIG activator of endorphins.. which just explains why ... on the nights that Sir plays with me sexually as well that i fly higher than usual.

Taxi Driver also asked:
Also talk about rewards and positive reinforcement.

This is a good topic.. because it makes me stop and think.......... rewards and positive reinforcement shouldn't be something that one "sees" clearly.. they should be a woven thread into the tapestry of life.. and blend in with the daily routines...

Yes Sir uses them... the most obvious reward is a good session.....perhaps indulging some private desire i have. A good example is once a few years back .. Sir wished to hold a "lock down party" at a club.. (that is where only invited guests come.. and a time is set for the doors to be locked and if you aren't there by that time too bad so sad! the doors are locked) i worked hard organising this event.. from inviting the guests to organising the pot luck meal .. to making sure the club was spotlessly clean and ready for us. When we are hosting a party i seldom if ever have a session with Sir.... the equipment - the time is set aside for our guests.. my duty is to make sure that the everything runs smoothly and everyone has whatever it is they need...
Well just as this party was winding down....... Sir took me up to one piece of equipment and strung me up.. He laid out the toys carefully.. and He warmed me up.. the play area was set a little bit above the rest of the club.. sort of on a low stage.. everyone was sitting at the tables talking and winding down........... After Sir had warmed me up nicely.. He made a little speech.. something about how hard i had worked to make the party happen...... and how proud He was of the job i had done........ and then He invited anyone who wished to thank me to come up and select one of my toys and use it on me. i don't remember how many took Him up on His offer.. i don't remember too much of what happened after that actually.. i do remember it took me a whole lot longer to dismantle the party than it did to set it up.. (cheeky grin) That was a wonderful "reward" for me.. as i have always had this secret (well not so secret now) desire to be spanked/flogged / whipped by many Dominants and switches - more so that i can experience how others do it.. and more to see if i can take it !!

As for positive reinforcements........ mostly they come from within myself.. just knowing i am doing a good job of serving Sir ... From time to time Sir will snuggle into my ear and whisper "I am proud of you" or "you did a good job" and my heart swells and makes all the work or pain or whatever worth it! positive reinforcements are for me quiet words spoken from the heart to the heart.

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day 9 - i needed to refocus myself tonite.. not much energy left.. so i did 20 minutes of non pretzel yoga

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i have posted to my photojournal...... see link at the right.