Wednesday, January 17, 2018
From foggy glasses to merry go rounds --
CAS (youth protection) came to visit the other day. Not because of us -- but because there is a judgement against the mother..... she can only have supervised visits (supervised by her parents)
When he got around to visiting with the lil one in her room -- the surprise in his voice when he saw the pictures on the walls and the toys was obvious. It was obvious that he had been fed a line by the mother.... poor lil child -- wicked step mother and father -- getting rid of all her toys and pictures (memories) of her mother. Yeah well there is a whole huge collage on her wall of her mother and grandparents with her!! The walls are filled with pictures given to her by her mother ...........AND her room is full of toys.
This CAS worker asked a million questions -- I gave him the documentation from last summer -- and pointed out that as some people rely on innuendos -- the documentation he had in his hands could be verified by witnesses! (see my small stamp of my foot)
He diplomatically and politely -- directly and indirectly -- kept trying to get us to agree to unsupervised visits. He asked Sir Steve what worried him most about this....... Sir Steve said he was worried mother would leave the country with the lil one. The 'brilliant' CAS worker suggested we get a court order that would not allow her to take the child out of the country -- I pointed out to him quite firmly that it was a law ! for god's sakes!! and we didn't need a court order -- AND he knew as well as we did that children were still being abducted by parents and guardians and taken out of the country -- dear god -- don't waste your breath and time trying to sweep that under the rug !!
He ran on at the mouth about how mother could very well have improved her parenting skills........... I pointed out there was no way we could know that for a fact -- anymore than she could know if there were pictures and toys in the lil one's room!
He ran on at the mouth about improving communication between father and mother -- ignoring the fact that mother has all but shut down communications.
He ran on at the mouth about this all being about the lil one....... really??? REALLY??!! us worrying about her safety is not about the lil one???!!!
And I kept getting this image -- it was foggy and I couldn't see it clearly........ it was really bothering me -- I knew it was there -- just over there........ but what WAS it??
This judgement was supposed to be reviewed and settled within a year -- it is now 18 months. My gut tells me this case has been put in his pile of cases and he's been told to get it closed.
My gut tells me closed really means lifting the supervised visits. Otherwise every year it will have to be reviewed again -- sort of like parole cases ya know........ and every year we are gonna have to fight to keep the judgement.
AND in my gut I think there is no point in fighting this judgement -- the only way the court and CAS are gonna see the truth is (god forbid!!) the lil one is badly hurt.
And now I am on a merry go round -- flying past the image -- catching glimpses of it -- only glimpses......... and feeling my stomach knot with every whirl past.
The best I can do -- whatever the court and CAS and Sir Steve decide to do -- is teach the lil one her father's cell number -- her campsite number -- her address -- and some street sense....... and do it quickly before the baby bird is pushed out of the safety of the nest to fly.............
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
I have been searching and searching for some sort of reason -- some sort of logic -- in all of this......... I feel like it is just there ya know -- right in front of me -- but I can't see it clearly -- it's like looking ahead through dirty foggy glasses.........
It's frustrating ya know...........
Saturday, January 13, 2018
After two weeks of frigid temperatures and I do mean FRIGID -- we had a spring thaw for the last two days -- by last evening the snow was all but gone -- we had green grass again -- it was raining and mild!! But the weather man had said it would change over night -- we'd get snow and more snow..... up to 30 cms (about 11 inches) of the white stuff before this latest winter episode is over.
He didn't lie -- this is what I woke up to this morning..........
It's almost pretty -- and it's Saturday so we don't have to slog through it to go anywhere....... the lil one is safely ensconced at her mother's and we have no plans .... so all is good.
Let it snow let it snow let it snow.
Our court date is this Thursday. Deep down inside I believe it will just be postponed again. Yet yesterday Sir Steve got a call from CAS (child protection). They want to come and visit with the lil one and him this week and sort out mother having the supervised visits lifted.
It got me thinking..... remembering..... is she really ready to take over supervising the lil one??? Because she lives with her mom and dad -- mostly she is supervised. BUT then I remembered this summer at the campground -- with her parents there -- and how often she had no idea where the lil one was (like the day the lil one was down at the beach unsupervised) or the number of times the mother couldn't get the lil one into a shower -- or when there was the nose bleed incident and they sent for Sir Steve to handle it. No hats on hot sunny days -- no sun block --- she's careless and I hate to say it but an indifferent mom.
The icing on the cake for me was when Sir Steve phoned her yesterday to tell her about the trip to Emerg ... about the inhaler and the chamber that must be used every 4 hours. He asked if she knew how to use them -- she said no but not to worry her mother would do it. Sir Steve tried to explain to her how to do it -- but in my opinion she probably wasn't listening -- cause 'mommy' will do it. So how can an indifferent mother be given free visits without supervision??? if something goes wrong it is the lil one who will suffer .....this can't be trial and error.... it scares me just a little ya know?
But for today we have snow to shovel -- and snuggling to do........ supervised visits and court cases can wait till Monday ............