i have always had a little problem with people teaching others.......... maybe and probably because i am a teacher... but i wonder what made these people experts on the subject.. who trained them?? did they learn off the net? did they learn by trial and error?? what makes them a teacher of said subject??
i know that bit sounded a tad disdainful and i most certainly don't mean to put anyone down who tries to educate the newbies.. and the lurkers and the wannabes and anyone else interested... heaven's !! Sir and i have taken a course or two in our time together... it's just i have always wondered who decides who is teacher/Master or whatever in a community that still hides in the shadows???
However that isn't really what i want to discuss this morning....... BUT it is commonly taught in BDSM 101 .. that when one is having a session with a submissive the first rule is.. WARM UP. It is clearly declared a big NO ! NO! if you just tie up the submissive and go at her (or him) with no warm up. that is definitely a foul - not nice - play fair. Another biggy is a thing called wrap around... that is when the whip or the flogger happens to wrap around the body catching unsuspecting body parts in the front of the body....... another big NO NO!! another foul!! not nice - play fair.
Now here is my reality......... Sir plays any way He sees fit. Last night is a good case in point. We hadn't played hard for a very long time.. i was more than a little nervous about facing the wall of toys and the cross... Sir wasn't the least bit worried (hell why should He have been - He wasn't gonna be on the receiving end!!) Now it would have been nice if Sir had taken that class on warm ups being a necessity.. but i do believe He skipped that class........ cause last night the first toy Sir took down off the wall - right after He strung me up to the cross - was the "sting of a 1000 bees" flogger.
AND trust me folks when i say i was hopping from foot to foot crying (more like blubbering) and praying to the BDSM gods that He would tire of that toy pretty damn fast !!! He didn't but i prayed!) There was the whip that wrapped around my hip and caught my pretty pink bits rather nastily.. and the wooden sword thingy that left me with an ass that was as hard as the wood that sword was made out of.......
AND all of this was done on an ass that the night before Sir had cut up with His new knives...
Can i say OUCH??!!!! twice over.
But you know what folks?? Sir played with me hard for over an hour.. He fucked me and didn't let me cum.. and played some more.... and finally i was allowed to cum and He took me down off the cross and i was so far out there floating around with my fairies that i don't remember much of anything till this morning. Am i a happy lil subbie?? You betcha !! did i scream foul?? nope!! Was this exactly what i wanted and needed despite all those expert's warnings and teachings?? You betcha !!!
The point i think i am trying to make is......... that there is a lot of 'stuff' on the net about how to play.. how to be a BDSMer...... how to do it all safely.. SSC or R.A.C.K. or whatever else you wanna call it... but the truth of the matter is.......... it is only important that what happens between you and your partner is what you both want to have happen........... and when the toys are back on the wall..and the ropes and chains put to bed for the night and the lights are turned off..that your Dom takes you in His arms.. holds you tight.. whispers in your ear .. kisses your hair softly and brings you back down to earth with a soft bump on lots of fairy dust.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and for those keeping track - i stopped at day 5 - weekends will be my free time.. monday will be day 6
There was a class for warm-ups??? Darn, and I missed it, what a shame.... KNOT !!!
ReplyDeleteSir,
Owner of morningstar
But isn't it said that those that can't do - teach?
ReplyDeleteActually, Master DID do lots of classes and DID train with some of the best folks around over the years. Learning from others can be a good thing... He studied cutting with Deborah Addington (blech) before He tried the real thing on me -- a fact that I am very grateful for; and then we got additional advice from another very experienced BDSM practioner on how to encourage the scarring to form...
ReplyDeleteToo, He studied and learned a lot about using the singletail whip with Bob Deegan. Bob is a remarkably talented and funny (and in my opinion) expert with the singletail. Plus, he is a pure joy to watch -- art in motion.
Actually, part of our coming together in the first place was that my husband and I had approached Master and T to "teach" us how to do BDSM. As I recall, He was quite specific about that whole business of "warm up." I've since discovered, that He teaches it and espouses it... for OTHER PEOPLE. Shrug.
swan
Buffal0 - (sticking my tongue out atcha cheekily) yes there is!! which is why i teach?? LOL...
ReplyDeleteswan - please understand - i never intended to put down those that do teach...... it just worries me sometimes where these "teachers" get the (i don't know what to call it) training to become teachers... some i have experienced are careless and worry me greatly..... others like Midori held my interest.. gained my respect and i became an avid supporter! My concerns are just a little - i don't know - warning about who you learn from??
and you made me laugh over the warm up that your Master is so specific about.. so is Sir when talking to newbees... LOL.. just doesn't apply to me ...
Normally I like a warm up, but there are times when I not only want, but NEED to skip that part. As you said, whatever works for you. :0)
ReplyDeleteWarm up is a good rule of thumb when you're new... or your bottom is new... When you're still testing the waters and trying to explore what this whole pleasure/pain connection is about. I know that, after significant warm up, even the more vicious blows do not register as painful in my mind. You know, subspace and all that. And that's what I think the purpose of warm up is, to induce that altered state of mind that acts as anesthestic and transforms the sensations.
ReplyDeleteBut, when you are out there for M/s reinforcement, rather than just S/m sensation play, anesthetic just might not be relevant to the scene.
Anyway, I think that the purpose of the scene and the state of mind of the players answers the warm up or no warm up question better than anything else. The purpose of the scene you described was for you to submit, him to enjoy his toy, and the two of you to reconnect. Sounds like mission accomplished to me.
xxx
zita - your point was well made.. and YES it was mission accomplished !! and i have been smiling every since...
ReplyDeleteI read this blog with great interest. I understand where you are coming from about the qualifications of those who teach BDSM classes. You have to commend them for wanting to educate and you hope that they really do know what they are doing. However, it could also be that they are not that good and are simply passing on poor information.
ReplyDeleteAbout the whole warm up thing? And hitting the bits by accident? I understand that you and Sir have been together quite some time. You have built up a net of trust and caring. However, with a newer relationship or simply a new or occasional play scene partner, it does seem like a very good practice.
But as always, I appreciate everything you write.
Paula