Thursday, August 24, 2006

blurred lines

When we were at camp...... Sir bought me this button.. and i loved it and laughed over it.. everyone laughed over it.. BUT today i was doing some thinking about "stuff"....... and i realized how blurred the lines have become.

Over 5 years ago Sir and i sat down and went over limits.. what i wanted to do.. what i NEVER wanted to even think about doing... what i wanted to try. (and yeah.. Sir had limits too.. though we didn't actually discuss them).

Now 5+ years later i am sporting a badge that declares i don't remember asking for this... and know what ?? i don't. The lines have become blurred... the "i want to try that" and the "i NEVER want to try that" and the "i LOVE to do that" have all blurred together and i am left wondering is there anything i won't try??? And i bet even Sir's lines have blurred somewhat over the years.

In the beginning i think it is important to have limits and lines.. but i also believe after time it is right that they should become blurred. For Sir and i, living this lifestyle is not a game.. it is not reserved for the bedroom and some kinky sex.. it is about protocols and whips and chains and raising the bar constantly. Sometimes i wonder why raise the bar?? If i am doing well at this level .. what is it that makes me crave more.. is it the challenge?? What makes Sir want to raise the bar?? And i wonder where will it all end??? the hair brush experiment really made me sit back and question myself... and the limits..

if i scrunch up my eyes real tight.. i can almost make out those lines that were there 5+ years ago...... almost.....................

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