(warning -- I'm pissy and petulant and grumpy and testy and a whole bunch of other emotions -- read at own risk)
We are living at the campgrounds right now... despite miserable summer weather -- not much heat -- less sun -- and bugs (I look like I have chicken pox despite the DEET I liberally apply)
Yesterday I had the lil one for 11 hours alone. That in it's self didn't bug me...... I had activities to do with her .............
One of the activities I set up were brightly coloured pylons on the road and had her and her best friend riding their bikes through and around them. It helps develop control and confidence and cognitive skills.
We were all laughing and having fun.
THEN mother shows up out of her trailer -- steps into the middle of the road with her video camera -- talks to the lil one -- distracts her and the lil one turns her bike too sharp and takes a spill.
THEN mother who does NOTHING with the child when she has her -- posts the video to facebook not giving me any credit for setting this up -- for challenging HER child -- for making life fun for HER child. She left it looking as though this was her doing!!
I am fucking tired of this type of behaviour..... any pictures I post on FB of the child -- they suck it up and post it on their walls with no credit (for the photography or the activity) given to me!!! I have now taken to watermarking all my pics with my name!
I didn't sleep last night I was so pissed -- so totally pissed. I wish the thoughts in my head could come out my mouth -- but they won't -- cause I am not like that. Oh I can think of a thousand different mean nasty things to say to this woman but I just can't do it.... NO what I do is stomp all my feelings down inside me -- and slip away from everyone and cry -- have nightmares all night long -- have knots in my stomach..... but I can't tell her to fuck off.
She decides when it is convenient for her to take the lil one -- she decides she NEEDS a fucking holiday and packs up and goes leaving the lil one with us....... with me basically -- I am not a FUCKING NANNY!! and if I was I would damn well expect to be paid well for the work / time I spend with the lil one.
I thought fuck this shit -- I'll stop entertaining/teaching the lil one -- I'll leave her to her own devices like everyone else seems to do...........
I can't do that. This lil one didn't ask for any of this shit that is going on around her... she doesn't deserve to be penalized.
It does seem I have found another of my kids who needs me -- and I have never walked away from one of "my" kids before ..... I know I won't be able to do it now.
I am feeling petulant and nasty ......... and that is NOT a good thing!