zen

zen

Saturday, August 01, 2015

Dance like Nobody's Watching



Last evening a group of us went to Market Square to "Rock the Square" .  Kingston had organised a free rock concert with Miss Emily as the opening act ........ and Big Sugar as the main event.

I had not heard of either of them.   I was assured if I liked reggae music with a mix of blues thrown in for good measure I would like Big Sugar.  No one else seemed to know this "Miss Emily"

I figured this new me - venturing out to all sorts of new things - would probably enjoy an introduction to some new "hip" bands ....... so I agreed.

We met up with more friends downtown and went to dinner (my dinner was a big disappointment - I didn't think anyone could ruin  Chicken Tikka Marsala - but they did) The restaurant was packed - everyone had the same bright idea - dinner before the show.  But thanks to some quick thinking on our server's part - we wolfed down dinner and made it to the square with minutes to spare!!

We had had a gorgeous day - sunny and warm - no humidity and the evening looked really promising............ 

until....

the black clouds started to roll in..........



But a few showers didn't dampen our enthusiasm for this Miss Emily - she was amazing!!  I loved her style and she soon had everyone clapping and singing along and grooving to the music.







 Some members of the Tragically Hip joined Miss Emily on stage for her final numbers








There was a brief break after she finished while they set up for Big Sugar - and the black clouds threatened ... the storm circled the downtown but never actually made it to us........We watched as Mother Nature put on quite a light show all around us - huge lightening bolts lighting up the night sky but it did nothing to dampen our enthusiasm for the show. 

Unfortunately the one thing I hadn't planned on - was the crowd rushing the stage when Big Sugar came out and that greatly hampered my getting any decent pictures..... but here are a few of the ones I did manage to snap.............

 





 





 After an hour and a half of beating out the tunes - the show came to a close ........ 

What an experience!!  I'll even admit to a wee bit of "dancing like nobody was watching"



 

Friday, July 31, 2015

Cue Cards needed


Now you are gonna have to follow the bouncing subbie ball here - cause I am trying to sort  things out...... yeah AGAIN!!

   I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer some times - honest I'm not!!  (and I can hear the rest of you snickering - I can!!)   There are some facets of life that I wish came with cue cards... or some sort of instructions.

A week or so ago I was talking with a close friend - she said "well look at all the folks who are flirting with you"  My jaw hit the floor - people have been flirting and I didn't pick up on it??!!  Most of the time - I just think people are being "nice'........... flirting never enters my mind... never has - not even when I was a young thing...... nice people that's what they were........ My friend - my "mini me" promised she would pinch me from now on to wake me up (her answer to cue cards - le sigh)

And then there was this conversation via text last week with some other friends - where I was asked what foods I like and I said "I'm easy" - MEANING I am not a picky eater.  Then there were the cracks about how he didn't think I was easy and I answered back (cheekily) are you saying I am difficult - to which he answered "NO just that you are not one of THOSE easy girls".

Ok by that point I knew we were talking about sex and teasing etc... I never thought it was a "fact finding mission" - was it??


Ok fast forward a few days - now there is a lot of talk involving double meanings (I think) - and talk about how things have occurred in the past - I tried to talk around the topic - drop my own kind of hints (gee are ya wondering how well that worked out for me??!!)

And then I thought I would just follow his lead - cause I am best at following - which is why I am a sub - a damn good one! His lead really didn't go anywhere. Oh there was some talk of sex - (see me blushing?) but no - ummm - directness - not in my mind. And I worried about overstepping the line.  He does have a very special significant other - called a wife.  And before anyone gets all bent out of shape - she was right there the whole time..........


Anyway all that to say - between being brought up to be a "good girl" and feelings of "who would want me (sexually)"  I am stuck in some limbo - wanting to get out..........an order or two would work wonders - and when it comes to flirting - either mini me had better start pinching me - OR - the flirter had better hit me over the head........ 

cause I am definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Messsage




About two weeks ago I guess it was - I received an email from a friend / acquaintance.  I had just rsvp'd that I wouldn't be attending a discussion group.  

The email basically said that despite what I thought / felt - this might be the very best time for me to attend.  I kept thinking how does he know what the best time is??? but I went .......... and the "old me" started to reappear... the bratty me.. the cheeky me... and I laughed along with everyone and realized that there was more to life than going to the gym and sitting at the computer working........ a whole BIG world had been waiting for me to reappear and re-discover my place in it.

And life has kinda started to move along again...... play time this weekend - another meeting this week of a new group getting started...... and lo and behold I was made a group leader!  (not sure how much of an "honour" that is - grinning - they need workers and I am a worker!)  BUT despite my thoughts that I would never see the BDSM side of my life again - here I am more active/busy than I have been in a LONG long time..... 

And that is a good thing - a very good thing!

All thanks to what I affectionately am calling my "message in a bottle" ..........

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Primal



I think most - if honest - would admit to having primal urges - some urges more intense than others but still - primal needs/wants/desires

Saturday night found me back in the dungeon.  This time not with the gentle Top who introduced me to the tens - who used knives and breath play to reach deep down inside of me and find my lil hidey hole - where "she" lives.

No on Saturday night I was with this Top who is discovering his primal side - nurturing it ... encouraging it..

This Primal does not frighten me - much less for sure - than the gentle Top who taught me on Friday night ........... and I wondered about that and I believe it is because I have an affinity for the Primal - and I DO love how they play - these primals - his and mine.

There is no politeness in the way these primal creatures play - they sweat and they groan and they growl and he forces orgasms out of me - from the pain only - and they don't scare him - he dances around them - he wants more of them ... to his primal I am not some freak - I am just another primal who has come out to play........... 

The play is intense - no toys - just skin against skin - pain rising up to drench my senses .... and his too I am sure... and bruises sprinkled like fairy dust across my thighs, my ass....

And when it's all over he wraps me up tight in a warm blanket - tight in his arms as we both sweat and pant together and come back to this earth together........ bonded in some weird primal way........... 


Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Shocking!


I have a healthy (maybe irrational) fear of electricity - and any and all electric play.  Tens Units and Violet wands have been on my HARD limit list for ever!

Friday evening as we were all getting ready to head to the dungeon to play... my hard limits were being reviewed........ and I interrupted to say - I might like to try the tens unit - maybe - heart pounding - stomach turning - legs ready to flee.  The Top looked - I am not sure - amused?? pleased???  

And then as they were setting up another hard limit came up -- "no hands around the neck right?? no breath play"  And again - stomach turning - heart pounding - legs ready to flee - I answered - a low stammering "maybe I would like to try "

They were good - no - better than good!  Instead of scaring the subbie to death... each implement with the tens unit was brought out - explained - used on his arm - then on mine (I jumped sky high with each test btw) .......... until they brought out the metal toys... with a look of glee on their faces.

The metal toys fascinated me (shiny - ohhhhhhh it's shiny) and I discovered the metal toys didn't make that distinct hissing electrical sound...... they just got to work.. and oh my god - on my arm - I LOVED it!! 

It was seconds later I was stripped naked - lying on the table holding some cylinder that was needed to complete the circuit and it began.  I held my breath at first as he gently ran the wheel up and down my leg... then as I calmed down - up and down my belly.... 

There came a point that I wanted more and I asked for the intensity to be turned up...
and yet again "more please"... I was loving it.. I murmured it feels just like a knife!!  (and I LOVE knives)

At some point he climbed up on the table behind me and pulled me upright - fitting me into the mold of his body and he did indeed have a knife in his hand.. and it began tracing patterns up and down my belly

Then his hand pushed me forward - so my belly was pressed against the table exposing my back - and the knife worked patterns up and down my back - just barely sliding into the crack of my bum... then back up - each time sending shivers through my entire body - and I was moaning softly in my throat.

He pulled me upright - back into the mold of his body - and his hand stroked the back of my neck - sliding gently sensually around to the front.. barely touching - stroking....... softly gently slowly tightening - not too much - just right.. and the knife continued to trace patterns - and his mouth against my ear kept murmuring encouraging words "good girl" "amazing" "proud of you"... and my body relaxed into his ...... joining with his.. fear disappearing...

Hand over my mouth and nose - near panic - but then I felt the knife again - digging into my flesh - goose bumps rising - heat building in my gut and the hand around my neck - the whispered words in my ear almost forgotten.......

and the long forgotten fairies danced around and called to me... 

His arms held me grounded ... his words continued - he stroked and talked and praised until I was safely back in the here and now.............glowing ... happy.. contented.