In my post on Sunday about the difficulties of finding a balance between BDSM and vanilla life.. there were 2 excellent comments that really (i feel) deserve to be answered in a post..
The first was Buffalo. He wrote:
My phrasing of this question may be lacking in clarity so ... Is a 24/7/365 life of anything desirable? Would that not lessen the intensity and, thus, the pleasures taken and make it mundane?
There is a big part of me that fully understands and agrees with Buffalo....... doesn't ANYTHING 24/7 365 days of the year eventually become mundane / boring??
BUT having said that....... and knowing myself as well as i do.. i have to say.. BDSM hasn't - after all these years - become boring.. there is always one more thing i want to try.. one more limit to push.. the very act .. or need to push those limits can become addictive... as much as - or more than - the endorphin rush.
Sometimes i let that need.. that desire.. rule my mind and my life.. i want it all and i want it NOW! i find myself looking ahead at the weekends.. at the activities that are planned and wishing Sir and i could just lock ourselves away for those precious 48 hours or so we have together.. It just isn't enough time !!! And that need/desire has been my undoing. It has made me cranky and irritable and wishing for something more........ the simple protocols that we have aren't enough....... i realized i wanted the impossible dream........some fantasy life.
That is what is wrong.. allowing the fantasy of what could be.. ruin the moments that are. Once i had given myself a little attitude adjustment.. once i took a good hard look at myself and my desires.. and put my fantasies on the shelf where they belonged.. they can fuel my Fictional Journey .. not my REAL journey.... since then .. things have been rolling along smoother and i am a much happier more contented sub.........
It has nothing to do with 24/7 365.. it has a whole lot more to do with fantasy versus reality... i think.
and the second was my dear friend drakor who wrote:
My writings are of a perfect fantasy so it could be 24/7/365 but you and I know some components of life stop the possibility of what we want. In short first I would have to find a Dominant that is close to being evil hmmm well there goes that pipe dream (LOL).
AS far as the intensity buffalo, it is not all about the intensity it is more about the calm of slavery that attracts
now drakor.. dear friend........ i wonder why it is that female Dommes seem to be so... umm.. unevil?? i would love to have a female Domme comment on that.. because as you know .. i have to agree with you.. the Dommes we have seen together.. that you have experienced.. that we have watched together.. seem to leave something to be desired.
IF you did find an evil Domme drakor.. do you think that your fantasies would intimidate Her just a little?? Sometimes i think my fantasies/demands on Sir may have - not intimidated Him - but maybe stalled His creative thought process a little bit. A different type of performance anxiety. AND no matter how hard i try to rationalize it .. it is just a little bit like topping from the bottom....... i think.
But i do have to sort of disagree with you about the calmness of being a slave......... it is reassuring to turn over total control....... but isn't that more in fantasy land?? especially if the slave must work outside the house. IT is calming to know one's place.. but infrequency makes it difficult to find that calm place easily. And if the slave is always finding himself/herself dissatisfied with what the Dom/me is doing.. how evil they are or aren't... wishing and hoping for something that isn't .. how calm is that??
i prefer to say i enjoy the challenge of being a slave/submissive.... the anticipation.. and yes even the balancing act... which is quite truthfully .. anything but calming.. challenging maybe.. calming nope - not for me....
and for some reason..... after writing all these thoughts/words/ musings.. i have this song running through my head (NO Sir.. not Alice the Camel!!)
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can't
Move a rubber tree plant
But he's got high hopes, hes got high hopes
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes
So any time your gettin low
stead of lettin go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant