Monday, April 25, 2016
Well I feel I can safely say there was a lot of personal growth on Saturday night....
I am extremely lucky to have two very special people who have hung in there for over a year with me - gently encouraging me to get my ass (literally and figuratively) out there into public play again.
I was SO damn nervous when they finally picked me up on Saturday afternoon - not wanting to feel like a "pity beat" - feeling out of place - third wheel sort of feeling. BUT they went out of their way to make sure I felt included - and that I was their bottom for the evening!!
The potluck dinner and social time was probably the hardest for me.... so many new people - my shyness just descended with a vengeance. Thankfully Angel was there to lean on when I needed it... but I did my very best to mix a little bit -- and to eat some food.
Then it just sort of flowed you know.... we all went downstairs and one minute I was watching a scene - and grinning and the next minute I was "instructed" to stand and hold the cross while they got the toys and got organised.
Nerves made me brattier than usual - and yeah I paid the price!! BUT once I settled down - and He made me understand that they would not tolerate any more brattiness - the play on the cross went well.
With my permission they took some pictures and I hope to get them soon so I can share a little of my "pleasure". It has been a long time since I played with two pretty damn good 'sadists' at once..... so there was a lot of pleasure .......
At the end - my anxiety / emotions just overflowed and I landed up in tears... and had a lot of reassuring to do that they were indeed happy tears.......
We rested for a bit - and I socialized with some friends - going back to the couple a few times for hugs and strokes - and just plain reassurance all round.
Then she started talking about rope.. and asked if I liked it. I hesitated. Rope was something I endured to make W happy - I can't say I ever totally enjoyed it. She is a rope person and agreed to show me a totally different style of rope.. sensual rope.
I have no idea how long the rope scene went on..... it felt like forever. And it was amazing! She had a full appreciation for my piercing and made sure the ropes were intricately balanced over it... so that with each tug of the rope - each wrapping - every little movement of my body brought pressure to bear on the jewelry.
Then there was a couple of stingy hits with a carbon stick - a true "bitch stick" and she asked if i was prepared to have the ropes removed.
AND dear god! talk about torment! IF I thought the ropes going on caused me blessed tension - the taking off was so much more!!! I honestly have no words to describe the sliding - the rough and soft - the goosebumps that formed on my flesh.
There is something about being cuffed to a cross - and then bound in ropes - so NOT in control of anything - that is hot for me....relaxing and reassuring all at the same time.
There were more snuggles and more hugs and kisses - and then they bundled me in the car and brought me safely home. A happy spacey bottom glowing from within,
And so another hurdle from my past has been knocked aside - another small step towards being whole again.
I am SO blessed to have so many friends to aide in my healing process.