A quiet peace

My heart is too full tonite....... i will simply leave you with the pictures of my new framed geisha.. and my new fairy tshirt...

Tomorrow i will tell tales of new toys that hurt like the dickens.. but for tonite... just an inner peace..

Our special day...

June 2001 i knelt at Sir's feet and begged Him to collar me.... my heart was beating so hard and i was so sure i was going to be sick..... His answer " I will think about it".... He took over 4 weeks to "think about it".... and every hour of every day i was sure the answer was going to be "NO"...... On July 29th 2001 Sir took me and had me tattooed, brought me home and put His collar around my neck..... i was owned !!!

i realized not long afterwards that the month Sir took to think about it.. was time spent weighing the responsibility of what He was going to take on.... He did not enter into this relationship without much soul searching......... He is a man with scruples....... this was not a game ... this was for real.

Today we celebrate our 5th year together. The time has flown by...... we have weathered more than one or two storms.. a few health issues.. we have also grown together .. we have laughed together and we have loved together.

i want to say here and now... i am as proud today to be collared by this man i call Sir as i was the day the collar was first fastened around my neck. In my entire life i have never felt as fulfilled .. as loved.. as cared for ..

Sir......... You have given me wings to fly.......

ships passing in the night....

On July 16th - almost two weeks ago - Sir and i met at our monthly munch, a submissive who was visiting here from Texas. i sat with her most of the evening... thoroughly enjoying her company. She was funny (hysterically funny actually), intelligent, warm and friendly. AND she felt like a sister ! i thought how unfair that we will only have this one evening to laugh and talk....

But as the fates would have it... Sir and i managed to have her over for a barbque supper on Tuesday evening - nothing special such a quick barbque dinner and more time to laugh and talk and share. The early evening streteched into night.. and still we sat outside watching the flames in the little fire pit.. talking and talking..... i thought it would be our last chance to be together...

And then the talk came round to vibrators.. and her vibrator that could (she swore it could!) break concrete... and she mentioned how she hadn't seen /visited any of our kinky stores here in town......... Sir sat straight up... no one in the lifestyle comes here and doesn't visit at least ONE of our kinky shops.... Her schedule was quickly laid out ...could we fit in a shopping trip?? She is leaving on Saturday.. could we?? would it be possible??

Well as it turns out.. her exams (she is taking a french course up here - what else would a good southern Texan girl do up here??) would be finished by 10:30 a.m Friday ... Sir checked His schedule nothing booked.... and me?? well i am on summer break so i don't really have a schedule. So we are all off to visit at least Il Bolero this morning... maybe even Northbound Leather if there is time..

Then it will be time to say goodbye to this southern gal who graced our Great White North for such a short period.... i will miss her.. miss her smiling face.. her wonderful hugs. Like two ships that pass in the night........ i wonder if our paths will ever cross again............

Wishful thinking... or be careful what you wish for..

Last evening Sir and i were discussing how easy a lay i am.. i gave Him the "shocked what ARE You talking about look" and well .... one thing lead to another... and before i knew it ...Sir had laid down a task for me... i was to apply the bulldog clamps and then using one of my vibrators masturbate to orgasm. Well not being one who knows when to keep my tongue between my teeth.. i believe i said something to the affect of "YOU have got to be kidding??!!!" which landed me up with doing it twice.. once last evening after my bath.. and once this morning..

Do you remember the first bulldog clamp session?? Each hour on the hour bulldog clamps on each pussy lip for 20 minutes?? If you missed that one you can read it HERE. Ok ok i am a masochist.. but ya know what?? there is something sacred about my masturbation times.. they are NOT supposed to include anything painful.. nope .. not all.. no Sireeeee!!!

After my bath i grabbed the camera (cause you just know Sir is gonna wanna see THIS!).. the bulldog clamps.. and my favourite vibrator that has a little beaver positioned in just the right place to stimulate all the right bits.... and climbed into bed.... (now i ask you - how much fun is all this preparation for a little masturbation session - kinda kills the mood if you know what i mean) i carefully held my breath and applied the clamps....... god i had forgotten how much they HURT ! then i picked up the vibrator turned it on.. and tried to slide it in..

HELLO.......... ouch.... the ding dang clamps got caught up in the vibrator and were trying to join it inside me! i repeat OUCH. ok ok.. small adjustment.. hold clamps apart while inserting vibrator... HELLO .. ouch.. it won't go all the way in!! i am thinking that my friend the beaver is now banging against said clamps .. ok so i will forego having the vibrator deep inside.. after all i have my little friend the beaver right??? so hold still grab the camera and shoot umpteen pictures praying at least one will turn out... put camera down and turn vibrator on HIGH .. cause by now i have lost any mood i had had and am gonna need all the help i can get - trust me! Everything is purring along so nicely... and i can feel myself warming up to this.. (just don't make any sudden moves and you can almost forget the clamps are there.. almost !!!) Well then i start to have an orgasm.. and trust me when i say ... i am can not - totally mission impossible - for me to lie still while orgasming... i tend to clamp my legs together and (when masturbating) for some reason.. roll over on my stomach......... well guess what?? clamping my legs together just at the right moment .. clamped the bulldogs down hard and HELLO....... ouch!!! and poof one orgasm gone gone gone....... big sigh.. try again.. same thing happened.. ok i give up... (not SUCH an easy lay Sir !!) i pull everything out and off.. turn out the lights and head off to dream land.. all the while trying to figure out how to do this orgasm thing without ripping my pussy lips off...

Morning dawns and i am ok ok i admit it.. horny as hell.... so i think to myself.. a different vibrator.. after all i am the queen of vibrators .. there must be one that i can use with less contact with the bulldogs......... so i go and get my "fuzzy" purple vibrator... discover it has no batteries in it.. discover i have no more AA batteries.. grab favourite beaver vibrator remove AA batteries.. insert in fuzzy and start again.. (now i repeat my question... is masturbating supposed to be so much work???!!!) Apply bulldogs .. silently scream OUCH and decide i am definitely more sensitive early in the morning... take deep breaths .. turn on fuzzy vibrator... slide it slowly and cautiously in.. BINGO .. it slides in with a minimum amount of contact with bulldogs... (didn't anyone tell Sir .. dogs and pussies are NOT best friends??!! ok ok.. bad joke) Cautiously i pick up camera and shoot umpteen more pics hoping one will turn out... and then proceed to get down to the business at hand - so to speak. Everything moves along swimmingly until the point of orgasm.. and BOOM.. Pain with a capital "P".. and poof there goes the orgasm....

At that point i am ready to throw the vibrators AND the bulldogs out the nearest window.. decide i need coffee more than an orgasm.. decide i am NOT an easy lay..... decide i better pray at least one pic of each session turned out .. decide i had better write my private journal to Sir .. while i drink my coffee... AND decide never to wish for anything ever ever again......... (ok ok.. at least until the next weak moment!!!)

oh yeah.. a couple of pictures did turn out.. and i am posting them for your viewing pleasure.. (someone should get pleasure out of this task !!! )

(and as i am still ordered to write a story a day.. i will post another post to the Fictional journey a little later .. and probably update my photojournal as well......... right now i definitely NEED another cup of coffee.. coffee is gonna be my best friend today i think!!)

High Noon

It is high noon...... and i wonder where the time has gone... i did tackle my "to do list" for Sir.... YAY! And i did try to tie myself into a pretzel all in the name of yoga and trying desperately to loosen up some tight joints... i did organise my business files (some what!) and i did pay some bills........and i did make and receive some phone calls... and yet i am surprised to see it is noon already.........

i did have one smutty thought today...... (ok ok more than one.. but one i am willing to admit to) ......... the word "slut".... it has always been a word that curls my toes ...... makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up...... and the one word that will make me want to slap someone SO BAD that i almost forget i am a good submissive.

"slut" as defined in the dictionary (and by my parents who planted that thought firmly into my psyche) is "a woman who is slovenly or who has many sexual partners". Now Sir says i am just this side of being obsessive / complusive about how clean and tidy the house is... so i am most definitely NOT slovenly.... i can probably count the number of sexual partners i have had in my life time on two hands........ i don't think that puts me in the "many sexual partners" category. So why is it.. someone please explain to me.. that a lot of Doms like to call Their submissives "sluts"?? Why is it that a lot of submissives see themselves as "sluts" - even if they really aren't??? Why does that word seem to have such a prominent position in this lifestyle??

Is it my age that makes it so difficult for me to accept this label?? not just for me but for any one i hear being called "slut"?? Is my mental picture of a submissive that different from others?? You see........ to me a submissive is the epitome of a "lady", polite, quiet, gentle, modest..........ok ok.. maybe the one difference is... a lady doesn't fuck..... she does IT modestly in the dark. Ok ok i admit it.. i have never particularily enjoyed doing IT in the dark ... i LOVE sex.. i love it any where...any how (don't get too worked up Sir.. NOT THERE and not that way!!) any time... i have enough vibrators (and batteries) and dildos to make sure that i never ever have to go without an orgasm!! it has been rumored that i have a dildo/vibrator to match just about any mood any woman would have........ (but the rumours exaggerate!!) and oh yeah, P... i do not have a concrete breaking vibrator .. though the thought intriques me!!

Does my love of sex make me a "slut"?? i don't think so. i believe it makes me a healthy happy woman......... so please tell me .. what IS it with that word???