Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Jealous




I had the little one all last week -- for 10 hours a day alone.

We worked out quite a routine..... after breakfast and getting dressed and tidying up the trailer -- she wrote an entry in her 'journal'.... something she enjoyed from the day before.

Then by 10 a.m. we had packed up the sand toys and headed off to the beach where she made me lemon soup and lemon tea and lemon pies all out of sand and mud.... 

By noon we were home to make lunch

By 1:15 we were heading down to the rec hall for arts and crafts till 2:00 and then we went to the swimming pool till about 4

Then we headed home for a snack and quiet time before 'Daddy' came home and supper.

From Monday to Friday (1:00 p.m. exchange time)

Every single day

Whether I felt like it or not.

This week I have watched as mother has pawned her off on neighbours and an aunt.  I have even seen the lil one get herself to arts and crafts alone cause mother went shopping with the grandmother.  I have watched her turn into a 'street kid'.....


And I have become the green eyed monster -- jealous of the mother's ability to dump her child.......... to do nothing with her child............. I wish I could just dump her too (NO I don't but sometimes it feels like it !!)

Last night in a rant with Sir Steve I said "I should file for full custody of the lil one cause I spend more time with her than any of them!"

And that was an unfair rant cause there is nothing Sir Steve can do 
There is nothing anyone can do

I HATE that this green eyed monster has taken hold of my heart...........

4 comments:

Baker said...

You have such a huge heart for a child that has been neglected by her mother. You fill such an important role in her little life. Keep working hard. In the end it will be your love she holds in her heart and cherishe because you poured into her when no one else did.

NoraJean said...

Take heart, Morningstar ... you are making good memories for the little one ... memories she will come to cherish in the years to come. I had such a special person in my very young life when it was torn apart by acrimony and divorce. She was my 'go to' ... you will hers as well. ... hugs ... nj

Roz said...

Oh Morningstar, I echo what Baker and NJ have said. You have opened your heart to this little girl and made a huge positive impact on her life.

Hugs
Roz

Lea said...

It can be so hard sometimes, but you consistently push that green monster aside and put your love out. That's what matters. And the little one knows it, too. So does Sir Steve.

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