At camp last weekend Sir purchased this little teflon paddle from Master Cal. Master Cal said it wouldn't take much umph to use it... it had a nice little OUCH factor without the umph... Master Cal doesn't lie. This simple lil teflon paddle held a whole lot of OUCH factor when Sir used it on Friday evening. So much OUCH factor that it had me in tears - tears that stopped the minute the paddling stopped - something i still haven't figured out.. it still hurt so why did the tears stop so suddenly - only to resume again when the paddling resumed?? And much to my surprise and i think Sir's it bruised me...
Sir was proud or happy - i am truthfully not sure.. and yeah i was happy too.. BUT this morning - Monday morning before i head off to work i am wondering why is it we both were happy my ass was bruised??
Back when having my ass spanked/flogged/whipped and paddled was new.. i marked so well that there were times i couldn't play for days afterwards - so black and blue was i..... Yes this paddle marked me.. on Friday night.. but it didn't mark me when Sir used it again on Saturday and again on Sunday... not one lil mark... now what is that about?? !!! It used to be .. in my silly subbie brain.. some sort of gold star - the bruising.. i had taken what Sir gave out and i had the marks to prove it. Sir is not going easier on me - if anything quite the contrary - so why don't i mark anymore??? AND why is it so important to be marked??
i proudly wear Sir's permanent marks on my body - a tattoo and a piercing.. so why do bruises count?? why are they sought after like some Holy Grail??? i am beginning to believe we are gonna fill walls and walls with toys that are guaranteed to leave marks only to be disappointed. Maybe my ass just won't mark anymore........ pointe finale.
On Sunday afternoon Sir used the teflon paddle in a way He has never used any toy.... and it excited me. He had me lie on my tummy on my pillow on the floor and He sat beside me.. wrapping an arm around me to hold me in place and i wrapped an arm around Him just to feel Him close to me.. to be able to soak up His scent.. to feel His heart beating... and then He went to work on my ass with the paddle.. light teasing taps that gradually built and built and built until He was laying on 2 or 3 or 4 real good whallops before stopping and using the cool edges to tease my sensitive spots - like the small of my back, the crack between my ass cheeks, when i was moaning softly and actually lifting my ass up for the next soft stroke .. Sir would start the tap tap tap light strokes - building building building to the last 2 to 4... sharp... hard...rock me to my very soul strikes .. the type that took my breath away and left tears streaming down my face. and i loved it.. i was dripping wet and wishing that i had a vibrator or His hand inside of me.. deep inside of me where the heat builds...
This morning .. despite all the paddling... i have no new bruises.. the one from Friday is fading.. (and yeah Sir paid particular attention to IT on the weekend - trying .. i am sure .. to enlarge it) but more important than bruises on my ass.. i have a warmth deep inside of me and an image of Sir holding me close .. of His smell and His heart beat.. as He teased and tickled and beat me... that is an image that will not soon fade...
so why the need for bruising??? for welts?? for marks?? do they show how good Sir is at beating?? do they show how good i am at receiving?? are they really important??
W/we will just have to keep on trying new toys, methods and other things until you are bruised like your other sister subbies are....
ReplyDeleteSir,
Owner of morningstar
Marks to me and this might just be me are a sign of a good paddling by the Dom/Domme. Since we do not fly as our subs do it does give us a trophy to show off an accomplishment you could say.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that a few people from last weekend have some marks. I am sure some Dom/Dommes are telling stories of what they inflicted and what their sub could take and when some disblief is shown well a simple drop of the pants or raise of the skirt displays what the Dom/Domme says to be true.
As for not marking well you amaze those who try as to what you can take and look how much fun Sir and you will have trying to find that certain toy or stroke that will do it.
As soon as my health no long puts limitations on my activities I will settle down in my work shop and see what I can produce to help in the quest for marks. hmmmm well I have a thought already hmmm catch you soon
less warm up and a baby aspirin both increase bruising...
ReplyDeleteSome refer to marks as "badges of honour". I personally have never sought them, but by the same token I wouldn't begrudge them if inflicted by my Mistress.
ReplyDeleteTo a certain extent my masochism is as close as i get to submission, and the "badges of honour" are the only real proof of my submission. There are those that say i'm not a true submissive, and i keep telling myself i'm not really a masochist. Somewhere in the middle is the truth.
I don't know if this is an odd way to look at it, but I almost feel that marks are sort of a gift from my Dom, that they show His love for me...
ReplyDeleteHere's what I think.
ReplyDeletePain is something that is almost impossible to communicate. It's completely unique to every individual in forms of tolerance, acceptance, reaction, etc. It's one thing that nobody can accurately or completely *know* about another person.
All we have in common, are bruises. Welts. Cuts. Scars. It's not just us bdsm-ers who view our marks as trophies. Showing off scars starts with little kids. Remember kissing boo-boos? Remember the attention you either paid, or got paid, when the boo-boo in question was bleeding or otherwise more shocking than normal?
So I can say "that paddle hurts" but nobody understands the pain I feel. But show a bruise and everyone knows what it takes to get a bruise. It's some sort of commonality. It's a connection. "oh yes! I SEE that it did hurt!" It's validation.
I used to bruise and welt easy too, in the beginning. Now? He practically has to kill me. (or so it feels) It's my theory that we are all assigned a certain number of ass-bruises for a lifetime and you and I have used ours up. :-D
Really, I'm sure there's a physiological reason to explain it. Hell, maybe our little blood vessels are too tough to break down anymore. Maybe there's a tiny layer of scar tissue. Maybe its because I have extra padding on my ass that wasn't there a few years ago..LOL
What a great topic. :D
kaya
Well, they at least prove that you're not out searching for a better deal now, don't they?
ReplyDeleteAside from that I don't get the significance of bruises. Yes, he left marks. Does that make you better than anyone else? Or Him? I hardly think so