Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Processing revisited..

It would seem i have confused some.. upset others, and just plain bored others with my post on processing......

i will not apologize for those mixed emotions/feelings....... this blog has a dual purpose to amuse and titillate at times........ at others.. help me work out the confusion .. see through the muddied waters... and Processing was one of those times.

Cloud suggested that it could be the treatments i am on that are throwing my body for a loop..... could be ........ He also suggested that i need an ass to beat - nope no way. swan told me to hang on.. not to go there.. to just breath deeply and try and go with the flow...... good advise.

And Sir.. well Sir is distressed by my feelings......... and i don't want Him distressed.. i want to be where i was.... but maybe instead of looking backwards i need to look forward.... i need to process this new way of dealing with sessions... i need to believe my body is not broken.. just slightly bent to the left .. and that maybe things - like dripping wet on command - just won't come as automatically anymore.. This is an older body now...... and an older body on drugs (can't you see that as an ad on TV)

oh i don't know where this is going......... but my mind is sorting it out.. i am sorta poking different parts of the brain and waiting to see if it responds.. i have tried the physical stuff to stir up reactions - including the favoured vibrator (the hitachi) with not much success.. maybe it is time to try some hot hot writings/stories... jump start my imagination and see what happens.. either way i am not giving up on this old body.......... i refuse to give up !!!


2 comments:

Buffalo said...

Unless there is a whole lot more that you're not saying, which is always possible, you have absolutely no reason to be worried yet.

I wonder how many women have heard, "This hasn't ever happened to me before." And I wonder how many times it was true.

There are ebbs and flows to everything.

littleone said...

no no Buffalo ..nothing else i am not saying..........

you have to understand.. it just feels very weird .. this 'in limbo' space i seem to be visiting...... very very weird.....

morningstar (owned by Warren)