Mother's Day

 

 

Another Mother's Day

 

 Tomorrow is Mother's Day - again.  The second one in the pandemic.  Normally I don't want to know from Mother's Day - it's commercial and all that ........ was brought up to believe there shouldn't have to be one day to celebrate Mother or Father ........ but this year I wish more than I have ever wished before that we could all gather for Mother's Day - I wish I could hug my daughters.  I wish we could all gather around the dining room table and feast on pancakes and sausages and eggs and cinnamon rolls...... a huge brunch celebration like we used to ....... back in the days when I would go grudgingly ........ cause well Mother's Day is commercial and all that 

Mother's day used to signal the end of family celebrations for that year........ you see we have birthdays in Sept, Oct, Nov, Jan, Feb, March and April.   Then of course in there we also have Christmas and Easter..... so Mother's Day signalled the end of family get togethers / celebrations.

What a difference a year makes - or in this case - what a difference a pandemic makes.  I am missing these family celebrations......... missing the noise and the crowds of people... missing the kids and the hugs....... 

When this is finally over and we can go back to family celebrations I hope I never forget how it felt to be separated from my children..... from the family.... and never EVER complain again about another road trip for yet another celebration.

Let me ask you this..........

 

 So let me ask you this....... 

do you have any 'spanking equipment'?? I don't mean paddles, crops etc I mean furniture to spank over....... like a spanking bench - or a St Andrews cross.  

At one point -  when I was in Montreal and had a 'dungeon' downstairs - I had a St Andrew's cross

  a spanking bench

 

oh and a ' pony'

 

They made for some great parties....... let me tell you !!  (fond memories of my New Year's Day parties)

All of this came to mind because - believe it or not - THIS came across my feed on Facebook.

 

 

So - yeah! - tell me - would you buy this second hand 'bedroom furniture'??  When I showed it to Sir Steve - he said "IF I saw THAT from one of our neighbours....... I'd go shake his hand"  (grinning)

Dress Code

 

 

Way back when I was living in Montreal and first entering the BDSM world... you know way back when everything was shiny and bright and you wanted / HAD TO try everything NOW! I had a Dominant who looked around at what everyone else was doing and decided we would do it ALL (whether it fit or not)
And trust me when I say - there was some real weird sh*t happening in the Montreal community back then.  An example - there was a group that insisted that all submissives kneel and kiss the hand of EVERY dominant there.  I never understood that one... and was labelled the rebellious sub cause that was one of the things I refused to do! 

BUT there was a general dress code...... for most of the submissives I knew - it was a dress code when they went out to a party ........... it usually involved sexy? (or slutty) clothes - I had a modified version - a corset... a thong and I always wore a skirt!! A lot didn't - and would prance around in a corset and thong and nothing else - OH WAIT !  I forgot - they usually wore high heels - like 10 inches high. 

We had a dress code 24/7 -
1) I was to be naked at all times at home.
(which was REALLY dumb cause all my windows were floor to ceiling - and offered no privacy really - so I had to keep the curtains drawn - which was depressing cause it was so damn dark all the time)
also let's be honest - sitting on furniture when you're naked is not that hygienic - so I always had a towel folded to sit on.  (UGH!  I blush at the memory) Answering the front door offered a whole set of new challenges.

2) my dominant preferred me in dresses - like ALL the time.... which meant I had to buy a new wardrobe...... and dresses didn't actually work well in the classroom. 

3)  when I went out I was not allowed to wear any underwear!  even to work. 

The reasoning was - I had to be accessible at all times. IF I tried to discuss this dress code  - explain why it made me uncomfortable I was told I was a bad 'subbie'.  I didn't want to be 'bad' ....... so I stressed.

The other thing I remember about this 'dress code' was how humiliated it made me feel.  My dominant would take great pleasure in telling anyone who would listen how I was naked..... accessible.... I was (am) a private person - every time I would hear him talking about my nudity I would die a little bit inside. 

By the time I left that relationship I struggled with 'dress code'.  Poor Sir Steve had to constantly reassure me that I was to wear what made ME happy - what  made ME feel good.  He did not understand the need to control me to that extent - especially when it made me so obviously uncomfortable.  He did have 1 simple dress code rule - I would sleep naked.... easy peasy!  slipping into bed - snuggling up against his naked body is perhaps the best feeling in the world. Over the last 4 years I have learned one thing that Sir Steve likes/enjoys... and that's when I don't wear a bra.  He likes to be able to touch - OH forget touch!  He likes to grab and ya know what?? I like when he grabs... (but he never frowns when I put a bra on... not if it makes me comfortable!)

This is where I was gonna ask you all what / if any dress codes you all have.... but most of you answered that question yesterday ....I have to admit there was one or two of you that I expected would have a 'dress code'.... because ya know - sadly there are still skewered biases in my head.  I guess I still have some ' re-educating' to do .. after so many years of believing THIS was the right way to do BDSM - the ONLY way to do BDSM.

Just a Little Tease.........

 

I had a blog rolling around in my head this morning.... BUT I had an appointment this morning ......... which means my anxiety was working over time.. which means now all I want to do is rest with my eyes closed.

 Sooooooooooooo 

Tomorrow I have plans to write a blog with a BDSM theme entitled 'dress code'.
Think about it...... do you have a 'dress code'?    We'll 'talk' tomorrow ......