i do not DO New Year's resolutions... i used to.. but who needs more stress in their lives.. by day 3 or 4 i had usually broken 90% of my resolutions and felt like i was 100% a failure.. It never occurred to me that i could start all over again on day 5 or 6 or 10 or 32 .. never occurred to me..... so i gave up doing New Year's resolutions (there are enough things in this life to make one feel like a failure - i honestly didn't need to add more reasons)
i saw the doctor last week......... she explained why i had been feeling "poorly" for the last month.. no i wasn't dying... my meds just needed to be tweaked ......... again. My meds have been tweaked so many times in the last 3 years i am beginning to wonder if they will ever get it figured out...... but each time she tweaks my meds i believe .. i hope.. this is THE time it will work. This is day 5 of my tweaked meds... i think i am feeling better. i am almost afraid to say i am feeling better cause it might jinx it.. but i do have a little more energy..everyone say "Hallelujah!"
On the weekend in Vermont.. Sir took me to Barnes and Nobles - my all time favourite bookstore.. mind you most bookstores are my favourite .. i love books. While we were there i found a book on health.. and in it there was a section on yoga. i used to do yoga.. it was....once upon a time.. one of my New Year's resolutions. So you know what happened to my yoga. This book had easier than easy yoga exercises.. yoga done on a stool. Yoga that didn't require tying yourself into impossible pretzel shapes that left one's joints aching for days. This held possiblities...
Today i was thinking about my treadmill.. and these yoga exercises.. and my new portable DVD player... and i had a revelation. Not a major one.. just one of those teeny tiny sparks of light. i thought to myself.. i could maybe possibly go home and put a DVD in the DVD player and climb aboard my treadmill and go for a little walk. OR maybe even pull out the yoga exercises and the stool and try them. i didn't promise myself anything... i didn't threaten myself.. i just thought about it.
When i got home i took down the outdoor lights and decorations and packed them away. i came upstairs and sat down here on blogger and thought about doing an entry. Then i thought about my treadmill and my Robin Williams DVD ( i LOVE Robin Williams!!) Then i got up and went and found Robin Williams and asked him if he would like to come and entertain me while i went for a little walk on day 1.
Twenty minutes of laughter and sweating. i turned off the machine and came back upstairs. Ok i thought to myself.. day 1... maybe tomorrow i will pull out the stool and try those yoga exercises for day 2... maybe........who knows.. but it is NOT a New Year's resolution or anything like that.. i don't DO New Year's resolutions.