Hands gave me a task to complete yesterday. For most people it would be easy and most likely pleasurable. But not for me. For me it made my stomach clinch and knot. I thought to myself -- it was a pretty open ended assignment........ I don't have a time frame ... I can work on it.. build up my 'confidence'.
But half way through the day I got a message from Him........ had I completed the task? I explained no I hadn't but I was working up to it. He offered me incentive.
I really did struggle for about 2 minutes. Despite my nervousness about the task -- my desire to please -- my desire to do what I was told won out and I completed the task and sent him my report.
For me -- that is what submission means -- it's not all fun and games and what pleases me -- not even close. It is doing what I am asked to do and pleasing him. It's feels so damn good to find that place again -- I have come home.