on fixing hurts

Remember my screwed up knee from way back in April?? i had just about given up all hope of ever getting full use of it again - especially after the last visit to the Doctor when she felt the bump (torn tendon) had not improved at all and talked about "permanent disabilities" and "physio therapy and occupational therapy"

Sometime in the last 3 weeks .. i stood up .. or moved .. i honestly don't remember what i was doing.. when the knee cracked - much like cracking your finger joints.. it kinda hurt .. or maybe it just felt funny...... i didn't give it much thought........

Then just before the wedding i noticed that the bump on the knee seemed smaller and hoped it wasn't just my imagination......... The day of the wedding i actually wore my "wedding strappy sandals" and my knee didn't give out once !!!

Then on Tuesday i decided it was wayyyyyyyy past time to clean out the fridge (there was this interesting odor emanating from it every time i opened the door) and suddenly realized i was down on my hands and knees washing the bottom shelf.. crawling around like the accident and bump never happened... (i almost danced a jig)

Well yesterday i went to see the doctor........... and yup.. you guessed it.. the knee is totally and completely fixed !!!! 99.9% normal........ (hey .. i am an old lady i wasn't even dreaming of 100%) No bump.. no permanent disability......... nothing !!! The doc sat there looking at me and told me i really amazed her.. my energy levels .. my ability to heal ... guess i am that tough old bird i keep telling Sir i am !!!

And so now the knee is fixed.. i still have 4 long summer weeks stretching ahead of me.... and a Sir who has been sadly neglected for so long i am ashamed to admit it....... i have plans.. oooooops am i supposed to make plans??!! (to hell with it i did and i am ) for a weekend of graceful submissiveness.. with me kneeling and crawling and getting naked.. yup yup yup.. and then Sir can do what He wishes with this naked crawling 99.9% fixed subbie..........

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i know it's early....... but i was struck with inspiration in the hot summer sun today.. and have written another story for The Fictional Journey..... enjoy !!!

On the decline of manners

i know i have written some words on manners and social skills before today - mainly because when i googled a picture for Miss Manners .. the search words were already there.. BUT it is something that has been on my mind for a month or so....... so here we go again.

i think, in a past life, i must have lived during a time when social skills and manners were respected and honored... (either that or being raised - partially - by a Victorian grandmother altered my perceptions of how things should be)........ either way....... i am disappointed by the state of the universe's etiquette.

This total lack of manners is manifesting itself in all forms of daily living........ road rage .. pushing in front of people in line.. service orientated people who have NO idea how to serve with grace and style.....monopolizing conversations......no thank yous for gifts or acts of kindness...... no holding doors for the person behind you.. the list goes on and on ... ad nauseum.

And god... don't get me started on R.S.V.P.'s ........ i just went through a month of wedding activities - from bridal showers - to bridal teas - to the wedding itself.. and i was shocked !!! at how many people did not see the need to R.S.V.P. Sir and i have experienced that when we were trying to organise munches or play parties... BUT weddings?? !!!

i honestly think i would like to go back in time.. to a more gentile era.. to an era of manners and social skills....... at times i feel so out of place in this era........

When i first started 'dabbling' in BDSM....... etiquette was strictly enforced... people's privacy was respected. You didn't just log on to any computer punch in BDSM (enter city of choice) et voila a whole mess of people willing and able to show you the ropes.

Nope that's not how it worked when i first started......... i used to think that one just kinda stumbled onto the BDSM scene. There were no advertisements for play parties...... no public munches. There were quiet formal dinner parties by invitation only. There were underground clubs but again by invitation only. You met someone who knew someone who knew someone else....... and you had to have a 'sponsor' to attend any of the above activities.

And the rules and protocols one had to follow !!! They make the rules of today look like child's play. Take the hanky code for example.... i wonder if i would have ever gotten it all straight.. if the hanky was in the left pocket it meant Dominant and right would mean submissive.... then there were the colours.. black meaning whipping.. blue meaning fucking.. etc etc.. If you want to read more about the history of the Hanky code .. click here

Even when i first started dabbling one could tell who was Dominant and who was submissive by the way they dressed. The submissive wore a collar and the Dominant did not. Today?? god everyone wears collars if they think it looks cool ?!? And the leash code/rule - one i rather enjoyed because it made life simple (actually most rules make life simpler in the long run) .. the leash rule was usually used in public venues..... if the submissive had the leash in his/her mouth - it meant they were not allowed to speak...... if the Dominant was holding the leash - then permission must be given to speak to the submissive....... It was all so simple then.

And there was code of silence...... what happened at a party or dinner stayed there. It was never talked about in mixed company! People's reputations were protected. You felt safe when you left a party... knowing that people would respect the no talk rule.

Today that has changed too.............everyone gets so wrapped up in what they see and do that they can't wait to tell their neighbours and friends. A good example was a private intimate play party that Sir and i attended about 5 years ago. A woman arrived - uninvited - with someone who was invited. Ok .. not so bad.....at least she was with someone who was invited. It turned out i knew this woman from work......... a week later i received a phone call that this woman had told someone who told someone else (about me being at the party) and the next thing i knew it was being talked about at kid's soccer game at my school !!!!!!!!!!! In the old days this would never have happened.. or there would have been consequences for the Dominant who brought her.. as well as for her.. They would have been ostracized from future parties.. and the Dominant would have received a lecture about the safety and anonymity of party guests.

Today people tend to shrug their shoulders and the attitude says quite clearly "sucks to be you"......

yes i miss the old days...... which probably makes me sound very old to the youngsters that are now the new life in the BDSM community... maybe i am too old.. too prickly.. too set in my ways.......... but i rather liked the protocols and rules that kept us all safe.........

If i ruled the world.......

Did you all think i had forgotten the questions?? well i haven't.. i have been keeping them for dry days....... when i am brain dead (and no smart ass remarks are necessary over that one!!!)

And so the next question....... actually two questions.. in my feeble mind .. they are kind of the same.. so i will answer them together..........
Are there things your Sir does, or makes you do, that just does not coincide with your expectation of what bdsm is "supposed" to be? If you were in charge, what would be different about your bdsm life?

To be honest - brutally honest - i would say the main thing Sir does that does not coincide with my expectations of BDSM is that as much as He is a sadist..... He is also a G.O.S. (good old Sir) ...........

He often times gives into my moods.. my ..... my.......i don't know what to call it........ but often times i feel He lets me get away with things.. lets me be a brattylocks.. or stubborn subbie....

Often times i would like to feel His hand holding tight to the chains..... pulling me back.. focusing me.. BUT on the other hand.. He also says i have been trained to do what He likes and He shouldn't have to tighten anything i should be doing it willingly and freely........ sighhhhhhhh.. but i do miss the tone He used when He trained me.. the tight hold He had over my life when He was training me.. i do !!!

He wants a graceful submissive........ but it just isn't that easy to be that........ cause sometimes i feel like i am subbing in a vacuum..... know what i mean??? where i am doing all the right things and they aren't being acknowledged........ He is just doing His thing.. and i am all "yes Sir .. no Sir...... 3 bags full Sir" and i feel like i am alone in this BDSM thingy............

NOW............ if i ruled the world...... what would be different??? Easy answer cause it is something i fantasize about a lot of the time.........

i would have a community (literally and figuratively) that was ONLY BDSM.. like a gated community..... only it would be self contained..

Everyone living here would be actively living BDSM........ so the slaves/subs could go out shopping in chains and fet wear and not raise an eyebrow....... Dominants would walk around with crops or whips or whatever they liked hanging from their belt........... subs could crawl or kneel in public and no one would think a thing of it...... subs could be made to expose themselves to others at their Master's whim without hesitation.......

Subs could be hung from the trees.. or flogged in the square..
Where dinner parties would have naked slaves serving at long wooden tables with the Dominants seated ...... where after dinner entertainment would involve whips and chains and pain .......oh yeahhhhhhhhh

There would be dorms for single subs.. and Houses for single Dominants.. and a mayor elected not for the size of his cock .. or for his talking the talk.. but for his ability to understand and appreciate all the various styles of BDSM.. for His knowledge and compassion .. experience.

Oh there would be committees to oversee all sorts of things.. from public events.. to handling the vanilla world outside the gates.. to investigating complaints against Doms.. subs.. etc..........

AND there would be an old folks home for aging Dominants and submissives....... with a big wide porch to sit on.. with rocking chairs ......... and maybe a dildo or two set into one or two of the rockers .. so the aging submissives could still enjoy some sensual titillation......

IF i ruled the world....................

The Story of brattylocks..

Once upon a time.. in a far away land .. lived brattylocks. She was the cutest lil subbie you ever did see!! She was very very good at everything she did.. especially at being bad !!









One Saturday afternoon........ brattylocks offered up a challenge to her "Poppa Bear".........in a cheeky voice with an added wiggle of her bum.. she suggested (very politely of course!!) that the next day - when all was quiet around the old cottage that He might be interested in beating her ass and giving her a good fucking............ "Poppa Bear" just laughed..........

However .. when Sunday dawned hot and humid.. "Poppa Bear" decided - around mid afternoon - that perhaps a beating was over due........ so He ordered brattylocks over the ottoman in the front room..........

Brattylocks - you must understand - was by now - completely out of the mood for a beating... all she wanted was to snuggle in the big comfy chair and dream away the day........ BUT "Poppa Bear" was insistent.......... so over the ottoman brattylocks went.......

First "Poppa Bear" used the crop.................

and brattylocks was heard to yelp - "OHHHHHHHHHHHH "Poppa Bear" that is too hard"..........



So "Poppa Bear" tried the leather strap.............................



and brattylocks was heard to yelp - "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH "Poppa Bear" that is tooooooo soft".............


Then "Poppa Bear" tried the wooden paddle .....................




and brattylocks was heard to moan - "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Poppa Bear" that is JUST right".....

And so the paddle was used until brattylocks was under control and then "Poppa Bear went back to the crop and the strap......... and continued until brattylocks' ass was bright red.. good and hot.. and she was relaxed and sleepy............

And Poppa Bear gave her a big hug........ and snuggled her into the big comfy chair...

And they lived happily ever after..................................
or until the next time brattylocks needed a good beating................ (which ever came first)

Today........

These past few days i have been taking my own walk down memory lane.... remembering 26 years of laughter, tears, scrapes, bruises, hugs and love.............



My baby is walking down the aisle today........ i didn't honestly think it would tug at my heart strings as much as it is....... After all... she has been with her husband to be for 8+ years.. and has 2 sweet lil boys with him..... It kinda seemed old hat - this marriage business... and yet on Wednesday when i sat with her and selected the music to be played during the service i found myself tearing up...... and yesterday watching her during the rehearsal... seeing the love in her eyes... watching them hold hands....... the tears all but overwhelmed me..



My baby is grown up....... the baby i held in my arms.. the daughter .. has grown up to be a friend......



And so i am off to slip into my strappy sandals...and walk my baby down the aisle with her father......... kleenix at the ready.........