weary

i am weary today... in my heart. Know what i mean?? when you just feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It doesn't help that the song "bridge over troubled waters" keeps going round and round in my head either. Those lyrics have always made tears come to my eyes....

This morning i posted to my fictional journal... what i am half hoping is my last daily post for the summer. Yup .. summer's over kids! well almost over - next Wednesday will find me back in the swing of things again.

After posting the story i went to drag up all the camping gear. Sir and i are off on Friday for our yearly BDSM camping excursion. (though this year we are heading south of the border instead of west ) And i felt a surge of excitment at the thought of a weekend away camping in the woods with other BDSMers..

BUT in the back of my mind was our dear friend Cloud....... he has been ill - seriously ill - for a little over 2 weeks now. He is finally home from hospital but has requested no phone calls - no contact. He is just too sick. Last year he made the journey with us to camp.. and each item i brought up from the basement brought back memories of last year's trip.

Then i heard that a dear dear friend lost his dad this morning. What words do you send to someone who has suffered such a loss?? i cried as i wrote the letter. i can only pray to the gods that be to hold him close during this painful time.

Then i decided i really needed to sit outside in the sunshine and read. Quiet time in my secret garden. The phone rang. It was Cloud - his voice so weak i barely recognised him. The infection is running rampant through his body and the miracle drugs just aren't working their magic. He wants me to come tomorrow and pick up bags ......... all His BDSM toys so that .. in case.. god forbid.. his family won't have to deal with them. i didn't miss a beat.. didn't pause once.. agreed to pick them up tomorrow and keep them safe here until He once again is up to using them. (god let that day come quickly!!)

And the song goes on......

When you're weary, feeling small,

When tears are in your eyes,

I will dry them all;

I'm on your side.

when times get rough

And friends just cant be found,

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.