Thursday, March 24, 2016
My whole body was wrapped in burning heat - pain so glorious I couldn't stop smiling
My thoughts were focused - like a pinpoint on the pain...... nothing else existed - not even the Sadist - though I could see him and hear him - he was like a ghosted figure in my world
There was total peace in my mind and my soul - something much more intense than anything I get from meditating - or working out at the gym - more intense than anything I have ever experienced before
AND as weird as this may sound - I was sexually aroused because that is who I am - but in that moment - it didn't matter - it wasn't a tangible thing - only the 'blackness' and I don't know why that word comes to mind - but it was like darkness, a warm embracing darkness that did not scare me but surrounded my body and held me tight.