Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Answering Lilac's questions........


On Monday Lilac asked me a couple of questions based on the dinner party.... 

1). Isn't Hands supposed to ask his wife to help you in the kitchen ?
2). Don't you think you may be stronger than who you think you are as in role-wise ? For example , you keep calm and you can control the situation etc ? 

(clarified version of #2) "Have you ever thought you may be somewhat dominant ?" 

I decided to answer it in a post -- cause usually more than one person has thought the same thing.............


#1 -- not the way I see it Lilac -- though I welcome other thoughts on the matter.  

We both serve him and it is our responsibility to make sure his needs are taken care of.   I don't believe either of us should have to be told what to do for him in regards to obvious needs -- like preparing his dinner.

This relationship is very new and we are all still working out the details...... BUT... the one thing I know (want) is that when we are all together I would like his wife and I to serve him together -- BUT with my always being mindful that she comes first -- I am the 'second' so to speak.  When she allows me to serve him it is a like a gift she gives me.  This style of poly is new for me -- I am following his wife's lead and Hand's lead obviously.  We are figuring out what is going to work best for the 3 of us -- no one else just us 3.



#2 Oh wow Lilac -- believe me when I say you are not the first person to suggest that I may have a dominant side.  (small smile) I have had my fair share of folks at munches ask me if I am sure I am submissive

And I will tell you what I tell them....... I am submissive to my core.  I did -- once upon a very long time -- try domming and made a mess of it ...... it didn't feel comfortable -- I didn't feel comfortable in my skin.   

I do have a very strong personality -- I ran a business -- taught school and raised two kids -- all of which involve a fair amount of "taking charge".  BUT it exhausted me and I hated being in control.

I also firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with being a strong submissive - in my addled brain -- when I give up control it means more than if I were a doormat and rolled over for every person who used a capital "D" or "M" in front of their name.  Maybe Dominants wouldn't agree with me -- I know W used to say "just once he would like to dom a weak submissive" -- shrugI believe -- and this is just MY belief -- that my job as a submissive is to make my Dominant's life as easy and uncomplicated as possible.  No Dominant will ever have to 'micromanage' me - I'll take care of me and if that makes people think I am dominant -- shrug -- so be it -- I just believe being a strong submissive might just increase my value (grinning)


and one other thought -- have you ever been in a group of submissives where there is no leader??? dear god in heaven -- NOTHING gets done!!


and I have often wondered - in a group of Masters/Dominants - if anything would get done either - with them all thinking they should be in charge (cheeky grin)

(ok that last bit was written a little tongue in cheek)

I hope that answers your questions Lilac -- if not -- please feel free to ask for clarification!

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Now Day 7 -- last day of the photo challenge

   

  

1 comment:

Lilac said...

Morningstar, thank you very much for the clarification. As I stated earlier , I am very new to the lifestyle and therefore I have no idea how submissives act in a group. But as you wrote before in your posts, I've read about the dinner parties where the men sat and women wore all black dresses and served quietly, etc . It sounds very fascinating even imagining while reading it.

Yes and I would like to ask you questions. Because I have a little confusion here. They say that once a person submits, that person can't make the rules . What would you advise and suggest a young and very strong submissive (who is a complete leader in vanilla world) entering the lifestyle in looking for a Dom ?

1). Should she find a 24/7 Dom who will let her do things her way in serving ?

2). Or should she find a Dom for bedroom purpose only ?

Thank you very much again. It's always good to read your posts.