Wednesday, July 27, 2016

BDSM thoughts






I am as old as dirt -- and have been around the BDSM lifestyle before there was an "internet" to find 'like minded' people.

I 'cut my teeth' on D/s -- on protocols and rituals and Yes Sir No Sir philosopy ........... 

The internet opened up a mostly private world to new folks -- folks who didn't necessarily fall into one of the categories that were already established -- Dom/Master or sub/slave.  

The group I was involved with eyed the newcomers with patience -- and tolerance.  BUT they rarely if ever invited the newbies to events we held.  The philosophy was they won't fit with our way of doing things -- they can be "kinksters" - they can be "swingers" - they can be "players" but not with us.  I learned, that when we were out at public events, to be polite -- to smile and be socially graceful to them -- but not to include them.  We had our ways -- they had theirs.

For years these newcomers were on the fringes of my life -- I do remember one public party where the newcomers were draped all over the equipment -- not using it -- just posing for their friends in their fancy expensive outfits.  The 'doms' carried floggers tucked into their belts -- the subs had fancy collars on with leashes attached.  They didn't play -- they just walked around -- were seen -- and posed.  

And a new term was coined -- 'the new S/m' - stand and model.  

Life continued on -- I moved on -- I dipped my toes into the newer BDSM -- played in the shallow end with them -- laughed and joked and bratted -- and watched. 
 I have watched a total disintegration (in my opinion) of the beauty of BDSM -- now it is not about being pleasing and graceful -- it seems to me -- it is more about being showy and flashy -- and outrageous.  

For heaven's sakes I saw the other day a picture of someone's toys -- and right in the center of some paddles was an anime mask.  WTF??!!  an anime maske?? I kept thinking how that Top would look like some wrestler from the WWWF (or whatever it is called)   Where was the beauty - or the grace in that?? 

I have read article after article arguing / debating basic tenets of BDSM - BASIC TENETS -- it is being twisted and changed -- and people are being rude and bullies!! Stand and Model is becoming the norm not the exception.  People are training other people without any creds -- well not creds that I am used to (and yes this is JUST my opinion)

People are laughing at collars -- don't see the need for them -- don't understand the significance -- the honour of them...  People don't seem to understand the whole power exchange thing -- are watering down the "gift of submission" 

It honestly feels like the lifestyle I love and cherish is being ridiculed and laughed at... I am a foreigner in my own world.

And so it has come full circle -- I hardly go on Fetlife -- only to answer the odd email message -- or to look up the one munch I will now attend.  I glance at my feed and shake my head and log off.  I do not belong there -- not anymore.  Now my BDSM is private again.  Now I will only engage with people who understand my BDSM world -- who appreciate and honour the beauty of my BDSM world......... the quiet beauty of protocols and rituals -- not done as a "side show' for others -- but for the one who holds my heart -- my submission.


 
 

 

1 comment:

Lea said...

I am a newer sub. Sir and I don't play with others, though we do go to munches. I can't imagine the "stand and model" part though... what is the point, then? I keep my private life private... I don't want to put myself on display for ... photos? If not photos, just to look hot? I mean, its nice to feel attractive, but you can do that without pretending to be into BDSM.

I guess I don't get it either.