Monday, May 31, 2010
Almost 3 months ago I announced I was going to "take the high road" And I know there are some who will probably question this blog entry. But I have had a few comments and private emails saying 'no one ever writes about break ups - how to do it.. etc"
My advice is to do IT quietly. No matter how many times you feel you are being goaded into exploding outward do IT quietly. I know it is amazing how many rush to watch the "train wreck" but don't give them anything to see. When I first announced my "uncollaring" the daily hits on The Journey topped 200 a day - which is HUGE compared to my normal days.
Don't think for one minute it is easy to do IT quietly - it isn't... especially when there are rumours and gossip flying around.. especially when you feel you are being pushed into reacting.
See this period in your life as an amazing opportunity to learn. I know I have learned about personal space and personal boundaries... and a spin off on the old saying from school "your job my job" now it is "your shit my shit". Learn that you are a strong independent soul.... and have the tools at hand to stop most of the rumours/gossip getting through your "walls". Block/ban/spam. Pull your walls in close around you.. pull your closest friends in tight around you.
Don't stop living - no matter how much it hurts! It is important despite the high walls of protection - to let the world see you are alive and well. Hold your head up high - ok ok that one took me awhile to master. I went to work I came home. I spent time with family and close friends and I came home. BUT I finally felt ready to actually go out!
And when I did - I stepped out with head held high and back straight. I had nothing to be ashamed of. The weeks and months of taking the high road paid off. No one thought evil thoughts of me - or if they did - they sure didn't say them to my face. Quite the opposite. It is amazing how word spreads in this "community". I had taken the high road. I did not turn this non-event into a train wreck. And the people who really matter............. well they know. They do. Even when we think no one else knows what we are going through... they know... they just do.
One of the most interesting things that was said to me over these last few weeks was from someone I only called an acquaintance. She said " the best thing about this "divorce" and division of property..... we got you!"
So now I am here. And here is a very good place to be. And to quote my favourite author Dr. Seuss...... from his book "Oh the places you'll go"
"You have brains in your head You have feet in Your shoes You can steer yourself any direction you choose You're on your own And you know what you know You're the guy who'll decide where to go!"