Sunday, January 29, 2012

Anger no more






I have always ....... ALWAYS........ had trouble with people who lie to me... or try to trick me... or talk about me behind my back..... in other words - people who make me angry.

My mother used to tell me over and over "don't put yourself on their level"...... 
My grandmother used to tell me - "they will get what's coming to them ....... you may not be there to see it - but trust me - they WILL get what's coming to them"

But still I allowed people to anger me........ to upset me..... even when these mean spirited people did get what was coming to them.. even when I KNEW they got what was coming to them..... 

Then last year I decided life was just too bloody short to give these mean spirited people that much power over me.. that much control of my life.

It has NOT been easy - and my anger - my "get even" mentality has reared it's ugly lil head from time to time.  But I seem better able to reel the emotions back in .. get them under control.... 

Case in point......... as most who read here regularly know ........ i have a "stalker" (for lack of better words).  And just when I think it is safe to stick my head out and breath she comes sneaking back into my life via comments here on The Journey - or in email... usually emails to W cc'd to me.

There is one email that stands out......... oh how I would have loved to hit the 'reply' button and let my scathing comments flow out into an email........ but instead I deleted it .. forever...... (so temptation didn't win).  And slowly the snide innuendos from her email faded in my memory - until today I honestly can't tell you what she wrote - just that it had angered me.

There have been other emails - and I have deleted (forever) immediately and have been amazed at how easy it is getting .. and how much better I feel - how much more in control I feel - for not responding.


It doesn't hurt at all that W has responded to the lastest email with words that support me....... (for the record it made me feel warm and fuzzy and cared for)


So I am learning - albeit slowly - that if I let someone's nasty words against me rule my day ....or week... I am giving them power over me......... which is the very last thing I want to do.......... 


It isn't an easy lesson.............. and it has taken me a damn long time to learn it ........ but I am here to say how 'freeing' it is not to have to get even........... not to have to prove I am right and they are wrong (they being a generic 'they') 

I keep remembering life is too short to be angry - or vengeful - I am going to live this part of my life with more joy than sadness ....... more peace than turmoil....... with more love than hate. 

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I knew i read you for a reason.. not just the bdsm aspect .. but you are one smart cookie :) i admire you very much .. yes i know i dont know you .. but from your blog, from what you write .. i admire what you say and how you say it .. your care and concern for your students and your common sense (which isnt that common any more) hope you have a great day. p.s. isnt the delete button wonderful ??

:)
-sugar

sunnygirl said...

smart lady.

Anonymous said...

Agree wholeheartedly with sugar's comment. You did the best thing... no response. It really deflates the bully... stalker whatever when nothing comes back. They are deprived of their reward so to speak.

Enjoy your sledding on the sidelines today!
Joyce

abby said...

Yeah for you! abby

sarah thorne said...

That's the best way to deal with them. I have a stalker, but I think I anger him way more than he anger me. If you start to perceive them as pathetic (which they are), then reading their rants tend to be viewed in a different light. That is the case with me. And I can tell you, my cavalier attitude towards his attempts to upset me (I usually ridicule his attempts :-D) actually end up making HIM angry.

But you are right, life is way too short to be angry. I don't give that person power over me. Most times I ignore him. But every now and then will get into a mood to laugh at his ridiculous attempts, but that again is under my control.

Choose joy! :)

sarah

BlazngScarlet said...

My ex once told me that words are just that ... words.
They hold no meaning or power unless we ALLOW them to.
Smartest thing he ever said to me!

I'm very happy that you have chosen to stay on the high road.
You are better than all that.
Besides, who needs (or wants) someone elses drama?

Mikki said...

Dang... hate that you have a stalker but glad I'm not the only one! It only took trying to convince this person that I'm not bad or evil a couple of times to find the delete button.... you are so right~ Delete button is one of the greatest things ever! Wish I had one in real life sometimes!!! ((hugs))