Sunday, May 06, 2007

idle hands

(EDITOR'S NOTE: if you believe BDSM - or for that matter - LIFE - should always be serious and full of protocols and bowing and scraping then perhaps you should skip today's blog entry)

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My grandmother ALWAYS used to say "idle hands are the devil's play things" .... and looking back on this week.. she may just have been right........

It all started off innocent enough - honest it did !! i decided to 'organise' my bookmarks.. (i DO like things organized!!) and i was finding - as happens - that many of the urls i had were defunct..... and i was deleting them... i came to a folder in my favourite's list that was entitled "subbie handbook"... and i remembered the day i started that folder .. it was done as a very tongue in cheek project .. i was gonna collect every single humorous.. bad...bit of advise on the net .. compile it into some form of "subbie handbook" and print up a few and hand them out as gifts.. (ok ok questionable gifts.. maybe.. BUT if the Dom had a sense of humour...... it might have been funny right?? !!) And besides - trying to save my reputation and ass here.. i never actually did make up the book.. or give it to anyone !!!

Anywayyyyyyyyyy.. i was going through the links in that folder and finding a few defunct ones.. but i kept stumbling across the funny ones.. the ones that epitomized the whole raison d'ĂȘtre for the original idea......

i re-discovered:
* "Ten things you will never hear a sub say to her Master"
* "The S A M list"
* " BDSM lies"
* "Fifteen Rules I learned the hard way"

and of course the succinct
* "Ten ways to be a SAM"

Ok....... so now .. how does all this apply to the "idle hands" title .. well besides weeding out the defunct links.. some of the articles i read fed my.. ummm.. shall we say... over-imaginative mind...... my cheeky side.. my bratty side??


So that on Saturday afternoon when Sir told me to come and present myself for a good quirting.. (is that a word?? ) quirt = nasty whip thingy that is really truly used on horses' asses to make them run faster or jump higher - i call it a little attitude adjuster for horses.. BUT Sir calls it a toy........ (yeah right !! some "toy"!!)


Anyway.. i was bent over the chair and Sir was going at my ass in fine form.. when suddenly with no explanation i got this image in my mind from one of the links that i read this past week.. about putting on nail polish.......... well i looked at my nails and they were already nicely polished for the evenings outting....... but i did notice - between hits - that the cuticles and my hands in general were a little dry.. i got a terrible fit of the giggles - and not being entirely sure i could pull this off.. i said..
"STOP STOP.. wait a minute" in such a convincing tone that Sir stopped immediately and looked at me with that "what's wrong" look... the minute He stopped i knew i only had seconds to pull it off..

i jumped up and out of position and nearly ran to the hall table.. Sir is gaping at me.. and saying
"what are YOU doing??!!" i open a drawer where i always keep vaseline (get your minds out of the gutter - i use vaseline on dry hands !!!) and proceeded to lather some vaseline onto my hands... i thought Sir was gonna explode!!! i didn't want to push it tooo far.. so i scurried back quick as can be and resumed the position.. explaining that while He had been quirting me.. i noticed that my hands were dry!! (said all innocent and angelic like) and i proceeded to work that vaseline in so nicely around my cuticles..

Can you imagine the quirting that followed???!!! i was hollering and yelping and grabbing my ass........ then i was hit with another terrible fit of the giggles... each time i grabbed my ass.. i was leaving vaseline hand prints .... now i can honestly avow to the fact that water/wet ass may hurt more than a dry one.. but trust me folks !!! vaseline on the ass is a kicker !!! and it doesn't evaporate - as Sir so nicely pointed out to me...........

yeah idle hands may just be the devil's play ground.. but play grounds are fun places too !!!

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(FINAL EDITOR'S NOTE: if you wish the links to any or all of these sites.. you will have to leave a comment asking for THEM!! i will not be blamed for polluting the minds of so many innocent - good - well behaved subbies!!! i will post the links - IF - i get any requests - at a later date!!)

7 comments:

melinda said...

this had me giggling...

Sire said...

I'm just trying to imagine the thoughts in your Master's head as you, during the middle of a beating, tell him you've got to see to your nails! Priceless! It sure had me laughing!

Sire.

cflower said...

hi,i have not commented before, but i read you daily and i enjoy the things you write about so much... todays post cracked me up...lol! now im curious about your "subbie handbook" articles... i would love the links if possible! have a wonderful day! cflower

Buffalo said...

I'm at a loss for words.

rose said...

omg you had me picturing the same kind of thing with my Master. I can just see His face , the look of disbelief he would have.
Thank you for the great chuckle.
Take care from one Canuck to another :)

SeaRabbit said...

Humm... nicely bratty... and so out of context I don't dare imagine Sire face...LOLOLOL...
And please, post the links... we are all trying to get that bratt inside to get more skills... ;-))

lessa{D} said...

ohhhhhhhhhh, just found your site through M:e's blog... and yes, please send me those url's or leave the links on my blog... they sound to funny...

and grinnnnnn... a submissive is supposed to take good care of herself... that's including avoiding dry hands and cuticles... so you were only doing what you are supposed to do....

don't do later what you can do now...

lessa