zen

zen

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

It Happened

After all my years blogging - and leaving comments on other blogs it finally happened......

I got blindsided by some little twerp who told me 
"And for morningstar, the key is that 24/7 naked in chains sexy time CANNOT be maintained, but 24/7 being a slave CAN. It just means that a lot of the time it seems rather ordinary on the surface."

jesus joseph and mary!!! 

quite obviously this lil slave does not read here - does not know me.........and truthfully I should just let it go... but dammit she made me angry ... I have never EVER wanted only the sexy 50 Shades of Grey BDSM...... EVER!  What I am living through right now is not even close to ordinary .............. it is a messy screwed up pile of emotions on both sides................

I just want to slap her - and that is so not me .......... honest true it isn't........... and at this point in my life you'd think I would know better than to respond (on any level) to some smart mouthed - holy than thou slave who believes there is only one TRUE way to do this .................. grrrrrrrrr............ 

I have been in this lifestyle for going on 30 years now...... I am LONG past the sexy in chains fantasy ............. I would love to see her keep on trucking if her Master told her He didn't get any pleasure from her anymore - if her Master didn't validate her service - didn't even notice it anymore... wonder how long she could hang on doing the service only thing before developing a little angst........

She doesn't read here (at least I doubt very much she does) but if she did .......  I have one last thing to say to her...............





(and now I will put away my soap box - bury the hurt feelings - and go to the gym and work out my anger)



    

Monday, September 15, 2014

Ray of Sunshine






It's been difficult to try and explain with words what life has been like around here...

One of the reasons being, I couldn't figure out what was wrong - other than feeling very lost - not anchored or steady or having any direction..........

Then one day recently - we laughed together and joked -- and I realized that my spirit lifted........... 

Laughter and joking and joy had taken a holiday from our lives and it was dark and dreary and just a little bit scary.

It didn't stay for long - just a brief ray of sunshine ......... but it was enough to make me realize what was missing....... and to give me hope that maybe one day soon - the laughter and the joking and the joy will return.

The other stuff will come later - I hope.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Thursday, September 11, 2014

X-Rated

or - How I made my photography teacher speechless.............



I know a few of you have asked me to post some of my pictures again... BUT this summer, any pictures I took just lacked "passion" - I lacked passion when taking pictures.......... 

For my class on Tuesday night I had to bring 3 of my favourite pictures.

I went back in my files and found the clown face pic... the red door through the gate pic and a picture of my lilies from this summer.  I took loads of flower pics this summer but they were ho hum pictures - just flowers - nothing spectacular....... 

But there was this one picture of the lilies... I had popped my macro lens on and took the lily from the side........ the stamen was amazing!!  So I popped that picture onto the memory stick and took them to class.

The first picture was the red door and the teacher was quite chatty about the colours - the angle - the all over composition and lighting.  Next was the clown picture and  everyone was wowed (well it is quite dramatic)..........

And then up came my lily picture.  You could have heard a pin drop in the class.  The teacher fidgeted, crossed his legs and uncrossed them.... cleared his throat a couple of times...finally he muttered "not many people take pictures of flowers from the side....... it ..ahhhh.... ummmm.. certainly accentuates the ahhh... ummmm" and someone in the class filled in the missing word "STAMEN"

Here's the picture that left my teacher speechless..............

   

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Girlfriends






I am very lucky - since I moved here to Kingston I have met two amazing women.  Last spring we met for lunch one Sunday........... and talked and cried and laughed and talked some more.

That one lunch has evolved into a monthly lunch meetup ........ for the first time in my life I guess - I really understand "we have your back"............ yup I get it cause they do -  have my back and me theirs.

We are all submissives...........one has a part time partner - one has no partner and - well -you know where I am with our relationship.  Sunday's lunch was a mix of silliness - finding a TOP who will come to beat two of our asses (and one day soon - all 3 of our asses) right through serious thoughtful advice ..... tears and laughter and talking.

I don't know where I was going with this - except to say I am a lucky subbie to have 2 such good friends...... that have my back............