Saturday, October 15, 2016

Negotiate?






Hands and CG are away this weekend for some much deserved private time.

Yesterday he was talking to me about some tasks he wanted me to do while they were away.  During the conversation he brought up things to come in the future in our private times.  One of the things he said was 'maybe we will negotiate some consensual/non-consenual play".  

I sat staring at the words. I was confused.  I questioned why we needed to negotiate anything further -- in my mind we have negotiated everything.  He knows my hard limits. He knows I trust him. His answer was that he took my trust with honour and with responsibility.
 

Last night I kept stewing over this.  It upset me.  It made me feel like I was only bottoming for him.  Yeah it really upset me.  It brought a big lump to my throat.

I came here to write about it -- to get it out of my head ya know?? and when I was looking for a picture for 'negotiate'  I came across this....

  
and it stopped me in my tracks.  I restarted my thought processes.  Yeah in the past I have only ever negotiated once with my Doms and my Tops.  I never thought it was necessary to negotiate any further.  Was I wrong?

Granted we never discussed consensual / non-consensual play.  But we have talked about it as a fantasy of mine. I can't help thinking how 'non-consensual' will it be if we negotiate it and I know what he plans........ do you know what I mean?? 

I get where he's coming from -- but I AM struggling with the concept.  Any thoughts?? words of advice?? 

2 comments:

AngelsQuest said...

Morning :)

Since you say you've spoken of it as a fantasy, my thought is that he's planning it as a scene, rather than an on going dynamic? If that's true, he may want cover some ground on it. For an example, you may need a specific safe word in place.

He sounds quite methodical and caring. I'd trust that there's a good reason he wants to talk first.

Lea said...

I'd take it as he obviously cares about you and doesn't want to cause a lasting trauma, hence negotiations. I'd think of it less as a negotiation and more an open conversation about CNC and what you two both think about it.