Saturday, September 17, 2016
I am pretty sure I have talked about the voices in my head... no not THAT kind of voices -- but these voices are always reinforcing lessons learned over my life.
I have been working hard in therapy to control these voices... to sort them out ...... to let go of them. These voices are keeping me from fully living my life. I know that -- so why is it so damn hard to let go of them???!!
I don't think many people realize the power these voices have over me. I don't think I fully realized it until just recently. I think I thought I would never be able to fully get rid of them..... their whispering words: "not pretty enough -- not good enough -- not capable enough -- not strong enough -- not smart enough"..... on and on endlessly.
A little while back I repeated something my mother used to say all the time to me and my therapist looked at me and said "right now -- at this moment - I don't think I like your mother very much" That's the first time anyone has ever said they didn't like my mother -- and didn't like her lessons. I got a little bit defensive...... but my therapist planted a seed...
Over the last couple of days I have done some real deep thinking about those lessons the voices whisper. I realize how ludicrous a lot of what I am still hearing is! And I am coming to realize that they are not just gonna go away -- I have to stop listening. I need to replace them with positive re-enforcement -- I need to learn to take back my power.