Polite Canadians??

Spankedhortic asked:
Over the years I have met a few Canadian kinksters, when they have been visiting this side of the pond. They very often seem to me to be less guarded about their lifestyles than we Europeans and even those from the USA. Is this a result of living in a less oppressive society? Is Canada, as a whole, comparatively more excepting of those of alternative lifestyles than other western countries?

That's a really tough question for me to answer Spankedhortic... because quite truthfully i am not sure. (and again i can only try to answer the question from my point of view)....

i know that i am very guarded about my lifestyle - because of my profession. Being outted as someone who likes to be tied up and beaten is not exactly something i would put on a CV for a new job....... Sir on the other hand is not as worried - his friends/co-workers are more or less aware of His lifestyle.


A few examples of kinky tolerance here in the Great White North - at least my end of it...

This past February we did have a Sex convention open to the public at our Convention center.. (Sir and i didn't go - but Sir has been before and He said it was mostly sex toys and sexy lingerie) BUT this year they were going to have "Le Dungeon" and people would be encouraged to come and ask questions of the kinksters who were attending the booth - and performing kinky acts. Sir and i were asked if we would take part in the demos.. i was told i could wear a costume and a mask.... BUT .. as everyone knows that i am with Sir... it seemed pointless to cover my identity. So we didn't participate.


There used to be a Kinky Club right next door to a police station - and kinky folk would walk by in all their glory to enter the club. You can't tell me the police didn't have a clue what was going on......... but they seemed to turn a blind eye.


Sir and i belong to a "community club" in our Nation's Capital. Twice a month they have BDSM evenings. This is a legal "club" and listed as being a private club for alternate lifestyles. BUT i know for a fact most don't publicize their involvement for the same reasons i don't. Being a private club with "dues to pay" seems to cut them some slack.


i also know that swingers clubs are now tolerated and semi legal here in Canada - which some seem to think brings us one step closer to having BDSM clubs accepted?? tolerated?? semi-legal???


Is Canada less oppressive than other countries?? Are we??? Is it our innate "politeness" (often joked about - sometimes maligned) that makes us seem more open?? Perhaps it is just our desire to mind our own business and let others mind theirs........


i don't feel i answered your question very well Spankedhortic - but unfortunately it is the best i can do.

And now for something completely different.......

i was cleaning out my files this week - looking for all the tax information.. and i went through a file i have from way back when...... on BDSM information... and i came across this "red necks for Doms" ........ i have no idea who to give credit to.. but it isn't mine !!

(you may have already read these.......... but if not.. enjoy)




If you're a dom whose idea of the "perfect scene" is a Bud Lite commercial at half time - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "red bottom" is one of them there "foreign" beers - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "a paddling" is something you do when the trolling motor on your bass boat runs out of gas - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "a slave contract" is a right you lost in the War of Northern Aggression - You ain't

If you're a domme who thinks that "a cock ring" is a place for fighting chickens - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "suspension" is something that holds up your pants - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks "bondage" is a series of spy movies - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "ball gag" is a joke about sports - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "stocks" are something rich people invest in - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "crop" is this autumn's wheat harvest - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "topping" is what Dairy Queen puts on your banana split - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "nipple clamps" are plumber's tools - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that orgasm is the art of Japanese paper folding - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that handcuffs come in only two styles: fur-lined and miniature key chain - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "blind folding" is packing away your duck blind at the end of hunting season - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "yoke" is something you dip your toast into each morning - You ain't

If you're a domme who thinks that C&BT is a place where you'd like to open a savings account - You ain't.

That's all folks !!!!!


(for now)

Let's talk about Sex..

Ok... folks.. slow down..... and pay attention...

First off.. i have always said i tell NO lies on this blog..

So when i say that Sir fucked me .. or whatever term i use (kinda depends on the mood ) i mean just that .. Sir fucked me.

He may not use His cock.. but that does not mean there are no sexual relations between us. Quite the opposite. In all honesty - i have never had such great sex!! with a cock or without ....

i just wanted to set the record straight.

The Truth about growing older.....

Ok.. it is OUR truth about growing older.. and may not apply to you or yours...... but kaya asked about our bodies giving out before the kink.. and how it will (DOES) affect us.......

The truth of the matter is .. there are already loads of problems with aging bodies.. and i am not even sure how to explain the "joys" of aging.. (without depressing myself.. Sir and everyone else!!) i said i had asked Sir's permission to have this frank discussion.. because quite truthfully - it is ok for me to talk about my old body.. but i wasn't entirely sure Sir would want me to be as honest and open about His problems....... BUT... Sir agreed.. so i am gonna try and tackle this discussion.. the best way i know how........

i have noticed some major changes in my physical appearance....... like lines and wrinkles .. thinner hair... drooping boobs.. sagging muscles.. (and yeah yeah i know i should exercise more !! it would help - and i do keep promising myself i will start..) but my god my days are long enough now... up at 5:30 working out of the house till 5:00pm most days..... dragging myself home..to clean and do laundry and run the other business i own and operate.. When i talk to the doctor about this tiredness.. her answer is.. compared to what?? and when i am forced to admit to a few years ago.. she is quick to point out i was a few years younger then......... that i have done nothing to cut back on my scheduling.. and so this weariness is to be expected !!! i have trouble accepting that... i just need 36 hour days and i am sure i could fit everything in...... as well as some time on the treadmill !!
So.. the tiredness makes playing difficult to schedule.. if it is after 9 pm i am pooped (yes even on the weekends) and i would be much happier playing in the middle of the day........ going out to clubs and play parties is hardly exciting anymore... as they don't open until 10pm.. and most don't start "playing" until midnight or later.. by that point i am so ready for bed !!! and when i am tired i get weepy.. or worse - cranky !!!

My joints hurt... and that is to be expected.. i was diagnosed a few years back (ok more than a few years) with arthritis in my lower spine and both knees .......
So intricate bondage ties are out of the question.. like hog ties... the joints just don't bend like they have to for such difficult ties... and that is a huge disappointment for Sir.. i know !!! Also with arthritis in the lower spine.. flogging my cute lil ass becomes a lesson in target practice... cause if you hit the arthritic area i shout and cry and curse....... cause it hurts and not even close to a good hurt.

My skin is dryer .. VERY dry.. and scaley and no matter what fancy creams and lotions i buy.. i just barely keep it moisturized.. dry skin cracks and bleeds .. and is soooooooo unattractive !!!
So far this has not become a problem with any form of kink.. unless you count my ugly scaly body being a total turn off.. it is for me !!!

i now have high blood pressure - and take pills daily for it.. it is controlled and nothing to worry about anymore.. but hanging upside down makes my head spin more than usual.. and is worrisome.. cause i can feel the blood pressure going up..
This became even more clear at the BDSM B&B Sir took me to for my birthday..... Sir was so excited to see they had a winch and suspension and couldn't wait to hang me upside down... BUT because of the health issue.. had to leave my head and shoulders on the ground.......... big disappointment for both of us

And i have noticed a waning in my sexual desire........ ok ok.. not a huge waning.. but still......... where i used to be horny - dripping wet .. aching horny - every single day !! Now i find i can go a week or two without any real aching desire for sex.....
the doctor says it is a normal reduction in libido due to post menopause .. and nothing to be concerned about.. with a little work it all comes back........ "a little work" .......... it was so much more fun when i needed NO work.. and was ready and able at the snap of a finger !!!
This is turning out to be a plus ......... as Sir's libido has dwindled much more than mine....... and He rarely thinks about it (well i am not sure about the 'thinking' bit).. but rarely seeks out any form of sexual activity - i will discuss that in a bit....

Sir's health has been problematic for a few years - even before i met Him. He is diabetic and has a heart condition. He takes handfuls of pills 3 times a day. He takes His blood sugar readings 3 times a day. He has had to have His gall bladder removed. His doctor watches His kidneys and liver closely - due to the diabetes. It is a worry for both of us.. not in a constant nagging way... but it is always in the back of our minds.

Between His health issues and His age......His sex drive has dwindled.......... and lately He can not achieve an erection. AND because of the heart issues has not been allowed to take Viagra or any other magic lil pill.

These issues have caused troubles for Sir and His kinky side. He has tried to explain (and done it quite well actually) how when He is beating my ass.. or sticking needles in me.. or any other kinky activity....... His mind tells Him He is horny - aroused and needing to fuck me. Yet no matter what we try.. even my very best blow jobs - nothing seems to help Him realize a full erection - or be able to maintain it.

You can well imagine how difficult this situation makes it for both of us. It is one of the main reasons i feel any session with Sir is for me.. more than for Him. i question what He gets from it .......... other than the pleasure of seeing me contented and purring like a cat. His body is telling Him He has a need - and yet the need can not be fulfilled.

The doctors have now told Him .. that He is allowed to try Viagra. They even gave Him a prescription for it... which He filled. However He has not opened the package. We talked about that last week. His mind is full of doubt and worry. And it is to be expected. What if the pills don't work??? that would take away the last hope of being able to fuck me.......... What if He takes the pill and has chest pains......... then He can't take the nitrates needed to ease the pain/heart problems. It is a mental exercise in frustration.

As well ........... because of His heart attack.. Sir's sleep patterns are very different from mine. He needs 4 - 5 hours a night........ and often times doesn't come to bed till the wee hours of the morning. He is ready to play around 9 - 10 pm.. while i am heading off to bed. Now that is a real headache !!!


i have wracked my brain to see if i have covered it all......... probably not.. i have probably missed something........... BUT life becomes more challenging as one ages (in every aspect of living)....... ya just gotta try and find ways to overcome the challenges.. and compromise. And thank the gods that be that you are given yet another day to fight the good fight........ no matter the challenges.

bad sub

Sir was out last night....... and as happens when He is out.. i was left two tasks to complete.

1) to clean the upstairs bathroom
2) to organize my paper work for my taxes.

and i was to wear the clamps on my pussy and my tits (yuck) while i was doing the tasks.. (though i did point out to Sir that that would mean i would be clamped for HOURS!! so He agreed to let me wear them until i hit the wall - then i was allowed to remove them)

Well.. i started on the tax papers.......... and my god every year i forget how much work it is !! i stopped at one point to go and get the clamps...... and i did put them on......... they hurt.. and they made me angry......... actually i think it was more the paper work that was making me angry..... BUT... the anger was redirected at the clamps.. and the pain........... go figure.......

i am not sure how long i had the clamps on.. i guess about 20 minutes.. and i was so angry at that point i was almost in tears.. i just about ripped the damn things off.. cried cause dammit it hurt !!! then i went back to the paper work..........

After a good 2+ hours i had finally done all i could do for now........ i am missing one set of forms and one set of receipts (the receipts come from the bank and i am hoping - if memory serves me right - they come in around mid March - if not i have to beg another copy......... )

i cleaned up the mess .. organized the piles of paper... shut the lights off and came upstairs........ and stamped my foot. i did NOT want to clean the bathroom.. and i didn't.

This morning i am feeling guilty.... how hard would it have been to clean the bathroom - another 20 minutes or so........... but i didn't do it ....... and i had to 'fess up to Sir.

In all the time we have been together i honestly don't remember so blatantly ignoring /refusing to do a task.......... a simple one at that.

shoot me now....... k?

And then to make matters worse........This morning i discovered that Sir posted to His blog yesterday.........and as much as He is questioning how well He "dommed" me........... i am left feeling very guilty ... as there were things said... things done.. that i should have picked up on.. IF i was a good sub.......i would have given Sir's house a quick spruce up... you know running the mop and duster around.. and i didn't do it !!! OHHHHHHHHH i had very rational reasons for not doing it...... but still i am left feeling lazy and self-centered.. and very much a bad sub.. guess i am not as much a "service orientated sub" as i originally boasted about in my answer to kaya's question........ and i am embarassed to admit it :(

Think i am gonna have to do some navel gazing and work that one through...... yup.. gonna have to work that one through for sure !!!!