I'm not entirely sure when this attitude adjustment happened -- I have been cranky and unhappy for a while now.... (gee isn't that surprise for everyone!!) I have pre-existing conditions that makes living inside my head challenging (to say the least). I think everyone is aware of my OCD .... and maybe my anxiety..... but add to that borderline agoraphobia... and a couple of eating disorders... and social anxiety.
This pandemic has fed most of my 'conditions'. Since Christmas I was aware of how hard it was to leave the house... how sad I seem to be all the time - hell I cry at sappy TV ads.... how I am either overeating/binging secretly - or barely eating at all ... I would look in the mirror and almost not recognise the person looking back at me.
A couple of weeks ago I had a 'Eureka' moment....... don't ask what prompted it cause truthfully I don't know ... but suddenly I felt as though I was no longer in charge of my life... and it was time to take back my control.
I am so good at making lists and making schedules ... I made a mental list of what I was going to do EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
* devote time every morning and night to washing my face and moisturizing not just my face but my body (my skin was so dry I looked like a snake shredding it's skin)
* start making an effort to clean up before Sir Steve comes home - at the very least brushing my hair and adding a spritz of his favourite perfume
* spreading out the household chores - giving myself more time for ME - even if that ME time is only spent answering comments on here...
* logging my food and paying attention to the calorie intake........ ideally I would like to lose 10 pounds before June and summer clothes...... that is doable !! 10 pounds in 3 months yes very doable - safely! (considering a few years ago I lost 70 pounds NOT in 3 months but still - 10 pounds is easy peasy!)
* and the big one - EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. find one thing - just one thing - that I am thankful for
I am striving for one step at a time - one day at a time........ slow and steady ....
