Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Answering Lilac's questions........
On Monday Lilac asked me a couple of questions based on the dinner party....
1). Isn't Hands supposed to ask his wife to help you in the kitchen ?
2). Don't you think you may be stronger than who you think you are as in role-wise ? For example , you keep calm and you can control the situation etc ?
(clarified version of #2) "Have you ever thought you may be somewhat dominant ?"
I decided to answer it in a post -- cause usually more than one person has thought the same thing.............
#1 -- not the way I see it Lilac -- though I welcome other thoughts on the matter.
We both serve him and it is our responsibility to make sure his needs are taken care of. I don't believe either of us should have to be told what to do for him in regards to obvious needs -- like preparing his dinner.
This relationship is very new and we are all still working out the details...... BUT... the one thing I know (want) is that when we are all together I would like his wife and I to serve him together -- BUT with my always being mindful that she comes first -- I am the 'second' so to speak. When she allows me to serve him it is a like a gift she gives me. This style of poly is new for me -- I am following his wife's lead and Hand's lead obviously. We are figuring out what is going to work best for the 3 of us -- no one else just us 3.
#2 Oh wow Lilac -- believe me when I say you are not the first person to suggest that I may have a dominant side. (small smile) I have had my fair share of folks at munches ask me if I am sure I am submissive
And I will tell you what I tell them....... I am submissive to my core. I did -- once upon a very long time -- try domming and made a mess of it ...... it didn't feel comfortable -- I didn't feel comfortable in my skin.
I do have a very strong personality -- I ran a business -- taught school and raised two kids -- all of which involve a fair amount of "taking charge". BUT it exhausted me and I hated being in control.
I also firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with being a strong submissive - in my addled brain -- when I give up control it means more than if I were a doormat and rolled over for every person who used a capital "D" or "M" in front of their name. Maybe Dominants wouldn't agree with me -- I know W used to say "just once he would like to dom a weak submissive" -- shrug. I believe -- and this is just MY belief -- that my job as a submissive is to make my Dominant's life as easy and uncomplicated as possible. No Dominant will ever have to 'micromanage' me - I'll take care of me and if that makes people think I am dominant -- shrug -- so be it -- I just believe being a strong submissive might just increase my value (grinning)
and one other thought -- have you ever been in a group of submissives where there is no leader??? dear god in heaven -- NOTHING gets done!!
and I have often wondered - in a group of Masters/Dominants - if anything would get done either - with them all thinking they should be in charge (cheeky grin)
(ok that last bit was written a little tongue in cheek)
I hope that answers your questions Lilac -- if not -- please feel free to ask for clarification!
Now Day 7 -- last day of the photo challenge