zen

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Friday, January 30, 2015

State of the Union






Nah not THE state of the union - but the state of OUR union...............

I was thinking last night how things have changed around here... settled down into a comfortable rhythm ........... peek in our window and you would think this was/is a normal vanilla home.

At first I found that very hard to adjust to.......... at first I blamed myself.... at first I thought our union was over............ 

Now not so much.

I still, from time to time, long for the connection of kink that we had...but that's been slowly dwindling down to soft embers for a long time.  

I saw him play with two different women on New Year's eve - saw that gleam in his eye - heard the wicked chuckle - and I knew we would never have that ever again - cause that comes from being "new" .... from the excitement of playing with someone new.  I have watched him tease and mind fuck and talk with one of the newbies off in a corner at munches..... I see what we used to have.

I thought it would hurt more than it does... thought I would get all green eyed jealous - but nah not so much.

He has a blog - mostly secret - not something he talks about or advertises but it's there for the finding.  I check it out occasionally.  I see the kinks he likes. I see the younger women - I see the things that turn him on and know that never in a million years could I be that woman in the picture - sometimes that makes me sad.  But it is what it is - right?

Maybe what we need is to be poly? Maybe I need a Top that will beat my ass - tease me and mind fuck me and maybe even fuck me. Maybe we need play partners - and when the play is over come home to each other... to the comfortableness that is now us.

It's no one's fault this change in our state of our union.  It just happened... slowly over time.  Time eroding the excitement....... the challenge ...the desire.

BUT I still love this man - still wear his collar and his slave ring.......... and hopefully will till the day I die.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Two Things........

First --  I don't know if anyone reads the blog "Submitting Again" .... I went to read her latest installment the other day and it was GONE... poof gone.  I think it is weird as she had just posted a new entry ......... anyway - if anyone knows what happened if you could let me know ...... I do worry when folks just go poof in the night.


Second -- I had a new challenge for the Photo group I belong to.... "see through" It could be interpreted anyway you wanted..... here are my submissions............




then I edited this one to add another element of "see through"
 
 
Everyone else was braving the -30 temperatures to take spectacular pictures of the frozen landscape..... I was not brave and took this one.............


 and then - being me - I had to find something that no one else would think of doing.....a quick trip to the dollar store to buy a magnifying glass et voila.............




and then a little photo editing to jazz it up a bit........


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

In Disguise


I have been struggling for a few days now over a "friend request" on FetLife.  Yeah I know that's hardly worth worrying over........ but I need to work this out... (and probably try and explain it to my Sir who - I am sure - doesn't get my fixation over this issue)

When I get friend requests from folks I do not know - even after I have checked their profiles.. I always send a polite email saying something along the lines of "have we met somewhere?? "  This time when this "Kingstonmunch" account got my email - I got a rather snarky answer back that said - in my words - 'fuck off you don't need to know who I am.'

So I didn't friend them.

BUT 

it bugged me.  The profile said they were only in existence to organize munches in our fair city.  HUH??? We have munches/coffee and sloshes almost every week.  If we broaden our traveling time you have a munch every single weekend.  Why do we need yet another munch??? (AND don't try feeding me the line 'well it is a munch with no politics or drama" --  really NO drama??!!  really!)

But the bigger question was "why did they feel the need to hide their real identity?"  Huh why??!!!

If I wanted to organize an event - I would just create an event - let's say a movie outting to see 50 Shades of Grey.  I would say something to the effect of "I am going to see 50 Shades on such and such a day - who wants to join me?? Perhaps we can do coffee afterwards to critique the movie".

That's what I would do. 

But then I have nothing to hide.

Sock accounts always lead me to believe someone has something to hide.  Why would I friend such a person .......... and why in God's name would I go to any event planned by someone who is hiding in the shadows?!!

Well that's where my thought processes had gotten me to until yesterday, when I started getting emails and text messages from folks asking if I knew this "Kingstonmunch" person.  Turns out there were a few more folks who had sent off emails asking "who are you and have we met" and got met with the same snarky "fuck off" answer. (how to win friends and influence people right?)

Then last evening I spoke out publicly on a couple of groups where there were discussions about this KM person. I asked politely "who is the person behind that sock account?" 

I should have seen it coming - but I didn't.  One of the group owners tore me  a new one.  Told me I could NOT post my opinion on their group - could NOT insist someone tell me who they were.  (which I guess is quite correct - I can not force someone to tell me who they are)  So I removed myself from that group (that claims to welcome everyone and their opinions) and shrugged it off.

But I can't help but wonder why this person needs to hide ............. what are they hiding? especially in a community that is supposed to build relationships based on trust.   And how come there are only a few of us that are questioning this odd behaviour (for lack of a better term) It amazes me how many "lemmings" are joining up to friend a sock puppet............. it really does make me go "ummmmmmm?!"

Monday, January 26, 2015

Day 5 of the 5 day Challenge

Here are the last submissions for the 5 day Challenge.............

"I can see clearly now.................."




 animal tracks in the morning sunshine




 Ice Cold 





Sunday, January 25, 2015