Princess by day Slut by night

I have read in many different areas of the net - this request Dom's have for a "Princess by day and a slut by night".    I figured (and there is nothing to say I am wrong) that they are looking for a "lady" in public and a "lover" by night.   I never saw anything wrong with that..... it was rather appealing to be honest. 

But the other day I was reading a couple of profiles on Fetlife - one of the Dom one of the sub.  And it disturbed me. He described how he had brought this "lady" down to an object - to nothing more than an object to be used by him anyway he wished.  The pictures were degrading, much much less than this "Princess by day".  

Then I read her profile - and she sang his praises.  How she loved to be brought down to the lowest depths I can even imagine.  

And it has been bothering me on many levels.

First I always believed a submissive should never be a doormat.  She should be strong and independent.  

But the bit that keeps rambling around in my head - and is probably due to my upbringing - is how does a woman allow herself to be degraded and objectified like that??

Is that what all submissives are supposed to do?  Where is the respect?? the love??? Or do submissives not love their Doms ... do the Doms not love the subs??? 

Is there no happy medium between the two worlds - the Princess by day the slut by night??   Don't the Doms want to be proud of the beautiful woman on his arm??? 

Sometimes it is all just too confusing.............