I am actually talking about something called "maintenance spankings"........ something, I might add, I know little about and don't really understand. (Cause if I did 'get it' I would have researched it a long time ago...........)
I think I really heard the term the first time over on "My Bottom Smarts"...... a blog I read occasionally .. and.. have from time to time, contributed to the Sunday Brunch topic.
This whole 'maintenance spanking' thing came back to me this weekend - as it is the topic of the Brunch this Sunday. If you want to check it out you can go here.............
I have been testing a few responses out - but decided I would post here - rather than there - so I don't upset anyone's apple cart (so to speak)
Ok so I really don't get this idea of 'maintenance spankings'.... on so many different levels.
First - It always makes me think of the old joke - where a child is getting spanked and when he asks "what did I do!!??" Is told " it's for all the times I didn't catch you doing something bad". Yeah laugh if you want - but honestly I don't get it. Ruling by fear doesn't much work for me. (or in my case being ruled by fear)
Secondly - we aren't children anymore - and so it irritates me no end to have spankings used as a punishment. I grew up a long time ago..............and don't much wish to go back to being someone's child. And I want to make it perfectly clear right here and now.. my parents did NOT spank. They didn't believe in it... and besides ... I was one of those sucky kids everyone hates - cause they never EVER do anything wrong.
Then I got thinking about maintenance spankings and how they are usually 'scheduled' into the week or month. And that got me to thinking about "date nights" and how they oh so didn't work most of the time. You know what I am talking about right?? When you are with someone (whom you are usually married to) and you have to schedule a "date night" to make sure you get some quality "ME" time with your partner/spouse.
I remember (when I was married) trying to schedule 'date nights'........... and usually by the time they rolled around .. one of the kids was sick.. or one of us was sick.. or one of us was exhausted beyond belief from the week.......... and they kinda fell by the wayside.
I also remember my parents (god bless them) giving my hubbie and I a weekend away once or twice a year. A time for us to escape the family nest - go forth and party for 2 whole days........... with a fair amount of sexual activity thrown in for good measure. I mean - after all - we didn't have 2 kids in the rooms next to us eavesdropping on the shenanigans going on in Mom and Dad's bedroom.
I remember being really excited for those weekends away......... but 9 times out of 10 ... by the time we got to the hotel - the most we wanted to do was curl up and sleep ....... watch a movie ... eat in restaurants ...... and sleep some more. There was just too much pressure to "perform" to make it fun and adventurous.
So I kinda look at maintenance spankings in the same light......... I can see the scheduled evening/night /day (hell who knows when they schedule these things??!!) coming along and one or both of the partners being a whole lot less interested in the maintenance. It's a chore after all !! Just like the term implies "maintenance"... in my addled brain - it rates up there with cleaning the gutters, or cleaning the toilets, or changing the oil in the car. Boring maintenance - that most folks just want to put off.
So I honestly don't get how it works that well....... hell I don't get how it works at all. Yet many people sing the praises of 'maintenance spankings'..... and their relationships thrive on them. (More power to ya!!)
Me - well I would rather act my age - and not throw temper tantrums - or stamp my foot (in earnest that is) - or commit any other infraction that would necessitate anything in the form of 'maintenance'. I prefer my life to be more adventurous - more spontaneous And keep all my maintenance to being actually maintenance work around the house... thank you very much !!
(i will now put away my soap box - carry on - with or without maintenance )
Hmmm...good food for tought. How about re-connect, or staying connected?? I need to be spanked once a week, and now I now I will be...its a committment. But I do get your point. abby
ReplyDeleteok abby explain to me "need to be spanked" what do you mean by that??
ReplyDeletei "need" to be spanked too... but because I crave it..,., please explain your need. :)
My husband is in the camp of 'it makes no sense to give a spanking to avoid a spanking', which is how he sees maintenance. Spanking someone as a reminder to be good. Makes no sense, when the punishment is spanking anyway, so in his eyes, he sees it as 'giving a spanking to avoid one'
ReplyDeleteAnd I used to agree....but since then I have decided that I think it would help in some ways. For me, a good spanking helps reset me when I am starting to spiral into a funk. Rather than allow me to spiral completely into that vortex, acting crazy and feeling crazy and horrible and a mess and finally being such a bitch that I get spanked for being horrible, a spanking when it starts goes a long way in resetting me so I feel normal again.
I could wait until I 'earn' a spanking. but why? We're both miserable on the way, I hate the way I feel and act, he hates being around it and we both know where it's headed.
in my mind, a maintenance can make sense in this way to keep on an even keel. For me, a spanking does that.
I know some who also do it to kinda keep a headspace in their roles. This makes sense to me too. Spanking often humbles me a bit, makes me softer. Some I know do it for this reason, as a tool to aid in the harmony. :)
sarah
thank you sarah :) that is an excellent description of how it works for you...
ReplyDeleteBut if i may ask one question???
do you like spankings???? or are they simply a grounding/centering for you???
I maintain that I like recreational spankings whenever. Where does that leave me? OTK I hope
ReplyDeleteYou made me think, Morningstar. Need as in keeps me centered, and keeps the voices at bay. Need as in no need to worry about when my next spanking will be. Comfort in knowing, no matter how crazy life becomes, if we are both are in the same city, I get spanked. abby
ReplyDeletethank you to everyone who commented today and answered my questions... I think I learned something :)
ReplyDeleteWow that was certainly an interesting and informative blog and comments. I understand spanking in an erotic playful sense, but totally don't get the need for maintenance. But then again I don't understand the need to be "grounded" or "centered". Maybe maintenance spankings fill the need for extra attention over and above what normally comes in a relationship. (shaking head in confusion)
ReplyDeleteJoyce