Sunday Sentiments

 

 

Try It On

 

 

This morning I was thinking about my 'thankful for' at the end of my blog each day... and I thought it doesn't fit.. not on me... it's truthfully not my style..and I'm going to drop it.

That got me thinking about all the things I have tried and dropped cause it just didn't fit me.  I tried being a 'slave' - OHHHHH how I wanted it ... how I was sure it was a perfect fit for me... after quite a few years I realized it wasn't me - if I was gonna be honest it didn't fit at all !!!

I had more than a few people push me to Dom...... and I tried it -- but oh dear god!!  that was a terrible fit!!!

Then I realized I wanted to try poly - it seemed like a perfect fit for me... I thought it would be the best of both worlds -- time to be me and free and time to serve ... I tried it I honestly did.. it helps I guess that I am not the jealous sort... and learned to share a long time ago (OR maybe I just didn't feel the need to commit fully to one person) BUT after awhile I realized it wasn't that good a fit either...... 

I had requests from folks to write some fiction and I did.... I even had a separate blog for my fiction called "Behind the Screen" ...... but it wasn't a good fit... not really.  Oh I wrote a lot of fiction (or maybe fantasies I had) - but more than not I felt embarrassed by what I wrote and It just didn't feel like a good fit.......... 

There have been more 'fittings' some good some not so good..... I used to feel like I was failing when I would drop something and move on ... but over the years I have come to see it as more of a positive ...  after all how boring would it be if we picked one comfortable outfit - and purchased multiple outfits the exact same - same colour same size same fit?? No Life was meant to be lived to the fullest .......

Life is good when you can try on all sorts of different experiences ... 

 

 

 

Anniversary

 

 

Today marks the one year anniversary since WHO declared Covid a global pandemic... gives new meaning to the "we're all in this together" doesn't it??

One year ago the schools closed and I volunteered to home school the little one - how difficult was this going to be right?? a couple of weeks..... no wait a couple of months.. no wait till the end of the school year.  I supervised math and grammar and reading and writing in the mornings.. and then in the afternoon we 'travelled around the world' learning about different countries.. different cultures.. different foods.  BUT she'd go back to school in September right? one year in and I am still teaching ......

Shopping once a week - but mostly ordering online and Sir Steve would pick up on his way home from work....... we'd get 75% of our order.. and weird things would be missing like milk?!  and once I asked for fruit - any fruit - and we got none.  So one hour a week in the grocery store - masked - hand sanitizing like mad.. scrubbing hands when I finally got home...

Family birthdays / holidays - standing on the front lawn - keeping our 2 meter distance - in the cold and the rain.. just to see their faces.  Christmas done via facetime.... and I thought Christmas was loud and confusing before!!!

We were allowed to move to the country in May .. and we stayed till September - still isolating but at least it was in the country.... a small bright spot in the darkness.

And now - vaccines and hope - and anticipation ............. watching the numbers go down in our small town... celebration......... AND then this week ... and we have 5 outbreaks in Long Term Care homes.  F I V E !!!  weren't they all supposed to have received vaccines??  AND our numbers are soaring and the health unit is saying they will put us back in the red zone (don't ask - they have colour coded everything!)  Feeling there is no end to this......... feeling of desperation - weren't we all promised everyone vaccinated by September??  Is it ever going to improve ?? (note I did NOT say 'going to end' - cause it's not - you know that right?)

Wondering what one year from now will hold for us all............ 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 spring .... and the promise of renewal that comes with it

Practicing......

 

 Apparently August 10th is National Lazy Day -- Being the perfectionist I am I decided I needed to get some practice in.........

Can We talk?

 (for those that need a warning -- this is it!  Gonna talk about sex today - cheeky grin)

 I was thinking about orgasms yesterday and how my body has different types of orgasms... and that got me wondering if I was the only one.. or if everyone has different orgasms... and that got me thinking about male orgasms... and the ability to have one.. or the ability to have sex........ and that got me thinking........... ok ok you get the idea I had a bouncing ball day....... 

I have been blessed with the ability to have an orgasm easily -- multiple orgasms actually.  AND I know a lot of women who don't or can't .... so I don't like to ask too many questions cause yeah I am lucky so shut up kind of thing.  

BUT seriously I do have questions -- like I can have orgasms by stimulation to my clit... and I can have orgasms from pain.. and I can have orgasms from penetration.. BUT they are not all equal.  The first two are good but not earth shattering - and to me they're a bit like Chinese food (wait for it !!)  2 hours after - what I call - external orgasms I am hornier than before... aching... throbbing horny.  The BEST orgasm for me is from penetration...... feeling stretched and full ... him pounding away inside... OMG that's even better !!!  Am I weird? or do other women have the same responses?

Then there are males....... OMG talk about a mystery!  When I was much younger I figured 'guys' were easy to satisfy... never seemed to take much ya know?  BUT then I didn't know much about males or male anatomy.  A few years ago I met a male who couldn't physically have sex with his wife...... not the usual ED ... but ED because only porn could please him.. and I'm gathering (though I never asked the pointed questions) pretty over the top porn.  I was stunned.  It was one of those 'mmmmmmmm' moments ya know?
And then there are the males who can 'go' for hours..... HOURS!!  which sounds fantastic BUT is it really?? and what if they can't have an orgasm?  I wonder if it is because they are stressed over pleasing their partner ... or what ??? AND why do males equate their masculinity with their sexual prowess? (STOP!  I think I've got this one - not much different from women who worry about not being sexy enough right? )

Any thoughts on my questions?? Do you have any questions you're too shy to ask out loud but could ask here where no one knows you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sunshine and warming weather and spring being just around the corner!