(warning -- I'm pissy and petulant and grumpy and testy and a whole bunch of other emotions -- read at own risk)
We are living at the campgrounds right now... despite miserable summer weather -- not much heat -- less sun -- and bugs (I look like I have chicken pox despite the DEET I liberally apply)
Yesterday I had the lil one for 11 hours alone. That in it's self didn't bug me...... I had activities to do with her .............
One of the activities I set up were brightly coloured pylons on the road and had her and her best friend riding their bikes through and around them. It helps develop control and confidence and cognitive skills.
We were all laughing and having fun.
THEN mother shows up out of her trailer -- steps into the middle of the road with her video camera -- talks to the lil one -- distracts her and the lil one turns her bike too sharp and takes a spill.
THEN mother who does NOTHING with the child when she has her -- posts the video to facebook not giving me any credit for setting this up -- for challenging HER child -- for making life fun for HER child. She left it looking as though this was her doing!!
I am fucking tired of this type of behaviour..... any pictures I post on FB of the child -- they suck it up and post it on their walls with no credit (for the photography or the activity) given to me!!! I have now taken to watermarking all my pics with my name!
I didn't sleep last night I was so pissed -- so totally pissed. I wish the thoughts in my head could come out my mouth -- but they won't -- cause I am not like that. Oh I can think of a thousand different mean nasty things to say to this woman but I just can't do it.... NO what I do is stomp all my feelings down inside me -- and slip away from everyone and cry -- have nightmares all night long -- have knots in my stomach..... but I can't tell her to fuck off.
She decides when it is convenient for her to take the lil one -- she decides she NEEDS a fucking holiday and packs up and goes leaving the lil one with us....... with me basically -- I am not a FUCKING NANNY!! and if I was I would damn well expect to be paid well for the work / time I spend with the lil one.
'
I thought fuck this shit -- I'll stop entertaining/teaching the lil one -- I'll leave her to her own devices like everyone else seems to do...........
Yeah except
I can't do that. This lil one didn't ask for any of this shit that is going on around her... she doesn't deserve to be penalized.
It does seem I have found another of my kids who needs me -- and I have never walked away from one of "my" kids before ..... I know I won't be able to do it now.
I am feeling petulant and nasty ......... and that is NOT a good thing!
This is not a battle you can win. It sounds like you are mostly angry that the mother doesn't give you credit for the effort you put into entertaining her child. Ask yourself what is the real reason this makes you so angry. I presume Sir Steve appreciates and acknowledges what you do. What does it matter what the mother or her FB friends think. If you escalate this you just put SS in the middle.
ReplyDeleteNot good you're feeling petulant. Hope your holiday improves. I use watermarks on my photos as had a few stolen on face book. Best way to protect them. Good luck and try to stay positive.
ReplyDeleteHugs Lindy xx
I've been reading your posts for a long time (5 years? Not sure!), first time commenting though. I know you mentioned that this was more of a rant, so if my advice doesn't sit well / seem relevant, please feel free to ignore it!
ReplyDeleteI can understand how frustrating it must be to have this woman acting so childishly, and it's never a good feeling to have someone take credit for your work/time/effort. However, you can't change her. Even if you did talk to her and say the things you wished you could, it unfortunately wouldn't change her behaviour at all. It may just make it worse.
I know it's difficult (and unsatisfying), but the the best thing you can do is to just treat this woman like the pest she is and ignore her. A lot of the stuff she's doing (and will do) is about her own issues and likely, she's trying to get a reaction out of you. Any reaction.
Honestly, the best thing you can do (for yourself) is just keep living your life the way you normally would. If you wouldn't normally watermark your photos, don't do it because of her. Do it because you want to watermark your photos. If you want to teach and educate the daughter, do so! Don't let this petty woman stop you from having fun and living your life the way you would if she wasn't there.
I agree that it's not satisfying to ignore her, and imaging all the things you could do / say seem more satisfying. However, when you react to her, you're only feeding into her behaviour and it may cause her to escalate if she knows she's getting a reaction.
It's hard because she's not some random woman on the street you could just roll your eyes at, but I think if you can try and perceive her that way (instead of her close connections), it may help you feel a bit better about the situation.
She's not going to change any time soon, but you can try to change how you feel / react to her and that may help give you some peace of mind.
I hope that this is somewhat helpful and that I'm not overstepping. I really enjoy reading your blog!
I feel your pain hon. It's never fun when the adults can't actually act like adults and the kids are the ones who suffer for it. I'm so glad that little one found you, having someone who cares when they don't have to might make a huge difference in her life as she gets older. You're making her feel like she matters and that she is important in a time when it's easy for kids to feel anything but. Be you! Fight for her! It's what you do best and I have no doubt it'll pay off in years to come.
ReplyDeleteGiant hugs
CG
I'm thinking that if the mother's friends really know her, they know she didn't set any of this up. She sounds like a piece of work.
ReplyDeleteAt the start of your post when you said you had things to say but didn't, I knew right away that the reason was you were putting the little one first. She is a lucky little girl to have you standing for her. She knows you are the one nurturing her, and so does Sir Steve. They're the ones that matter. Hang in there!!!