games people play

i am sure this isn't going to be any "light bulb" moment for most.... but it was for me... maybe because for the most part i do not play games...

But this morning i was reading a submissive's journal where she talks about online subbies and real life ones too playing games to get her Master's attention.. and how a couple had succeeded... no way am i gonna sit in judgement of her Master or those submissives.... but it did get me thinking... people play games !! all the time !!

i sat and reviewed how much of life is made up of these "games"...

* there is the new submissive playing with his/her Dom/me.... pretending things that he/she doesn't feel to get a reaction out of the Dom/me...
* there are those that play "coy" hoping to get a reaction out of a Dom/me
* there are those who take a dislike to someone for whatever reason (valid or not) and then go out of their way to avoid or disappoint or hurt that person
* there are those that having been hurt play a game of "getting even"
* there are those that play at BDSM .. trying to find a life partner thinking BDSM will be the way
* there are games people play regularily to be noticed.. to be cared for.. to be powerful
* then there are the games people play in response to those who want to be noticed.. to be cared for.. to be powerful

it really is no wonder that i have always felt i didn't know the 'rules' to the game called 'life'. It was simple to me .. live your life with honesty, openness, caring and trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say. But sometimes... just sometimes i do get overwhelmed by the 'games' and get a little lost. Sometimes it would seem i am expected to play these games....... just to survive.

Games people play .. it does boggle my mind sometimes...

Best friends

Once upon a time i had this submissive friend (male submissive friend) Oh the hell we could raise when we were together!! pure brats we were !!! Then one day he whispered in my ear that he was a "switch" and he left my side to be a Dom. ugh.. that was a time of constant testing for me.. to remember my place.. and that he was no longer at my side. Show respect.. show respect .. became my mantra. i wondered if he ever knew how difficult it was to not stick my tongue out at him.. or try and egg him on to some totally bratty action. Most of the time i didn't recognise Him.. especially when He would bring His submissive over to visit and play here... Wasn't he supposed to be on his knees ?? oh it was so confusing for my lil subbie brain!!!

Then life happened ... tough scary life.... and he was neither Dom nor sub just a friend.. and Sir and i were at his side.. then it was his turn to be at my side .. holding my hand... and i discovered after all had returned to normal that it didn't really matter if he were sub or slave or Dom.... most importantly he was a FRIEND !!!

time passed and now he has found two wonderful Dommes to serve and he is sub again !!! Oh the fun we have debating issues such as sub or slave... to label or not to label... what trouble can we get each other into...red panties with black hearts is the new trigger for trouble .. (big cheeky grin)

BUT i learned something much more important during this journey with him... sub or slave or switch .. we ARE best friends !!!

weekend projects

i am very lucky to have a rather nice lil "play room" downstairs. And off the playroom is another small room that i use for umm let's see now.. storage, the cats apartment, more storage, oh yeah.. and my exercise room.

However, Sir and i have plans for a nice lil party on Canada Day weekend. And bright me got the idea to finally fix up the side room .. in time for the party !! ok ok i never claimed to have the best timing!! So this week in between doing battle with Goliath the boss.. and Goliath the 14 wheeler.. AND Goliath the cold ... i did manage to drag all the storage stuff out of the side room, all the cats' toys and beds, and slap up a couple of coats of white paint on the walls (which had been this charming LIME green colour) Do i hear mumblings out there of "white?? for a dungeon/playroom?" No no no !!! Use your imagination folks... stark white walls with lots and lots of BDSM prints framed and hanging in the room!!! And on the shelving Sir's Betty Page doll... And some more of my oriental charm..

And to hide the exercise part of the room (cause i will be back on track again next week - as long as no more Goliath's come calling) my Chinese privacy screen.

Now .. i am wondering if i have fought this Goliath of a cold enough that maybe.. just maybe Sir will be able to try out the new playroom this afternoon........... maybe a little ride on the "pony"???

How may i serve You Sir??

and the debate here in the Great White North continues .. slave or sub.... a friend said that he believed service without question makes a slave... as well as giving up all control all safe words all limits.. This morning my Sir sent me this picture... i would serve my Sir this way.. but i had to ask... is THAT look permitted??? Sir loves my looks and is always forever trying to capture them on film... i am guessing that ...though i serve my Sir in all He asks.. that my "looks" which often times are cheeky ones... will always keep me from being "slave" ..... and i have to ask myself .. is it really important to be a slave or a submissive ?? Is the label important? If i am property .. owned cherished cared for... does it really matter what label one puts on it???

on submissives and slaves

As long as i can remember there have been debates in the BDSM community (here in the Great White North at least) about submissive versus slave. i always believed that a slave was one step above a submissive (in my own personal pecking order). For me, to be a slave was an honoured position.

Some here maintain a slave is merely at one end of the spectrum of submission. i have never been able to wrap my mind around that theory. To me there are different levels of submission but only ONE level of slave. It has all been confusing and some what frustrating to me. i learned early on not to enter into any debates with folks on this subject. Few if any accepted my definition. (holding hands out wide) submissive in this hand.. slave in the other.

A passing comment by a friend .. "am i sub or slave" made me scurry off to find some definition.. some clear definition........ sighhhh .. have you ever tried goggling "bdsm definition of submissive and slave"?? do you have any idea how many opinions there are??!!!

i read until the screen was blurry.. i had all but given up hope when i read this quote:
" Slavery is not about submission or submissive behaviors. It is about obedience."
This comes from the web site http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm
if anyone wishes to read the entire article.

Finally something i COULD wrap my mind around..... obedience.
and now i better understand my desire to be a slave. i honour slaves .. and thus make it an honoured position. To give obedience beyond all else?? it is something i struggle daily with.... obeying Sir's rules without question... obeying Sir's tasks without question.. obeying Sir completely and totally.... Some days i succeed.. others i struggle. To give complete and total obedience is the difference (for me anyway) between a slave and a submissive.