Monday, September 02, 2013

Old Farts

We were invited to a dinner party on Saturday evening.  The invite said "for dinner and cards".  We accepted.

It's not always easy when you are the new kid in town to go to parties where you don't know everyone - well it isn't easy for me.  I am - by nature - shy and prefer to be with folks I know well.  But I rationalized I know W very well - and I knew one other guest very well - sooooo I would be ok.

We arrived and let ourselves into the house - as a guest on the balcony smoking told us to"just go in".  

I walked in carrying a hostess gift of wine expecting to greet the hostess and the host ... but the hostess was busy playing with the video / television.  In the end I actually followed her to the kitchen - still carrying the wine feeling a bit like a dolt and just thrust it at her and gave her an awkward hug.  

As folks arrived they congregated in the kitchen - I finally went around and introduced myself ........... because I do not know everyone!  Oh I may have met folks once before - but truthfully I do not remember them (did anyone tell me there was gonna be a 'test' months after I did meet them once??!!)

Dinner went ok - the food was ok - the conversation was weird.

Then everyone retired to the "family room" and just sort of sat around.  Conversation turned to the philosophies etc of BDSM and it was starting to flow for me.  Then - one of the male guests got up and left.............. coming back with a backpack filled with rope.  He had - apparently - asked one of the female guests if she wanted to be tied.  

The next thing I knew he was tying her - then the husband of the hostess disappeared and returned with a HUGE pile of rope.  Another male guest started to tie the hostess... and she turned to another male guest and offered him the use of her ropes to tie another female guest.

I glanced around the room (feeling very apart from what was going on) and there were 3 separate ties going on......... the original male with the original female, the hostess was being tied by a male guest  - and another male guest was tying another single female guest.

W and I............... 

Well we were left sitting on the sofa - like a couple of old farts acting as chaperones.

 First rule of BDSM is one does NOT touch anyone else's toys/ropes unless invited to.  There was no way in hell we were gonna touch the pile of rope in the middle of the room without being invited............ and we weren't invited.

Truthfully at that point I could have quite happily stood up and left - but I didn't bring it up with W - it would have been difficult to do it without making a HUGE scene.

When all the tying was over (oh stay with me here - it gets better) everyone seemed to spill out of the ropes and moved to different partners...... or multiple partners.  There was a whole lot of snuggling and touching and sexual tension.

Then one of the guests turned to us - and said  (honestly I cannot remember the context now - just the words spoken) "You two are old"............... WTF????!!!!

He made me angry - and as the famous line goes "don't make me angry - you won't like me much if you make me angry"   I thanked him for his kind words - I pointed out to him diplomatically that age is just a number and I have NO intention of "going gently into that good night" 

Shortly after I asked W if we could leave - I felt anxious and not the least bit safe or comfortable.  And so we left at 1:30 a.m.  I hear the party went on till 4:30 / 5:00 a.m.  I am not entirely sure I want to know what they did for those final 4 hours...... 

I do know that I hear occasionally here in Kingston - people bemoaning how the experienced folks are disappearing - withdrawing.  One chap even said on Saturday that he really wanted to learn about TPE and D/s relationships - but for the most part there was no one to learn from. Really??!! and this surprises you why???  

When your elders - who probably have some of this experience you are looking for - are told they are old - so old that perhaps they should be put out to pasture - the knee jerk reaction is to go "underground" ......... go private  - leave the young 'uns to play their silly little games and wonder where everyone has gone.....................

Because trust me I will NOT go gently into the good night" I intend to fill every moment of my life with 60 seconds worth of living  - I will NOT be delegated to the sofa to sit like an old fart.............. 

putting my soap box away ................


Alyson said...

If your behaviour makes you "old" then these folks would think I'm old and I suspect in years I'm younger than most of them are (I'm 28). How was just bringing in ropes and starting to tie each other up without making sure everyone present was okay with it appropriate (since the party didn't sound like it was presented as being a play party)? Of course, I don't think one should invite folks over for dinner and cards and be playing with dinner/video when they show up, either. The majority of my friends would also agree that it's inappropriate behaviour as a host. And not introducing guests to each other? To be honest, I'd suspect that even younger TPE practitioners in the area aren't going to teach that group because there sounds like a general lack of respect.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I really don't think so. I really hope you can find some more like-minded and respectful folks.

keth said...

I'm with Alyson. I don't think that has anything to do with age, but a lot to do with being just plain rude and ill-mannered. There's no way I would just be fiddling with the video when someone arrived, at the very least I would be apologising and explaining what I was doing and making sure that they had a drink first. And I certainly would not be presenting a play party as "dinner and cards" either - or at the very least, even if the actual invite said that (for proprietary's sake) then I would verbally add that there might be a little playing later and that you would be welcome to bring toys.

But really, for someone to comment "you are old!" is just the height of rudeness. I'm not surprised you were angry. I would have left way before you did, but then, I have a lot less patience than you clearly do!!!

you've posted a pic before now, something about heading into the grave screaming on rollerskates, having a good time right up till the moment you leave this world - you go, girl. I intend to do exactly the same!!


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