Monday, January 10, 2011
In exactly 40 minutes I am leaving to go for my pre-op tests.
I am so scared I can hardly breathe. This isn't just "white coat" syndrome. This is fear that in all these tests they are going to find "something".
Right now I feel so alone - and even if I had 100 people with me - the feelings wouldn't change...... because this is about me.. my body... people won't help. I just have to do this alone.
I survived all the tests
If they find anything wrong someone will contact me in 48 hours
I was so drained I had a headache and slept for 2 hours this afternoon. It feels so damn stupid to do this to one's body... yet I honestly don't know how to turn off this fear of hospitals and doctors.
Thank you all for your support and kind thoughts.