feverish thoughts..

which is just really another way of saying bouncing ball........one big difference is that i AM still feverish .. so there may be a tad more weirdness to my thoughts today .. more than usual i mean........

yesterday as i lay in a cold sweat wishing i could just die.. i was thinking about all the stupid sayings we have for being sick.. weak as a kitten.. sick as a dog.. and then it stopped.. WHAT??!! we only have two totally useless sayings to describe illness?? what is THAT about?? but i can attest to the fact that i have been as weak as a kitten AND as sick as a dog.. and a few other things too.. the pain ohhhhhh my god the pain in the body has been debilitating.. brought me to tears when even the kitten crawled across my body for a snuggle... Buffalo says 5 days and i should be on my feet again.. more or less.. well i am on day 4.. so only 2 more days of THIS.. THIS whatever to survive..

and as much as i hate to bore you all with the continuing saga or maybe drama over at Freedom's Place... but a 'vanilla' wrote an extremely good piece sometime over the weekend that made me sit up and take notice.. (well sit up as much as i can with this pain ridden body!) i am parphasing here.. he said he wasn't into BDSM.. and that he didn't want to read about it...... yet there it was.. in his face... and all i could think was about our rule of consensual...... we don't play in public so why am i trying to 'play' in public??? wrong wrong wrong.. 20 lashes with a wet noodle for me.. (because truthfully folks a wet noodle is all this body can handle right now) He made note of the fact that he was allowing his real face to be put on this blog.. that he wanted his children to come there to read... and wow it just kinda hit me like a punch in the stomach.. He is right.. i do NOT have my real picture up there... i do not encourage my children to read there or here for that matter.. and THEY know all about BDSM.. i have decided to withdraw my BDSM entries from Freedom's Place... it just isn't consensual or fair...

On a brighter note.. i did enjoy the Butterfly shop that The Michael created for me.. so when i get His permission i may just bring it over to my fictional journey.. and play with it there.. somedays i think it would be fun.. in real life.. to run a Bed and Breakfast dungeon.. come for the night.. play to your heart's content.. good hearty breakfast in the morning to send you on your way........

And i was thinking why we all blog........ our moment in the sun?? our frustrated Hemmingway's shining through?? The one thing i have noticed is on the (what i call the "real") blogs we talk about life from every vantage point.. the good and the bad and the ugly... and people comment especially on the bad bits.. "i am so sorry".. "sending you hugs" that sort of thing.. i have done the same thing.. when words fail you .. sometimes it is enough just to know there are folks out there reading and offering some platitudes of comfort.. i wonder why some people feel the need to be blunt and almost hurting in their comments?? they claim they are being honest.. and true friends and better than those who offer platitudes........ but personally i just want to tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine......... which i have been known to do.. sadly .. and lost a couple of "friends" in the process... and now i am watching one of those past friends struggling.. and i daren't offer even a "hug" for support.. i would like to offer some hard learned advise....... but i won't do that either.. my dear mother taught me "never put yourself on their level"..

And on that note dear friends.. i will take my weary body back off to bed.. with juice and pills and heating pads......... may the flu gods fly over your homes and visit your enemies.....