Monday, April 18, 2016

Acknowledgement





The above is what I found when I googled 'polyamorous" in google images.

It hasn't been a big secret that in the last few months I have decided poly was the right fit for me.  And that I have had 2 active play partners.  

BUT neither of these relationships has been public.  One I am totally fine with it being discrete - that was all discussed and agreed upon at the very beginning.  And I am good with it  - there is honesty and expectations and needs clearly covered. 

The other was always identified as poly.  Yet there was no public acknowledgement of it.  And with time I began to feel - rightly or wrongly - like I was living in the shadows.  AND it was wearing down my sense of self.  

BUT I put the blame on my shoulders - I let things go along status quo.  I didn't say I need/want some progression.  AND I know that he is/was having his own struggles and I  came to understand them - slowly - but still with some confusion.

We have been talking more - which is a good thing.... always a good thing.  

Yesterday a slow metamorphosis began......first he acknowledged one partner .......... then a stall and my heart sank ........ and instead of being patient - I jumped the gun - and was told to be patient.  I didn't understand....... and was confused and yeah a little bit hurt......... 

but then there it was - the public acknowledgement of poly partner.  And ya know - it felt an awful lot like walking out of the darkness into the sunshine.  No secrets - no pretending - no hiding what is.

In a lot of ways this acknowledgement doesn't change anything - we have always been who we were - but now - I feel he acknowledges me .....  and that is a very good thing!

No comments: