AWOL - edited for humour

ok so we all know what a long rough week I had.  Saturday dawned and I just sorta kinda fell apart. I moved from my bed to the sofa and slept the morning away.  I woke up long enough to make some lunch and then collapsed back on the sofa.  

I was so tired - more than tired - exhausted.... body mind and soul.  I was down... down for the count..... I'm not even sure I am ready to talk about everything that went wrong last week... mundane stuff.. but it cut me to my core.  Gossip again.. that was spread to my parents and from the parents to my principal... AND this time my principal believed it...... and all I could think was I can't protest too much.... how does one fight mean spirited gossip when it's my word against someone else's - and I am not even allowed to know who????


Then my expense account (for over 400$) was given back to me - cause one receipt was NOT itemized.......... WTF???!!!  do they honestly believe I would line my pockets???!!!  I was am so insulted, 


Add to that my lil girl who is scared "mommy's gonna go to the sky" climbing onto my lap again (cause mom is too weak to see her and her sister).......... add to that 2 six year olds kissing and fondling each other and I had to speak to the parents..... add to that long days... and I just had nothing left.


Then Saturday afternoon - late afternoon - I got up off the sofa to get a cup of coffee and nearly fell over......... The pain in my groin that shot down to my knee was so severe.. what the hell was that???!!!  I took advil - I took more advil - and the pain just got worse and worse.  A pulled groin muscle (something I have never had so have no idea what it feels like) from lying around napping all day???!!!   At that point I was looking for someone to accept my resignation from the human race.


Sunday morning the pain in the groin was worse - I could hardly get out of bed.  My head hurt.  I felt very sorry for myself and very alone.  But alone was what I wanted .... I am such lousy company when I am out of sorts - physically and emotionally.  

And being me... decided the pity party had gone on long enough - sore groin or not - the house was gonna get cleaned and the laundry done.  And that's exactly what I did.  Strange as it sounds - but cleaning house centers me - and gets me out of the doom and gloom moods that come over me every so often.


So here it is Monday again........ my house is clean ...my clothes are clean.... and that is really all I have control over. The pain in my groin has subsided to a dull ache.   I have a new itemized receipt from the jewelry store... and my schedule for the week.  I will do my job with my head held high - because I know.. *I* know - that the gossips are wrong..... and ultimately that is all that really counts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

eldest daughter posted the following pic this morning over on Facebook - so who wants to be my best friend???

TGIF

I don't think I have ever been so happy to see a Friday - as I am today.

It has been the week from hell.  I am exhausted with absolutely no energy left - not even to get me through today.

Too many problem kids........ too many gossipy adults .... too many words .... too many jobs.... way too much paper............. 

Who knew?

I am not your typical woman..... First off I don't much like chocolate - it's true I don't!!  and am still surprised I haven't been drummed out of the women's guild because of it !

I don't like shoes - no I don't.  I prefer bare feet - and in winter my ugly mukluk boots.

And I HATE shopping - with a passion!  I will avoid it at all costs - except when I HAVE to... and then I take days to work myself up into the mindset of actually dragging myself through shops.  


Recently W and I were discussing my inability to barter with someone.... or in my words ...cheat them .  I don't ask if that's the best price - I don't ask what they can do for me.... I see something I like or need .. I buy it........ pure and simple.


Yesterday I HAD to go shopping for school.  I needed a slew of arts and crafts supplies.  But more than that I had to get 2 retirement gifts for ladies who are retiring this year.  I was given a budget of $150 each.  I wanted to purchase silver bracelets (they both love bracelets) and have the bracelets engraved with the name of the school.  Seemed like a good idea when I had it.


Except.........


When I actually went shopping no one .. and I mean NO ONE ... had silver bracelets suitable for engraving.  


Finally after more jewelry shops than I have ever been in - I found one that had 2 different silver bracelets that would work.  (Not exactly what I was looking for - but do-able)   


So I asked to see the first one.  It was very nice - and had a nice wide piece that could be engraved.  I asked to see the second bracelet - It did not have the same space to engrave - but I thought the underneath side might be wide enough to handle some very small intricate engraving.


I asked how much the bracelets were.  I should have known they were expensive considering the price tags weren't showing.  The first bracelet was $159.99 the second one was $169.99.  My heart dropped.  I told the saleswoman I was sorry but they were out of my budget.  I would have to keep looking.


She said "how much money do you have for these retirement gifts?" I lied (cause I knew I still had to pay for engraving ) and said "$100.00 each" She told me to wait and went got the manager.  The manager asked if I would be paying cash.  I said "good god no.. credit card".  And then added it was ok.. I would keep looking.  She - the manager said - hang on a minute and started punching numbers into the cash register.  Finally she looked at me and said "I will give the two of them to you for a total - including taxes - of $200.00"  I was shocked!!  and of course quickly agreed.  I wanted the shopping OVER.


Then I went to the engraving shop.  The first bracelet was ok to engrave.  The second one not so much.  The first one could be done by machine - the second had to be done by hand.  The first one would be $1 a letter and would be ready in an hour .... the second one - double that $2 a letter, and would take a couple of days.  I didn't want to have to come back in 2 days........ so I said "right - forget engraving the second one - just engrave the first one".  The girl seemed surprised.  She then said "ok ok $1 a letter for both bracelets".  I said "no no never mind - I don't want to come back in a day or so" So she said - "go have lunch I'll have it done in 2 hours".  


I went to have lunch - but I still had a HUGE shopping list to complete.  Unfortunately the shops I had to go to next were no where near this mall.  I was getting antsy and wanted to get going.  I finished lunch in under an hour and went back to the engraving shop.  I poked my head in and said "No chance they are done yet is there??" The girl said "no no... I have the first one done but not the second".  So I wondered off and priced new cell phones.   35 minutes later I wondered back.  I figured I would sit on the bench outside the shop and wait.  My feet were killing me....... even in my ugly mukluks.


The girl motioned me into the shop.  She had finished both bracelets.  I hoped in the car and headed off to do MORE shopping.  But I had a big grin on my face.  I had been willing to spend $300 on two silver bracelets.  I had managed to pay $232.00 without any bartering or bickering!!!


I spent approximately 4 hours shopping and had to head back to work - I had not finished......... and am now faced with yet another day of shopping - but I did feel good that I had come in under budget on the retirement gifts.  BUT for the record... my shopping deals did nothing to change my attitude towards shopping........nope not at all !!

Early morning........

It's that early morning time again - when all the world is still asleep - and I am sitting in the dead quiet contemplating the day ahead - and some of the days behind........... 

I am cursed though you know.  Today I have a day of "running around" - out to the Island to check on my lil school - off to the shops to try and find two retirement gifts for current staff - then off to the dollar store to buy piles and piles ......... and more piles.... of supplies for my kiddies at my BIG school - and then if there's time - stop and buy groceries for me before heading back to school for 3 this afternoon.  I could have used a good night's sleep - I could have used the extra hour of sleep - but no.......... this was the morning I woke at 4 to stare at the clock slowly ticking off the minutes till the alarm.  It's gonna be a longggggggggggg day.


About 2 weeks ago (I think it was) I had an episode during the lunch hour........ where one child shared a granola bar with another child (against rules...... there is no sharing of food) and of course as the fates would have it.... the granola bar had peanuts in it...... and the child who took a bite of said granola bar had an allergy to peanuts.  


BUT that isn't the story (really) ......... I spent the next two days drilling in to the kiddies why there is no sharing of food... why when we share food bad things can happen.... don't share food... don't share food... don't share food.  Was the message I drilled into their lil heads.

And instead of getting better - the incidents of sharing food sky rocketed.  I was pulling my hair out.  What was going on????

Well on Monday we had our workshop for my staff - my untrained staff .  I of course was going to attend - show support and all that ........... and one of the lessons of the morning was how to phrase things positively.  To banish the word "NO" from our vocabulary.  So "NO RUNNING in the hallways" - becomes "Thank you for walking"  ..........so "No yelling" becomes "Please use indoor voices".  because when we say no no no ... the kids do it anyway........ in fact the kids do it more.  


So my lectures on NO SHARING ....... were a waste of time.  What the children took away from my serious talks - was not how serious it could be - not how a child had been rushed to the hospital ...........nope the one word that they took from all the words I spoke was.......... you guessed it ........ "SHARE"  Thus the increase in sharing food.  What I should have said was "We eat our OWN food" ............ 


And I have been thinking about that........ hell I have proof that their theory is correct....and it fascinates me.  And it doesn't just work that way with children - but with everyone.  Negatives do not work.  Use positives and people will hear you and be more inclined to follow the rules - direction - whatever term you want to use.

And it seems to me - in the early hours of this morning - that we humans are weird creatures - "NO" makes us do something more - and "YES" makes us comply.  Subliminal messages we don't even know we are giving............ 

Then I got to thinking about all the "negative" messages I hear - we all hear - every day.  I was thinking about the messages I have received ....... like the stop smoking messages.  I have heard "It's really hard to do most people fail and have to stop smoking over and over again".  "You can't do it alone - you need help"   I wonder if people heard - "You can stop smoking... You are stronger than the cigarettes - You can do it" if the rate of successful stop smoking campaigns would be higher.


Same as losing weight or exercising more.  You can't do it by yourself - you need help - you need diet plans - diet pills.  You won't keep up exercising by yourself - you need a buddy / partner to do it .......   I wonder what would happen if everyone took the attitude that You CAN do anything you put my mind to....... yeah that's what I am wondering - in this early morning when nothing much else is filling my head................

'Our Town'

Ok .. so obviously this isn't a picture of OUR party on Saturday evening... but it does come close to offering the crowd feeling and some of the bizarre outfits.

Come take a stroll with me through the crowds of people and play that took place on Saturday evening........ 




The first thing you may notice is the number of males in black leather pants, vests and hats.  For me they are comforting.  In my mind, they stand for the Leather Community - a community I belong to.... a community that believes in and lives with: protocols and rituals and whips and chains.  They are for me the foundation of this BDSM community - they are after all - according to history - where we all came from.

At both ends of the club/play space are sofas with bodies strewn all over....... these bodies are dressed to impress........ mostly scantily clad - lots of skin showing.  If you stand and watch (it's ok to stand and watch - they LOVE an audience) you will soon see a lot of kissing and touching..... and that woman kneeling at her "Dom's" feet - well look closer - she isn't just kneeling because she is a good submissive - look ...... see... she is actually giving him a blow job as he fondles the breasts of a woman sitting beside him.

Let's move on...... I have little patience for this sort of behaviour - I guess I am old and prudish........... 


Come look - over here - on the massage table.  There is a woman wrapped in saran wrap - semi mummified.  Ahh wax play - you might enjoy watching this...... see how the dripping wax hitting her nipples makes her back arch??? she is enjoying that...... yes yes.. it isn't as intense as it would be without the saran wrap - but she is enjoying the pain she receives - that is what is important.  What?? she is what??? move let me see....... You are right... her "Dom" is encouraging her to squirt ....... DUCK!!!  god she can squirt some distance can't she???  Now I know why there isa thick pad under her body... to sop up all those bodily fluids......... 


Let's move along............. 


Over here - on the table - see the girl lying on her stomach - notice the half moon forming on her shoulder...... watch what the Dom is doing... yes that is a metal leather puncher - yes that is a small blow torch - yes yes he is heating up the tip and applying the metal point to her shoulder -  it's called cell popping.  I hear it doesn't hurt as much as one would think........ maybe one day I would like to try that......... 
ewwwwwwww can you smell that??? it is the scent of burning flesh......... did I say I might like to try that???? I may have to rethink that......... ewwww can't stand the smell .. let's move along.........

There are a lot of real young ones here tonite... that one over there in the bowler hat... cute as a button and just beaming... she looks like a kid in the candy store.  It's her very first ever event and she is soaking in the energy bombarding her.  And that one over there.. with the cowboy hat on... she is bouncing.. ready to find a willing victim... anxious to start the fun.  

And over here.. look at this young couple.  They are young and new too... and have made good use of pervertables.  Those are wooden meat skewers he has clumped together and tied with an elastic in one hand.... and in the other - a dog brush.  See how gently he drags them over her back and down over her legs.. watch her wiggle.  She is enjoying it - so is he.  Look at the concentration on his face....... Newbies playing and having fun.    I love these young ones.. you can almost feel their excitement - it is so strong.  

Oh and that one.. no no .. it is not a very tall woman.  He/she is actually a truck driver in the vanilla world.  He/she is the one who insisted on bringing the journalist to the party.  AND.. I notice he/she is not keeping his word to allow people to come to them - rather he/she is insisting on introducing everyone here to this journalist friend.  Earlier - before we started this tour of "our town" he/she brought the journalist to me.. I guess I wasn't very polite.  I told them both that I had no desire to talk / be interviewd by a journalist.  I reminded him/her that I had too much too lose.  BUT he/she got his way - bringing the journalist over when W opened the toy bag.. and asking W to show the journalist our toys.... my body language spoke volumes - at least I thought it did... Unfortunately no one heard me ........ oh well......... this journalist doesn't look too main stream.


Well the tour is over.. we're back where we started..........and it is time for me to say "a la prochaine" ........