Tuesday, May 22, 2007

where do we come from?

i wasn't all that sure how to start this post.. or even if i should.....

i was raised in a religious household... we went to church every Sunday and sat in the family pew (back in the days when there were such things as family pews) the adults sat between the kids to keep us quiet.. we went to Sunday School. Sunday was a day of no card playing, no TV, no radio. It was a day of quiet reflection and dinner at grandma's house..... always dinner at grandma's house with all the other cousins and Aunts and Uncles. Every single Sunday... no deviation from the pattern for any reason.

i was married in the church and raised my children in the church. My children went to Sunday School.. i went to church.. my husband slept in. Sometime around the time of the confirmation of one of my girls.. i started to question organised religion the way most teenagers do.. one big difference.. my eyes were open.. i was not rebelling against my parents.. i was "seeing" organised religion for what it really was... A few years later i left the church.. the organised part of it..... it didn't totally leave me - the religion part.. there are still times that i feel a pang of some sort ....... mostly around Christmas time.. i loved the Christmas carols, the Christmas services..the quiet reverence.. the services were full of hope and joy and happiness... but i don't miss the church. and i am betting it doesn't much miss me.

Yesterday i received a url for something called Christian Domestic Discipline. i worked my way through their site.. i wondered which came first.. (the egg or the chicken kind of question) did some group decide they rather liked being spanked / giving spankings and the group evolved.. or did someone actually believe the bible verses.. In the introduction / explanation of their site they say "
A domestic discipline marriage is one in which one partner in the marriage is given authority over the other and has the means to back the authority, usually by spanking."

Now i read through their site.. and realized it didn't sound a whole lot different in many ways from what Sir and i have / strive to have... and it got me thinking.. which came first.. the egg or the chicken?? or was it a bunch of kinky people who couldn't quite rationalize their desire for spankings within religion and tweaked the scriptures a bit to make it all fit .. in god's eye?? In my humble opinion that happens way too often with religion we make the scriptures say what we want.

Anyway.. i don't want anyone getting all bent out of shape here and think i am running down a perfectly innocent group of religious people.. i was just wondering which came first.. the spankings or the scripture.... i was wondering if my Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents, Parents indulged in spankings for discipline with the blessing of the church?? This site made me curious.. made me realize how and why i have read from time to time posts from some who offer an explanation of why it is ok to be involved in BDSM and still be a Christian (i have never read their informative emails.. just scanned the subject line)

And last but not least.. i went to the CDD store and drooled over some of their "pantaloons" and the "chemise"...

i won't be going back to organized religion any time soon....... but i may be asking for permission to order some pantaloons..


Buffalo said...

In the original the verse about "spare the rod, spoil the child" included or wife. The wife of the dude translating got a case of frosty ass when she read it and cleverly washed away the offending words.

Little known fact. A few of us truly gifted bible scholars are the only ones who know that.

swan said...

There's a lot of "DD" that is of this flavor at some intensity level or another: much of it needing some sort of "justification" to make the spanking want/need/desire seem more OK or more civilized or more sanitized. One way or another, if spanking is sanctioned by God, it is not in the same "wicked" category as that stuff that those evil BDSM'ers do. This is the path that I managed to drag the former spouse down for awhile until it got clear that he wasn't into it, and it wasn't doing it for me anyway.

Whatever. I find the mental contortions interesting I suppose, but glad I have shed "most" of that baggage.


Anonymous said...

Hi! I'm an author on the CDD blog and I post on the forum too, so I thought that I could answer your question (at least for me). In my case, neither the spanking or the verses came first. It was the SUBMISSION that interested me. I researched BDSM, found out I was a sub; but most of the things that come with BDSM weren't right for me. So I focused on the D/s & power exchange aspect of it (with a little bondage thrown in!) My husband ignored my wish for dominance outside of the bedroom, so I tried to be submissive without his leadership, and it felt manipulative. I became somewhat interested in spanking after reading so much about it on the BDSM sites.
I gave up for a while, and then went back and started researching spanking in marriage, and found DD. Husband still did not go for any exchange of power. I did manage to get him to play at spanking though, and found out that the IDEA of it turned me on; the dominance of it. But not the actual spanking. (So sad...always up for new ways to enjoy sex!)

Through all of this, I still considered myself a Christian. And my husband is too.

Much later... I was THRILLED to find submission as God's plan for wives! Why? Because I could pray about it, and lean on God, and HE could teach my husband how to be a HOH! YAY! (I know you don't believe this way; I'm just telling you what went on in my head)
I did Bible studies, and paired that with how to behave submissively (some of it learned from BDSM), and Voila. He became the HOH here. Months later, my husband was showing me just how much being dominant turned him on. And me too. Plus, as you know, the vulnerability that comes with allowing someone else to have control over you; and how when you trust and let go, you LOVE them so much more. And are loved more in return.
Without God, I never would have had the persistence to learn to submit without leadership or dominance. And I was too terrified of messing up the good marriage that I did have to change myself without God's okay.

BUT, I still got emotional sometimes, and I would yell and be all disrespectful. Finally, I told my husband that spanking was an option he could use and that I would never ever call the cops on him should he use it. (and just the thought that he might helped me to control myself better)
He hasn't actually spanked me yet.
But today, for example, he made a comment about spanking a shrewish female character on a movie we were watching.
Forgive the rambling, please? I've been up all night.

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